Alright Riot, if fixing the queue system was too hard, let me help you.
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Scrap Dynamic Queue. Don't care what this means in terms of your business model, it was a mistake.
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Bring back Teambuilder.
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Make it so players select and queue for a position by selecting a role, a champion, and one champion "a ban, if you will" that they don't want to play against. There should be a solo-queue, a 2/3 man queue, and a five man queue.
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Matches are made instantly with no pre-game lobby (unless you want one, that does sound a little too streamlined).
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Laugh and pretend nobody was responsible for the bullshit that has occurred over the last 2 months.
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Wipe away your tears of joy with stacks of $100 bills.
IT WAS THAT EASY, I SWEAR.