Human Azir must have been quite the womanizer...

SaltyToplaneGoat·May 6, 2016·26 votes·4,359 views

... let's hope he's stopped doing that, because... have you ever seen how birds go about mating rituals?

"Oh a lady I like! Better sing at my loudest and do an super impressive dance!" And because it's Azir "WHILE PRAISING SHURIMA OF COURSE!"

And then has to get dragged away from his very embarassed grand-(200xgrand) daughter Sivir who keeps wondering why she even puts up with all of this.

Let's hope he has enough decency to not start flirting with Taliah. I'm not sure what ancient shurima's age of consent was, but I doubt it was higher than what it is today <_<

66 Comments

FasmodeyMay 6, 201613 votes

He had harem... Can you imagine how much sex did he have? Like, probably more than active Story, Art & Sound members had combined.

Xerath was probably asexual.

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20162 votes

Hmmm wouldn't be so sure about Xerath. Also, holy shit, the lore is out a day and people on tumbr suggest Azir and Xerath had been a gay couple in young years. Pffff people wtf... Well, his efforts to help Azir from the shadows are truly impressive tho, so there must have been some kind of affection here. Meh, but unless proven otherwise I assume every character is bisexual by default. It's not like that's a character defining part of them or something ^^

Also, yes having a harem was probably normal for a royal at that time.

So, if you constantly had a private free borthel in your house... how often would you use it? xD

FasmodeyMay 6, 20161 votes

[{quoted}](name=Kyoki Shinkuro,realm=EUW,application-id=6kFXY1kR,discussion-id=YIUxEOmq,comment-id=00000000,timestamp=2016-05-06T01:35:15.528+0000)

Hmmm wouldn't be so sure about Xerath. Also, holy shit, the lore is out a day and people on tumbr suggest Azir and Xerath had been a gay couple in young years. Pffff people wtf... Well, his efforts to help Azir from the shadows are truly impressive tho, so there must have been some kind of affection here. Meh, but unless proven otherwise I assume every character is bisexual by default. It's not like that's a character defining part of them or something ^^

Also, yes having a harem was probably normal for a royal at that time.

So, if you constantly had a private free borthel in your house... how often would you use it? xD

Well, even while I serve in a different way (xD), I dont think Xerath had romance on Azir. He knew he could reach the knowledge and deep secrets with Azir in easier way, so he got closer to them. Then he noticed he could be free with Azir's help, so he became even more friendly on him. I think it was pure friendship. I dont think anyone could kill someone who you truly love. He killed him.

In other question, until I lose my desire. I dont think I would become a sex machine like Azir because I care about the relationship and personality. Sex without romance and emotions are not that interesting, actually pretty boring.

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20161 votes

Nah, i doubt initially he just approached him out of calculation and hunger for power. They formed some kind of friendship, that actually MADE Xerath long for power, so he could protect his friend. But then the hunger for power corrupted him I guess...

Let me rephrase that: Imagine instead of fapping, you would go into your harem every time... that's a LOT of sex tbh <_<'

FasmodeyMay 6, 20161 votes

[{quoted}](name=Kyoki Shinkuro,realm=EUW,application-id=6kFXY1kR,discussion-id=YIUxEOmq,comment-id=0000000000000000,timestamp=2016-05-06T02:04:13.079+0000)

Nah, i doubt initially he just approached him out of calculation and hunger for power. They formed some kind of friendship, that actually MADE Xerath long for power, so he could protect his friend. But then the hunger for power corrupted him I guess...

Let me rephrase that: Imagine instead of fapping, you would go into your harem every time... that's a LOT of sex tbh <_<'

It is also possible, nice point.

On other case, that's too much, stop. :E

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20162 votes

It's a matter of how used you are to it. According to nature "too much" doesn't exist with this kind of thing. There is a certain species of apes that spends like 95% of all time they are not eating or sleeping with doing it...

And as a royal, there might have been the societal pressure to make use of the harem. Like... "what kind of king doesn't do it six times a day? Is that even a real man?" Something like that probably xD

FasmodeyMay 6, 20161 votes

[{quoted}](name=Kyoki Shinkuro,realm=EUW,application-id=6kFXY1kR,discussion-id=YIUxEOmq,comment-id=000000000000000000000000,timestamp=2016-05-06T02:38:50.520+0000)

It's a matter of how used you are to it. According to nature "too much" doesn't exist with this kind of thing. There is a certain species of apes that spends like 95% of all time they are not eating or sleeping with doing it...

