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[Champion Concept] Zael, the Displaced Magicite

Nikushimi Zero··7 votes·1,956 views

Background Zael, born a lowly peasant. A worker. Different from the rest of the kids. Zael was born neither male nor female. Zael did not care whether he was called a she or he. For simplicities sake and that of conversation and documents it didn't matter. Her name usually sufficed well enough. This of course placed Zael apart from everyone else. Bullied and picked on Zael's family did their best to protect their child. However, it did nothing to stop the torment. It did however awaken something born inside of Zael. A power. Very strong. Ever since being born Zael had nightmares. Great catastrophes....that came true. One year it was a flood that ruined the crops. Another was a fire that killed the millers. A raid by bandits that destroyed the town, but most survived. So many nightmares all true. Some, of course, were pleasant. A wedding of two opposing families to break the feud. A bountiful season for harvest. Everyone ignored Zael's "visions". Though, when Zael was to the breaking point his power was unleashed. No one was harmed, but the children no longer bullied or picked on Zael.

Zael soon became well known in the village for being their seer. A position that landed his family a decent living. Zael was happy to help despite the previous interactions with the towns people. Zael did not care about the past and had a kind heart. It was when Zael turned thirteen that they came. People like Zael. Neither male nor female. People with powers much like Zael, but not. Zael's family knew what was to happen. They shared a sweet farewell, and Zael departed to become a part of something bigger.

These people, called Mages, were lead by the Magicite. The most powerful mages to exist. They lead the kingdoms together with the rulers. Acting as aids, guides, advisors, inventors, etc. Only those like Zael were ever born with these powers. None, however, were as powerful as Zael. At least, not since ancient times. They believed Zael to be a calling of something bigger. Though, those thoughts were pushed aside as Zael trained. Zael rose quickly in rank and renown. Their visions and powers becoming stronger....and controllable.

This control led to Zael's most powerful vision. A dark awakening. A city frozen in time with one sole survivor forever lost to time. A man ripped from his reality from betrayal as his beloved dies before him and their souls entertwined. Then, a dark brooding. A calling that was so strong....so sinister that Zael sweat for the first time since they were born. Awaking from the stupor of vision diving Zael breathed heavy. Something was coming....something sinister.

Zael took care and told the Magicite, of which they were the most powerful now and the leader. Discussing terms they prepared. A year passed and Zael began to wonder, along with others, if this was just a fluke. It never took so long for Zael's visions to take place. It was in this weakened moment it happened. Striking from the Grand City of Kaul'Odin the orb arose. Dark and imposing. Zael stood atop the Magicite compound in shock. The power it wielded was beyond anything they had seen.

The orb struck out, lashing at the surrounding city and chunks flew off across the horizon from its body. Fires soon arose and the sky was filled with red. Zael knew....their family had died. All across their world people were dying to this....this thing. Zael, in anger and desperation united the magicite compound together, using all of their power to banish the orb. A circular cage surrounded the orb. Their powers colliding and causing tremendous storms of magic causing destruction and death.

The cage opened to an oblivion. A place of nothing to send the orb. Just before it winked out of existence a voice rang out. So dark and cold it sent shivers down Zael's spine. "I will return. My slumber has been disturbed....my re-emergence hampered. My influenced stimied. I shall destroy you all." With that, the orb winked from existence, but not before it lashed out one more time striking Zael hard. Zael only had but one glimpse of their world and the other magicites falling dead before it was winked from existence. When Zael awoke they were in a strange land. Zael knew this land. They saw the other two...those men. The two from Zael's vision. Zael knew what they had to do, but before setting out he whispered a word. Zael would find a way to destroy that darkness. That....thing. Their world gone Zael knew they would have to find a new way, but not before finishing that thing once and for all.

"Darkness is coming...."- Zael, the Displaced Magicite.

