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Vehril, The Shadow Mage [Champion Concept]

Ulvinis·3/23/2016, 12:46:23 AM·2 votes·839 views

Before I get into the actual concept, I'm extremely grateful for any input on the concept. Good or bad.

Vehril is a war orphan that was adopted by a mage in Noxus. He was raised as an apprentice to the mage since he was young but only ever produced average results. He could also sense a bit of disappointment in his master's voice when she talked about it, so he strived to become a mage she could be proud of. However, he couldn't do so by normal means. In order to become stronger, he searched for an ancient tome filled with old magics and through various leads, found that it was in the hands of the Black Rose. He set up a meeting with a member to try and negotiate for just one excerpt of the tome. They agreed but the price was steep. After he mastered shadow magic, he was forced into perpetual servitude to the organization as an assassin and his former master disappeared without a trace. During a mission he received to spy on the Noxian High Command, he was captured and forced fight for Noxus' honor or die at the hands of the executioner so he joined the fight in the League of Legends.

Passive: Mark of the Shadows Enemy champions damaged by Vehril's abilities are revealed for 3 seconds and take a maximum additional 5% damage at max stacks during the duration. Stacks up to 5 times.

Q: Shadowbolt A linear skillshot that passes through all targets and does 70/75/80/85/90 (+60% AP) and is on a 15/13/11/9/7 second cooldown.

W: Pall Cloak Vehril becomes an untargetable shadow that moves to a target location. Upon arrival, he bursts from the shadow, dealing 90/110/130/150/170 (+75% AP) and is on a 20/18/16/14/12 second cooldown.

E: Silhouette of Thorns Passive: Causes the shadows of enemy champions, minions, and jungle monsters within melee range to do damage to themselves for 80/90/100/110/120 (+45% AP) every 3 seconds. Active: Extends the effect to within auto attack range and drains mana every 3 seconds.

R: Shadow Manipulation Vehril locks himself in place and snares all enemy champions in a target area for 1.5/2.25/3 seconds and deals 150/200/250 (+50% AP) over the duration. During this time, Vehril can toggle his E but can use no other spell.

3 Comments

Kit DoubleEdge3/23/2016, 3:17:39 AM1 votes

Lore could use some work. Seems more like an old champion lore than a modern one. Modern lores focus on the character's backstory and why they do what they do. Not so much why they joined the League. Looks like a bursty mage. The only problem I see is the amount of AoE you have. It's like burst after burst with some DoT and it feels a little.. simple? Maybe broken because this could easily disrupt an entire team fight. It reminds me a lot of Amumu and Lissandra. You have a skill that displaces you, an AoE CC ult, and some DoT. Lissandra doesn't have DoT, but Amumu does. The whole damage from their shadows thing, unless it's flavor text, doesn't seem like it'd work that well visually.

Simon Lancaster3/23/2016, 7:55:52 AM1 votes

Some minor things: Lore: The Black Rose is believed to be long gone (by the general population, as summoners we know a bit more). Some explanation (it'd better be good) about how he knows about and knows how to contact them would be nice, and maybe have a little more deception and trickery involved in his price, that's what we're they're all about. Sidetrack: And idea I had for the terms of his agreement was, "As soon as your time with your master is done, you will serve us." Seems fair at first, but then his master goes mysteriously missing... Time's up. Maybe he comes into his full powers after this happens, when he's in their clutches. Back to the review: The final part of the lore seems a bit off to me, again because of how good the Black Rose is at what they do. I've nothing against the old style of lore, but I don't think Katarina and Talon would take too kindly to spies ;) Maybe have a little story of his "unlikely" rise in status, and have him volunteer his services for some reason, perhaps so someone else (probably an important pawn) doesn't get executed?

Kit: I like it quite a lot, only a few things I'm going to point out. Passive - Mark of Shadows I'm assuming you mean that chaining abilities increases their damage, the wording just hit me kinda funny. This is a nice mechanic, if all his abilities weren't on such long cooldowns, excepting his E. Q - Shadowbolt Nice and simple, but I feel he would need this on a much lower cooldown since it has low damage, as he has no other reliable damage after his E. This would bring him a bit more in line with champs like Lissandra and Karthus, who I see similarities to. W - Pall Cloak First off, I love the name. How fast does he travel when within it? Speed or Lissnadra Ice Claw or Kalista's Fate's Call? I thought closer to Kalista's ult, for the feel of the move, but let me know what you had in mind. Otherwise, looks good. E - Silhouette of Thorns With this ability, I see his identity coming together. He plays with you a bit, making you jump at shadows, then goes in and makes you get scared. If you've played Don't Starve, I'd see him fitting in well there. Since you need to be close to your enemies for this, he'd be a bit like Swain in that he'd deal AoE and be a bit beefy for a mage. The timing for damage and mana drain on the toggle on is a bit weird, I think it would be better to just go with the tried and true damage and mana cost per 1 second, with obvious adjustments. R - Shadow Manipulation See no problems with this, imagining some awesome visuals for this.

Play well, play together,

  • Summoner Simon Lancaster {{summoner:17}}

EDIT: You should read up on the Black Rose a bit, it's really interesting just to read and could help you develop his backstory a bit more, as it's rather difficult when we don't know a lot about them. Check out the old League Judgements for Vayne, Swain, and LeBlanc, from the Chamber of Antiquity (Forum Lore Archives). Also, my own Black Rose-inspired champ concept, let me know what ya think of Syril and take inspiration/information from him if you like.