And as a royal, there might have been the societal pressure to make use of the harem. Like... "what kind of king doesn't do it six times a day? Is that even a real man?" Something like that probably xD

My reaction on this wasn't real tho. I actually don't care. xD Everything goes for max 15 minutes if it is pure sex. So nothing is lost. And I dont think a male would have the desire to make second shot in a day.

15 minutes for a day is K. May be it's even less because of harem, you know...

IcyPepperMay 6, 20161 votes

And I dont think a male would have the desire to make second shot in a day.

Only if we believe hard enough.

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20161 votes

Indeed. Usually the full "recovery time" for stamina in this specific area is ~30 minutes, sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on the individual.

An emperor with a first class harem... 6-10 times a day (implying there was no work at this day) is not out of the question. And the body adapts to that rather quickly.

IcyPepperMay 6, 20161 votes

I dunno. If we're talking seriously, wouldn't he have to take breaks every once in awhile? Like, a few days for a dry "cooldown" period?

Otherwise, it would probably start hurting...

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20162 votes

Dependes on how used the body is to it.

However, once you are used to tons of it and you suddenly cut down the sex, THEN it starts hurting (for reasons of "tank too loaded".

Also, I think an emperor had surely access to certain substances and magic to make things go a bit more... well, how do I say that... less troubleing? Just in case, of course, not that any emperor would have ever admitted taking these ^^

Lord GalvatronMay 6, 20164 votes

We more threads like this ^ :D

Ironclad DragonMay 6, 20163 votes

{quoted}

Xerath was probably asexual.

"Everybody is interested in something."

"Not me. When I see what desire does to people, what it's done to this country, I am very glad to have no part in it. Besides, the absence of desire leaves one free to pursue other things..."

PailidinMay 6, 201610 votes

Bro, moves get the ladies.

AND

He's got the move of Michael Jackson! Who wouldn't want a piece of that?

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20162 votes

The thing is... he still is a giant bird. I mean, if that floats your boat... <_<

DecritMay 6, 20165 votes

The thing IS that he has a giant bird :^)

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20162 votes

Ah, I see what part of the internet you are coming from... ^^

Well, be careful then, beaks are not good at kissing and cause accidental injuries if things get too heated ^^

DecritMay 6, 20161 votes

Eh. Uh. Actually i do not :/ it's just that where i come from you can talk about "birds" refering to male genitalia.

I thought it was the same in english... but looks i was wrong?

Vistha KaiMay 7, 20162 votes

Personally, I haven't run into this usage of the word "bird" in english.

I can see a dirty joke about "the early bird getting the worm", though.

DecritMay 7, 20161 votes

Nevemind, i have settled it by playing Hatoful Boyfriend.

... god why

Vistha KaiMay 7, 20161 votes

[googling]

That's indeed a very original prima aprilis joke.

Vistha KaiMay 6, 20163 votes

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/805/835/a32.gif

charcharmunroMay 6, 20169 votes

Azir and Sivir sound like they would make a great sitcom. Quickly, we must think up the titles.

Lord BoltrixMay 6, 20165 votes

Shurima is the Word

DecritMay 6, 20162 votes

"Shurimans"

Now imagine it with a font like "Friends"

SoliceMay 6, 20163 votes

"My patriotic Shuriman grandpa"

Elite4RunnerMay 6, 20166 votes

This made me think of a skin idea. Pr-Ascention Azir. What did Azir look and act like before he ascended. He could still be very bird-like, but clearly human. Same for his soldiers, they could still be made of sand, but appear to be more like a human soldier. Kinda like the Pre-Void Kassadin skin.

I think I'm gonna share this idea as a skin concept.

The Last BalladMay 7, 20165 votes

He could look like he has a falcon helmet on, instead of a falcon head.(with a face visible underneath)

Chad ChadlainnMay 6, 20165 votes

Azir is the pimp of League. I respect him a lot more now. Having a harem, embarrassing his own daughter, being a fucking bird.

What more could a guy want?

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20164 votes

Dunno, breadcrumbs maybe? ^^

revliledpembrokeMay 6, 20164 votes

Depends on what you mean by womanizer. If you mean he actively pursued and wooed woman, not necessarily. He could have just gone around saying "WHO WANTS TO FUCK THE EMPEROR?" and the groupies rushed him. Since it states that he had children with "ill-advised liaisons," we know he didn't just murder the girls he lay with. Given that he wanted to free the slaves, he might have also been forward thinking enough to give the girls small stipends/paychecks/child support from the Empire. Alternately, he just said "I'm your Emperor, fuck me." If you meant he had a lot of sex with females, oh definitely. Just about every Medieval lord or king did. The only person from our antiquity who could maybe match him would be Valeria Messalina.

