Help me rustle jimmies in bronze
Due to general screw-ups and being matched with superior opponents in my placement matches, I find myself once again in the pit of despair known as bronze 5. Knowing that I can beat my opponents senseless and climb out, I'm not too concerned. However, this time, I want to have some fun doing it.
I main top and mid, and prefer to farm up before roaming to lanes and ganking around level 6. Can anyone think of obscure champions with abilities that will confuse the heck out of my bronze opponents? Example: Sejuani's E has almost no particle effects and can be used from range, allowing me to execute low health opponents as I ride off into the sunset.
I have zero qualms about breaking the meta with my champions, so don't hold back with your suggestions. For the record, I main Nocturne mid and have enjoyed considerable success with it.
top: 
I'm over here! No wait, I'm over here! Oh, you're ganking me? I'm back here now!
Do the Shurima Shuffle! queue music Also, I have another turret just in case you kill mine. It also works on yours. Hah!
Dives you from half a screen away, takes 70% of your health, bends space time and goes back to safety while healing himself and doing damage. Ok.
Wards are useless. You spent 75g on that juicy 
You belong in a Museum. Seriously though he's incredibly annoying being able to be in the fray while being able to E away to safety.
THOU SHALT NOT GANK MY ADC!!!
Half your health from a whole screen away? SeemsGood.
Oh, you just worked so hard to pick up that juicy kill and survived by the skin of your teeth? J/k. Also, kill me I'll still fight you.
If you're cunning enough, the enemy team will have an aneurysm trying to chase you down. Also jumping in and killing a squishy and jumping back out is infuriating.
Press R -> We're fighting. NOW.
You're not moving. Ever.
I found your ADC. They'll respawn soon.
I'll trade you mana for HP and HP for mana and mana for HP and....
Shrooms. Everywhere.
Similar to jayce. Poke the enemy team from Fog of War for maximum effect.
Team-wide imprisonment. He also hurts and scales to infinity and beyond.
The walking artillery turret.
If you have the mechanics and luck on your side, 1v9 the game. If not, 0/10. Lots of people hate him. His Wind Wall will tilt any line-based ultimate champion to death.
Gank mid from Red/Blue. Proceed to watch the enemy mid laner sit under their tower. Then dive them there.
Where am I ending up again? It's cool, neither my opponent nor myself knows. I have the element of surprise. Also R and button mash for free kills on squishies.
RIP Towers.
CHRONOSHIFT BABY!!!!!!!
My plants will take half your health while I'm safe under my tower. They also out-range a lot of ADC's, leading to heavy tilt and nigh impossible sieging on her.