The image used for the appearance is not my own and was found via google. It is an amazing piece of art that the original artist deserves credit for. I am simply using it as a reference to my champion as it is very close to what I imagined. So, thank you. ^_^

Appearance http://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1389830591i/8058294._SY540_.jpg This is Zael. He/She is an Asexual being from another world. This is exactly as I imagined Zael except for the horns. Remove the horns and you have a pretty good representation of Zael. The one thing Zael can do, like all others like him/her is actually change to a full female form, full male form, or neither. Zael usually stays inbetween like the image, but this is just lore information and doesn't effect gameplay or look. Just a bit of trivia if you will.

Zael's eyes are covered because they need not see as they have the "Sight" which allows them to see the world without "seeing" it. If that makes sense. It is also due to enhancing Zael's "sight" when it comes to visions and senses. Not to mention it looks pretty damn fashionable. Underneath Zael's eyes are silvery white, like the moon.

Name Pronounciation Zael is said like eye/hi and eel put together, but with a Z at the beginning. So it's kinda like Zz-eye-eel or Z-hi-eel. Hope that makes sense. If not...do your best. :P I won't be mad.

Weapon, Voice, Personality Zael's weapon of choice (basic attacks) is a kinetic blast which looks like Zael moving their hand in a fluid motion and a purple blue streak/orb followed by that streak/orb expanding on hit like a wave.

Zael's voice tends to lean more towards a feminine tone rather than a masculine one. It is calm and calculating, but also strong and commanding. Zael tends to speak with whimsy rather than severity.

Zael's personality tends to be on the lighter side of things. Zael has always been a "tomboy" type person despite not affiliating with any gender. This is used to describer Zael's style and personality. Kind hearted and tough however Zael will not allow anyone to mess with their friends and loved ones. Taking great offense on their behalf. While having a temper Zael's kindness always shines through. Zael might give you a black eye, but then be the one to place the icepack on afterwards.

Other Information Zael is linked with Zoth and Valen, my other two champions. You can find links to them in Zael's "Friend" section by clicking on their name. They are part of a series I am working on. This one took me longer to finish than the others due to being unsure if I have everything ready for Zael and also due to real life interfering with me completing Zael. However, I have no released Zael. This will all come full circle with the final champion being released at a later date. The are all a part of a story. I hope you enjoy! Thank you! ^_^

Stats Health: 470-1980 Health Regen: 6-18 Mana: 450-1130 Mana Regen: 7-22 Armor: 25-87 Magic Resist: 30 Attack Damage: 60-105 Attack Speed: 0.65-0.97 Attack Range: 600 Movement Speed: 355 Primary Role: Mage Secondary Role: None

Quick Synopsis Zael is an agile powerhouse mage who excells in punishing enemies who get to close to their spells. Zael's abilities allow great pushing in the early phases of the game, but once late game hits the opponents magic resist can put a hamper on this. It's best to keep Zael safe behind bulkier enemies as they are exceptionally squishy.

Zael can be placed in Mid or Bot lane as an AP powerhouse to put the pressure on enemies. In team fights Zael's abilities put great strain on the enemy team as their hits are like artillery. Zael, however, has the effects most mages have, and that is lack of decent AA. Locking down the abilities of Zael greatly weakens them and their squishy status makes them easy to dispatch afterwards.

Passive http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/resource_images/15/icons_14009_btn.jpg Attunement Zael is in tune with their magic. The more power Zael has the more intune they become to their powers and thus becoming even stronger for it.

For every 50 Ability Power Zael is granted 5% Cooldown Reduction and 5% Movement Speed.

Zael gains stacks of "Attunement" for every spell that hits an enemy up to a max of 100 Attunement. Enemies killed by Zael's abilities grant 2 Attunement for Minions and Small Monsters, 5 for Champions, and 10 for Dragon and Baron. Just hitting an enemy, but not killing them with a spell grants 1 Attunement. If multiple enemies are hit, but not killed, they stack up to a max of 5 Attunement even if more than 5 were hit. If multiple enemies are killed then all of the points stack with no limit.

Attunement grants bonuses at certain thresh holds. These bonuses are Spellvamp, mana regen, and magic penetration which increase in power at each threshold. At 100 Attunment Zael's spells gain an extra effect. Attunment is halved upon death.

