Genius (Self-Proclaimed) Developer's Guide to Avoiding Pre-Season Pitfalls

Experimental changes are always welcome, but here are some warnings to avoid getting our legs caught in a bear trap and being forced to gnaw it off while escaping from actual cannibal Shia Labeouf:

Knight's Vow Should not stack on the same target so that I won't see 4-Tank Kog'Maw trap me in Elo Hell.

Lucian Ghostblade no longer fits inside ammo clips. Buff early game.

Talon While in-combat, add an internal cooldown to E after jumping over a wall. I don't want this guy to be Parkour Master Nidalee (But, he's a guy).

Vision Ward RIP Pink Wards. On that note-

Shaco RIP Pink Ward.

Jhin Needed a nerf anyway.

Ezreal Became immortal. His Pulsefire self in the future is currently eradicating humanity with himself. Only Blue Ezreal can stop him now.

Lee Sin Redeems failed kick with Redemption.

Fizz Still an asshole.

Zed Ghostblade's as heavy as a brick. Bring back Kenshiro.

AP Assassins Now counter AD assassins if Sorcerer's Bane's channel can be interrupted by damage.

Raptors Don't lower the small ones' HP. Apdo already fucks junglers over at level 1 enough!

Blue Sentinel & Red Brambleback Should have ate their own kind to get big and fit nice and snug in that buff camp.

Locket of the Iron Solari Next thing you'll know and they'll come out with the Pendant of the Lunar Atari.

Strength of Ages Died from being an old ass bitch.

Rod of Ages You're next.

Duskblade of Drakengard Drag-on Dragoon 3 Not as anime anymore.

Black Cleaver AD Assassins will still need their extremely silent stealthy armor shredding greataxes. That means we need more CDR items for assassins.

Death's Dance Too good on Graves, not on assassins. Wait...

Graves Still an Assassin. I retract my earlier statement.

What the fuck are these icons? Title.

Hextech Protobelt Not on Katarina! Not on Fizz! PLEEEEEAASSEEEEE NERF THIS THING ALREADY!!!

Redemption

1. Range should be reduced to Nocturne's ult (rank 2 or 3) rather than Pantheon's ult so that the distance to Baron from base is more appropriate.
2. Ability to cast this ability while dead should be limited to between 5-10 seconds of dying to prevent the obvious abuse case of enemy team winning a team fight, but three champions on your team have Redemption and cast it simultaneously in a triangle at Baron.
3. Should either A: Not do damage to minions or B: Have a 150-180 second cooldown. This item should not be capable of slow pushing a wave from afar (example: support buys it and also gets ruby sightstone).
4. Guys, I'm super sirius right now.

If you don't take my advice, I will write passive aggressive comments on your boards and then Ctrl-A-Delete them before I post.