Can someone at Riot explain to me how Volibear keeps avoiding reworks/updates?

Let's be clear: I'm not a volibear player or main or anything. But really, I want to sit down and ask why Volibear isn't being touched. At all.

#1.) Volibear's Gameplay Pattern is the simplest in League of Legends.

I'm not exaggerating either. Where is the skill expression in Volibear's kit? Almost everything in his kit is "Run at you and check your stats". To further iterate this, here are some comparisons to "Simple" champions:

Has the ability to time E during the Q for a surprise stun. Sure, it's not much, but it's something. Villain mechanic and canceling E for reduced CD. Also timing courage for CC waves. Contains one (1) skillshot.

Volibear's got nothing. No timing involved. No planning. Nothing but psuedo-mind games in passive baiting.

#2.) Volibear has an insanely strong theme wasted on such a generic kit.

Volibear is a ursine (read: bearman). But it's not just that. He's a psuedo-shaman of storms and controls lightning. He's the leader of his people. He's one of Sejuani's councilers in the Freljord civil war. This character oozes potential for someone who does...well, anything with his kit. Instead, Volibear recycles parts from almost every other brusier to be the generic bruiser/diver/juggergod kit.

#3.) Volibear can never afford to be strong.

Remember that time Volibear got nerfs because one guy was spamming him in, like, challenger or something? Volibear is a stat-stick champion. A champion who is only strong if his numbers are filthy mcdisgusting. If his numbers aren't strong, he isn't worth picking.

But for all my complains, Volibear's biggest issue is that he's old. He, more than anyone else, reeks of a design Riot put out because they knew a bear-in-armor would sell. He's a character shipped out ASAP to cash in on a meme that was quite popular at the time during Season 2. I'm not a volibear main, as I said, but this is a champion that deserves better than what he gets.