Need Coaching (Re-post to proper thread)

(Reposting in the hopes of continued dialog)

I'm just not climbing. Every game there is some hard tilt. Wins aren't rewarding, and losses are so bad there's no way to come back unless everyone on the solo que team works together super tight (not happening). I came back to this game in 2018 after a 2-3 year break expecting that after some practice and getting better, I'd finally improve from Silver 2-1 and reach Gold.

It's just not happening... no matter what I specialize in, no matter how hard I try to last hit, no matter how much I /mute all and am not toxic. Nothing gets better. I just want that Gold. Just one year of my life, and I can't improve my gameplay and I don't know what else to do other than admit that I'm only as innately good as a Silver player, or the average person. It shouldn't make me feel so worthless, but it does.

Edit: I started in season 2, ranked through Season 3-5, and then quit full stop until mid season 8, where I played Normals for months just practicing, win or lose. I climbed right up to Silver 1 in preseason 9, and am now demoralized and hard stuck in bronze 1- SIlver 4 at the start of season 9."

So after my lament. I've really tried to improve my game in all roles. I have 2-3 champions I've played extensively per role with some overlap as follows;

TOP- Aatrox Kayle Volibear

Mid: Galio Aatrox Xerath

Jungle: Jarven IV Shyvana Volibear

Bot: Ezreal Ashe

Support: Xerath (I play aggressive non supports as support... sorry... it's not that often.) Jarven Galio

Each one has tons of normals behind them with almost zero deviation from this pool unless all banned and am forced into another role or my stuff is banned in the role I got.

I've dedicated whole practice games to JUST cs'ing, I can usually average 75-95 cs by 10 m as a laner without being harassed.

I try to use my wards on CD, and ward pixel bushes and enemy jungle frequently.

I shove lanes and back off before enemy can gank me to focus on macro game (have one games this way).

I try to counter build, but in the damage meta it's still kill or be killed sadly... so I'll get armor for AD enemy team, or compensate for whoever is fed.

But my games just fall apart too often.

Areas I know I'm weak in but am not sure where to improve are as follows;

-Counter jungling, I often don't know how to respond without dying, because the enemey send it's laners to stop me, or my own laners don't help me fight off a counter jungler.

-My ganks often fail, even against an over extended enemy that's up near my tower, or they get away, or enemy jungler shows up and owns us.

-My top lane dueling and cs is especially bad, but all my lanes suffer when I'm being heavily harassed and I'm not sure how to farm and still trade with melee champs, especially vs Conq users like Jax, Riven, Fiora, Tryndamere, or ranged tops like Vayne, Teemo, Quinn, and Urgot.

-If I'm not bot it almost always feeds. Just thought I'd mention this... it's pretty bad.

Someone help me. Coach me. I want to see that Gold... but I'm just not sure it will ever happen if THIS is the best improvement I can make. I'm missing something badly in most of my games and I just can't for the life of me see what it is.