DecritMay 6, 20161 votes

Well, probably a bit of care for the childs was there. Maybe not because of affection but because he was the Emperor and Xerath was becoming bad ( literally ) about solving his problems that were like "just take some damn coin and make your life with it". We are talking about a civilization where probably the common people were everything but well-fared, so even the smallest part of the royal treasure could be a fortune for them.

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20162 votes

In old cultures, money was a LOT more worth. If you had 40 coins, depending on the coin it could potentially be enough to by a big house. Even one coin could probably ensure that a family could eat for a week...

Seems weird to us, but after several decades of natural inflation we are just more used to higher numbers of money.

DecritMay 6, 20164 votes

I am an horrible person.

Why?

Because when i reread the Azir' s lore, when he found out what happened during the ritual and he withnessed the sand ghosts of his family i had a totally different alternative idea of what happened.

"Oh no, my Cleo... no wait, were you Jenniffer? You were the sixth or the seventh wife i had ( damn sure i aged badly)?"

The Last BalladMay 7, 20162 votes

Usually there was the political/love marriage that had the wife became queen(which probably was that one). Then there was the harum, which was used to get as many children out into the world, with only the Queen's children being eligible for inheritance.

Virgin RayMay 6, 20163 votes

I feel disgusted to play Azir now. No wonder Xerath wanted to kill him.

HighH1May 6, 201614 votes

I think it was more "He's kept me a slave for a long time" than "He banged a lot"

Lord BoltrixMay 6, 20161 votes

You never know...

SoliceMay 6, 20165 votes

Or both. At the same time.

ModWulf HelhammerMay 6, 20163 votes

He was an emperor of an ancient empire. They tended to have a lot of affairs

Xion MoonrayMay 7, 20163 votes

Don't forget the whole spitting-up food into their mouths part.

Also, real talk? Taliyah is no puritan. She is definitely making passes at Taric and Ezreal in her /taunts.

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 7, 20162 votes

https://67.media.tumblr.com/6ab3d717fe08bdc1658e059c5aa373da/tumblr_nc5mrhUHxy1qfe9t2o1_1280.jpg

You mean, something like that? ^^

Average BardMay 6, 20162 votes

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-16083-Bitch-I-m-FAB-U-LOUS-bird-4eCa.gif

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20161 votes

Yepp, that's what I was getting at ^^

DreamspitterMay 6, 20161 votes

[{quoted}](name=Kyoki Shinkuro,realm=EUW,application-id=6kFXY1kR,discussion-id=YIUxEOmq,comment-id=,timestamp=2016-05-06T01:24:09.824+0000)

... let's hope he's stopped doing that, because... have you ever seen how birds go about mating rituals?

"Oh a lady I like! Better sing at my loudest and do an super impressive dance!" And because it's Azir "WHILE PRAISING SHURIMA OF COURSE!"

And then has to get dragged away from his very embarassed grand-(200xgrand) daughter Sivir who keeps wondering why she even puts up with all of this.

Let's hope he has enough decency to not start flirting with Taliah. I'm not sure what ancient shurima's age of consent was, but I doubt it was higher than what it is today <_<

Isnt Taliyah like.....15 years old and he's like 4000+?

SaltyToplaneGoatMay 6, 20162 votes

16-17 probably, according to a redpost in the Q&A.

However, in many old cultures that was already considered "being adult", at least from a legal point of view.

Also, he was pretty much frozen in time for most of those 4000+ years, but yeah, I can get why this could appear drastic. Sure, I doubt he's the kind of guy who would force a woman to do as he pleases, but he'd probably would try some flirting - and that's probably creepy enough already ^^

But I'm confident Tal will smack him hard if he tries anything weird. ^^

The Last BalladMay 7, 20162 votes

She's planning on smacking him hard even without the flirting...

DreamspitterMay 13, 20162 votes

[{quoted}](name=Kyoki Shinkuro,realm=EUW,application-id=6kFXY1kR,discussion-id=YIUxEOmq,comment-id=00080000,timestamp=2016-05-06T07:19:33.727+0000)

16-17 probably, according to a redpost in the Q&A.

However, in many old cultures that was already considered "being adult", at least from a legal point of view.

Also, he was pretty much frozen in time for most of those 4000+ years, but yeah, I can get why this could appear drastic. Sure, I doubt he's the kind of guy who would force a woman to do as he pleases, but he'd probably would try some flirting - and that's probably creepy enough already ^^

But I'm confident Tal will smack him hard if he tries anything weird. ^^

Is Taliyah gonna have ta choke a 4000 year old chicken?

Warlord DienekesMay 6, 20165 votes