Irelia's ultimate: So bad that sometimes I don't level it until level 16

It's supposed to heal you if you shoot it into a bunch of enemies, right? So why is it every single time I hit 3 or more Champions, its healing is NIL?

Problem: Relies on AD/AP scaling to do any damage, but Irelia's kit scales better with attack speed. Low healing ratio due to no damage decay per subsequent target. Kept intentionally weak on damage due to anti-minion capabilities.

Solution?

1. Increase base damage, but cause ultimate to deal halved damage to minions/monsters.
2. Increase healing ratio vs Champions, but add damage decay per subsequent target.

I doubt anyone will agree with me, though, because "Irelia's fine, STFU".