Fuk i'm bad. HELP!

Before advice is handed out like it's out of style, I'm just looking for a way to better my jungling skills after watching multiple videos and applying as much as i can i still find myself lacking hard in my elo against others in my elo.

My main atm is actually but I'm trying to ween off of it, gnar is very strong right now, I rarely lose matches when I take gnar, but I won't grow if I keep at it.

I found another champ that resonates with me heart and soul. I know they aren't THAT strong but they have come back a little bit. I'm peeved that I feel kindred is EXCESSIVELY weak in matches of jungles like Atm. That's a big list and really makes it feel... redundant to want to play them.

But I do! something beyond just winning, I want to win a champion that's weak, I want to carry with a champion I've been told can't carry alone, and I want to feel better for winning a game with kindred and NOT feel like it was because of some assassin or AD/AP tank.

I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. But if I'm getting caught out by from a bush and dying I'm doing something wrong. If I'm dying because I ganked and my team ignored me I can't blame them I made a bad call, now what would have been a good call. I can accept loss, but I can't accept that I'm unable to carry any game, that I'm failing to 'FEAST' and always famine, and I can't accept I still can't 1v1 this sack o**********************

If you would really like to help I'm all ears.

http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/2553070063/232601856?tab=overview

that should get us a good footing.