OK Riot I need help to better my attitude

OK, just going to say it I am toxic and I know I let myself get carried away, but I want to change that. Riot I really want to reach out to you for help on this, I love this game but I say pretty stupid things(because well, im dumb). Is there any possible way for you to permanetly ban me from in game chat? I know I can mute everyone and turn off cross chat, but I would rather not have the option to turn it back on or forget one game and be toxic in that one.

I know it's an odd request, but I really want to play this game and want to take actions before my own in-game actions ruin it for me.

I want to reform myself and I think a chat ban for a lengthy period of time will get me to realize my own mistakes, and make me less willing to give up on a game.

If you can do anything Riot members anything at all I would really appreciate it :)