Things I Learned About Riven from Boards

This essay is listed in my "Master List of Essay Threads" under the title "On Things I Learned About Riven From the Boards"

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Did you know?

• Each of Riven's q's move her 2000 units, more than any other non ult gapcloser in the game, and all of them can go over walls and knock up for 2 seconds each
• Riven's w is a targeted aoe stun with 1000 radius that stuns for 3 seconds and cannot be reduced by tenacity
• Riven's e moves her 1500 units and shields for 100% of incoming damage for 5 seconds, on a 1 second cooldown
• Riven's ultimate gives her 1000 bonus ad, 500 extra range on her spells, and can be activated again to deal 100% max hp true damage to all targets in a 3000 range 90 degree aoe cone in front of her, resetting on kill or assist
• If riven holds onto her q charges until the last second, right after she uses her third q she can immediately q again 9 more times, this is because riven only has cooldowns as a resource and luckily comes with a base cooldown reduction of 90%
• Despite being a glass cannon melee ad champion, riven can always make it past the enemy frontline right onto a squishy enemy carry without being interupted. This is because rivens base 90% cdr includes her flash, which is therefor always up and can be combined with just a single 2000 range q to zip right past all potential defenders
• By taking your hand off the mouse and using it to mash rivens ability keys with two hands, you can double her damage. this is why she's known as the 'no skill faceroll' champ of legend
• Riven's passive is that every time she gets a spell, she gets five sheen procs on her spells instead of autoattacks so every spell deals 250-500 extra damage after the first.
• Riven main's ban their counters and nothing else in draft, therefor unlike other champions Riven never faces a counter lane.
• When Riven is a selected champion, the enemy team is disabled from buying armor items in the store, especially if they are a top laner.
• Riven leaves roughly half of her games. The best strategy is often to just not lose long enough for her to afk.
• At one time, red elixers could be bought at level 1. No riven ever lost a game during this time.
• All riven players religiously watch boxbox streaming because occasionally they get the rare opportunity to see a mysterious super hot girl who is cosplaying as riven and plays just as well as boxbox, but is totally a girl and not boxbox
• Riven has a hidden passive that draws the attention of the enemy jungler whenever she is losing lane, allowing her to farm two champions at once in order to catch back up
• Even when losing lane hard and down many levels and cs, one kill can put riven back in the game. This is because unlike other champions riven gains 100x normal xp and 3000g on champion kill
• Unlike other champions, Riven actually has fans and a playerbase. This is a weakness, as riven is unable to have anyone speak in her defence without the statement being dismissed as 'defending their waifu' and thus logically completely invalid regardless of the players ranking or personal knowledge on the matter *Unlike other champions, riven players can buy items from the shop, most notably she can get free lifesteal to even out her lack of innate sustain and hp regen (by buying items that gives lifesteal and sustain like hydra and potions). She can even get free revives (by buying ga), free %hp damage (by buying botrk), free tankiness (by buying tank items), free cdr (by buying cdr items), free armor pen (by buying armor pen items) and free movespeed (by buying boots). Looking at it this way, riven truly has no weaknesses because unlike other champions, she can buy items to exaggerate her strengths or reduce her weaknesses.
• All Riot employees are Riven (Zed, Vayne, Lee Sin and Thresh) mains which is why she is immune to being nerfed
• Some people might argue that Riven's purely AD scaling abilities robs your team of a tank. This is grossly untrue, her E gives her (permanent) bonus HP and as the Cinderhulk meta showed us, HP is the only tanky stat you will ever need.
• Playing Riven takes all mental capacities of any living person, that is why Riven mains dunno how to play any other champion but their apm is 100 times higher than average human.

Share your own riven facts here and I may add them to the list.