Attunement Thresholds 10: 3% Spellvamp, 20% Mana Regen, 5% Magic Penetration. 20: 6% Spellvamp, 30% Mana Regen, 10% Magic Penetration. 30: 9% Spellvamp, 40% Mana Regen, 15% Magic Penetration. 40: 12% Spellvamp, 50% Mana Regen, 20% Magic Penetration. 50: 15% Spellvamp, 60% Mana Regen, 25% Magic Penetration. 60: 18% Spellvamp, 70% Mana Regen, 30% Magic Penetration. 70: 21% Spellvamp, 80% Mana Regen, 35% Magic Penetration. 80: 24% Spellvamp, 90% Mana Regen, 40% Magic Penetration. 90: 27% Spellvamp, 100% Mana Regen, 45% Magic Penetration. 100: 30% Spellvamp, 110% Mana Regen, 50% Magic Penetration, Abilities become "Attuned" and gain effects.

Q http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/resource_images/11/icons_10295_btn.jpg Sol's Fury Zael summons a 200 unit meteor within a 700 unit cast radius. The meteor slams down at target area after a 0.25s delay dealing 40/70/100/130/160 (+50% AP) magic damage to those in its radius. Within the center of the meteor is a 50 unit radius and those within this radius also take 2/4/6/8/10% of their current health as true damage over the next 3s. This true damage does not stack, but can hit multiple enemies if they are within this 50 unit radius.

Mana Cost: 50/55/60/65/70 Cooldown: 13/11/9/7/5s

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/resource_images/7/icons_6908_btn.jpg Sol's Wrath Attuned version of Sol's Fury.

The initial impact expands outwards for a total radius of 400 before collapsing back on itselfs after a short delay. Those within this expanding radius take half damage. After 0.25s this wave collapses back into the original 200 unit radius. Upon collapsing all enemies caught within it are dragged back with it.

NOTES Sol's Fury/Wrath is Zael's way of controlling the field with artillery. Well placed shots cause serious havoc in the enemies rank. However, the ability shows a shadow the moment it is cast where the 50 unit radius is (after all it is an approaching meteor) and thus allows it to be avoided with quick reflexes.

The true damage is only applied for those hit within the 50 unit radius and is applied on current health, and thus gets weaker the lower the health.

Sol's Wrath is much darker than Sol's Fury in color.

OTHER NOTES This ability may be seen as a copy of Veigar's W. This is not what I was going for and I apologize in advance. Since it is a meteor it was hard not to have some similarity to Veigar's Dark Matter in that it crashes to the ground at target location. Other than that they are different in a variety of ways. Color, Size (roughly Zael's meteor is bigger), Damage, and Effects. So please keep this in mind when judging this ability. Especially since there are abilities that are similar already in league, but do different things as well. Thanks.

W http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/resource_images/16/icons_15492_btn.jpg Storm Hand Zael channels lightning through his fingers into the ground before him in an increasing 400 unit cone and sending him in the opposite direction for 200 units. Enemies caught in the lightning take 40/60/80/100/120 (+30% AP).

Mana Cost: 40/45/50/55/60 Cooldown: 16/14/12/10/8s

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/resource_images/12/icons_11623_btn.jpg Storm Claw Attuned version of Storm Hand.

Those struck by Storm Claw have their armor and magic resist sundered for 5/7/10/13/15% for 3s. Storm Claw overloads, causing an electrical storm in the area causing the lightning to stay in the area for 1/1.5/2/2.5/3s after being cast causing 10/20/30/40/50 (+10% AP) in magic damage every 0.5s to those within the electricity.

NOTES This is Zael's main utility spell allowing for escape. The Attuned version is excellent to help teammates rip through the enemy with a well placed Storm Claw. An excellent kiting tool for Zael's who find themselves in melee.

Storm Hand looks like blue crackling electricity, but Storm Claw is a lot more "dense" having more electricity in the area and instead of pure blue it now crackles with purple in it.

