Back before the plants update, I played a lot of tanks in the jungle and I would just tell my allies the same thing all the time...don't kill the Gromps. A large monster every once in a while is fine, but the Gromps are mine. And of course, you should never kill a large monster in the immediate vicinity of your smite ally IMHO unless it's late game and they don't need gold anymore.
When I have fallen behind and our jungle ally has been slacking on clearing camps, what I usually do is ping a camp and ask them to kill the large monster while I take the small ones. If they don't come, then it's better to finish off the large monster at that point. Of course if I have like a Runaan's and my jungle ally is ganking way too much I just yolo it and devour his jungle.