Animation Description/Explanation This ability may sound confusing with the wording I gave it. I hope this helps: Upon activation a cone appears locked on Zael (like Talon's Rake). Activating has Zael shoot lightning in that direction which causes him to be sent backwards and for lightning to shoot out of the ground starting at the base of the cone (near to Zael) then proceeds to extend the full length of the ability. This allows time to move out of its way. Much like how Viktors Death Ray takes time to reach its full length. Hopefully that gave an insight to this abilities mechanics.

If any of you have played Kingdoms of Amalur and used a Mage or Staff then you know a similar animation. It is much like the end combo of the Staff's regular attack (where it sends out all that magic in the pyramid like pattern). It is a combination of that and the Chakram escape move. For those who know. For those who don't then I hope my other explanation worked.

E http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/resource_images/12/icons_11891_btn.jpg Icy Winds Zael channels for 0.5s before sending an icy wind in target 600 unit direction and freezing those caught in the wind slowing them by 10/15/20/25/30% for 3s. These winds are so cold they stay in the area freezing the ground for the next 2/4/6/8/10s. Those that pass through this area become slowed as well.

Mana Cost: 70/75/80/85/90 Cooldown: 20s Width: Icy and Arctic Winds both have a width of 300 units.

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/resource_images/7/icons_6712_btn.jpg Arctic Winds Attuned version of Icy Winds.

These winds become so cold that they are continually slowed while inside the storm and enemies caught inside the storm after 3s become stunned for 1/1.2/1.3/1.4/1.5s.

NOTES This ability is Zael's main support spell and one that allows good combos of his abilities. This combined with W followed by a Q can cause serious damage to the enemy. The combined effects allow for serious control in the field and of the lane. Casting E at an enemy followed by their W to weaken their magic resist and a Q to hit right after allows for an almost assured hit and serious damage.

This ability is also good to use in a team fight to slow enemies down and rain artillery from the skies. Attuned spells allow for bad team fights to quickly turn in favor of Zael with a well placed E, W, Q or E, Q combo.

Icy Winds is snow being blown across the area by wind. Arctic Winds is denser, bigger snow being blown across the area. The sound from Icy Winds to Arctic Winds also becomes stronger.

R Zael's ultimate has two unique effects. A passive that allows close-medium range stealth detection, and an active skillshot beam which creates a prison.

Seers Sight Passive Invisible enemies and traps are revealed to Zael within a 500 unit radius of them. An exclamation point is put over Zael's head if an enemy is nearby within a bush. Zael has to be within 500 units of the bush for this to take effect. Silence status nullifies this passive during its duration due to Zaels sight being magical and Silencing Zael is like cutting them off from their powers.

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/resource_images/14/icons_13981_btn.jpg Oblivion Gate Active Upon activation four apparitions that look like casters in flowing robes and masks appear, two to each side of Zael. Together they cast a beam in target 700 unit direction. Upon contact with an Enemy Champion or at max range a 500 unit circular prison appears. The end of the beam is the center of the prison if it doesn't connect with an Enemy Champion. If it connects with an Enemy Champion then they are the center of the prison.

Those caught inside the prison are trapped and cannot escape unless Zael's channel is stopped. Anyone can walk into the prison, and if that is an enemy then they are now trapped as well. Those within the prison can still attack, cast abilities, and move within the prison. Once the prison is cast, Zael and the apparitions begin channeling for 1.5s. During this time a black hole above and below the prison forms. Upon completing the channel the top black hole descends instantly.

Upon both black holes colliding, those within the prison take 100/200/300 (+100% AP) and disappear to oblivion (becoming untargetable) for 0.5s before reappearing at the same location they were previously at.

Moving causes the ability to detonate prematurely causing the prison to explode dealing only half damage and not sending the enemies to oblivion. Becoming silenced, stunned, or killed breaks the prison instantly causing no damage. Being knocked up, knocked back, or charmed breaks the prison, but causes it to explode causing half damage. Being snared or blinded does not interrupt the ability. If this ability is interrupted its cooldown is put at 80s.

The beam goes through enemy minions causing 25/50/75 (+10% AP) worth of damage for every 0.5s they stay within the beam.

Mana Cost: 100/125/150 Cooldown: 150/130/110s

http://www.hiveworkshop.com/forums/resource_images/10/icons_9867_btn.jpg Oblivion Passage Attuned Version of Oblivion Gate.

Oblivion Passage leaves marks from the other dimension causing 5/7/10% AP magic damage every 0.5s for the next 3s.

NOTES The icons are the closest I could find to what I was hoping for. The color fits what the prison is almost, but it doesn't show the true prison or the beam to which it is attached to. So instead I use icons that represent the symbol for each, or close to the symbol. I do apologize for the lack of a good icon.

Also, this ability is a dumbed down version of the one used to trap the orb in Zaels lore.

The prison looks like two aquamarine colored circles with dark purple interwtined, one on the floor, and the other above in the air. Connecting these are bars of the same color all around them. The black holes look like dark circles with stars twinkling in them. Upon collapsing they collide and let out a "boom" and then they explode outwards like a supernova.

Teleports, flashing, dashes, switching (azir and urgot, looking at you :P), or anything that would allow a champion to escape the prison will always fail and in fact be blocked by the prison. Once inside you cannot leave if you are an enemy, but you can enter the prison, so beware. Only silences, stuns, charms, knock ups, and knock backs will break the prison and free those inside. Those inside can still attack and move while inside and cast abilities so they aren't helpless. This allows them to try and silence Zael or do enough damage to kill them before the cast is finished.

Quotes and Stuff "There is a darkness coming..." Upon selection.

Attacking "Feel natures fury!" "Must we fight?" "If we must, then so be it." "Burn!" Casting any form of Sol. "Electrify!" Casting any form of Storm. "Freeze!" Casting any form of Wind. "There's bigger issues..." "If I must." "Out of my way!" "To Oblivion!" Casting Oblivion Gate. "Elemental Might!" Upon any spell cast except for Oblivion Gate.

Moving "A breeze on the wind...such a lovely day." "It's so peaceful..." While no enemies are around and they're standing idle. Neutral monsters don't count as enemies since they're not hostile until you attack them. "Danger is around the corner. I must move." "The darkness draws ever closer..." "I must make haste!" "Onwards, I must rejoin them," When moving towards allied champions. "Push them back!" When moving toward fleeing enemy champions. "They're on the run!" When an enemy champion runs away. "Quickly, show them our might!" When chasing a fleeing enemy champion. "Our allies are in danger!" When moving towards allies who are fighting enemy champions.

Quotes "We must band together if we are to win," Calm voice towards either Valen or Zoth on the same team. "Now is not the time to squabble amongst ourselves," Annoyed voice towards Zoth or Valen on the opposite team. "My lady Karma, you show admirable clarity." "My, my. Aren't you an energetic one." Ryze interaction based upon him reaching 2500+ mana and upon him activating his ultimate while near Zael. "I sense...darkness in you, but not like the darkness which is coming." Towards those who are void touched. "Your skill with a sword is...astounding," Awed voice towards Fiora. "I hope I can count on your wisdom and sword when the darkness finally arrives," Towards Master Yi. "Your wars...it only weakens you for the final blow. Please, come to your senses." Towards Demacian and Noxian forces. More prominent if Darius, Garen, Jarvan, or Swain are on either team, and more so if on opposite teams. "Your power is immense, but at what cost?" Towards Xerath. "Your skill...the way you move...Breathtaking." Admiration towards Riven. "I see your master as taught you well," Towards Wukong. "You know they are there...with you, right?" A question aimed at Zoth or Valen, and even both should they be together in the match. A reference to their beloveds who Zael can see next to them due to Zael's power.

There are more, but these are but a few interactions.

Friends Zoth , Valen , Karma Enemies The Darkness and those who perpetuate the war.

Zael holds no allegiance to anyone, and so takes no part in their war, and instead fights in hopes that they will unite everyone when the time comes. Zael respects Karma in that Karma has achieved what people back in Zaels home call "The Singularity". It is a oneness of body, mind, spirit, and everything of the world. In other words, Enlightenment. Zael respects her for this. For Zael, Zoth and Valen hold a part in the coming darkness as they too were touched and impacted by it. That Zael's vision showed them to be men of worth and great promise in the coming battles is enough for Zael to befriend them, and in turn they trust Zael for some strange reason and work together with them against whatever force is coming.

Possible Item builds

  1. item 3027 item 3089 item 3174 item 3135 item 3020 item 3157
  2. item 3027 item 3151 item 3116 item 3040 item 3020 item 3165
  3. item 3027 item 3285 item 3152 item 3115 item 3001 item 3020

And of course you could mix and match various items here. These are just examples. The Rod of Ages is a must for most the builds due to how squishy Zael is normally, and with the extra health and the heal on level ups it helps Zael survive a lot long, and same with the other health items. Feel free to make your own builds of course. These are after all just examples.

There you have Zael, the Displaced Magicite! I hope you enjoyed. Please leave constructive feedback if you have any, and feel free to converse with me about things as I will most likely do so. Any questions feel free to ask! If you have nothing but hate however, you can take that elsewhere. I accept feedback and criticism, but not outright hate and rudeness. You can talk things calmly over with me, or you can leave.

I appreciate those who took their time here and if you liked Zael then please upvote or leave a comment if you wish! Thank you! ^_^

I do want people to remember, this is simply a draft. Things can be changed within the confines of Zael's identity for their kit. I understand that some things might not fit, and they might need revising, but that's the beauty of this board. So, once again, thank you for your time. ^_^

18 Comments

Vanic9981 votes

+1 pour toi! Very detailed! It's a good thing he doesn't get a stack of his passive on an assist! Have a look at mine! Zolt, The Anti Mana

Nikushimi Zero1 votes

Bumping once since this got buried pretty fast. Give me feedback if you wish or vote appropriately up or down. Thank you.

toZenToArgue1 votes

I really loved your ideia and the awesome art design. It is very sad that this community didn't upvoted it as deserved. As a digital artist who has posted here a few big time consuming paintings with so little feedback, I know the feeling.. Wish you the best of luck on your ideia to get successful. You got my upvote :)

Nikushimi Zero2 votes

I appreciate the upvote and support! Much appreciated.

However, I must say that the art is not mine. I wish I was good a drawing and designing characters. I only come up with the ideas for my champions in my head, and try to find the best representation through using google images. So the credit for the art should go to whoever the artist is. Unfortunately I do not know.

Again though, thank you for the support! ^_^

Hakan Akdemir1 votes

As a mid laner main, I'd love a champion like Zael. I belive he/she/it (lol) is amazing because of the abilities and combos I imagined I could use. But, nerf passive pls. Let me know if I got it well... Is it like cassiopeia? Those stacks are permanent? I didn't get that part at all. Because if it is, such an op passive. If not, if you can use it only with the next spell, I think it should be stacked faster. Dunno, just some thoughts. But in general, amazing concept dude.

Nikushimi Zero1 votes

Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate that you like Zael.

As for the passive. No, it is not a permanent thing. It works much like item 3041 in that when you die you lose part of the stacks. In this case, as stated in the passive, the stacks are halved upon death. That's one reason why it is easier to gain stacks because you lose a lot upon dying.

Zael works well in that they combo well with their abilities and play well off other champions who can lock down opponents, but not so much on those that are more maneuverable around the field.

The key to Zael's passive is to survive long enough to gain 100 stacks.

So, yes. It gives bonuses like Cassiopeia, but instead of being permanent (like Cass's passive) Zael's passive stacks are halved when dying until they have no stacks if they die a lot.

Hope that answered some questions and concerns about the passive.

Hakan Akdemir1 votes

Yep, doubt gone. Thank you very much! Hope someday we'd be able to see this concept on live!

Nikushimi Zero1 votes

I kinda wish there was a workshop thing where you could go in and they would have templates for 3d models and from there you could choose different looks and and movement. Then you could choose the a base for abilities and passives then add effects for them and such. After that you could actually test it out in a game against bots or something.

That'd be pretty cool. So at least you could test them out and see how they play.

Hakan Akdemir1 votes

I completely agree with that too. Still, there must be an app for that somewhere, I mean, people create their own costume skins. Why can't we create our own costume champions? Just for testing, of course haha

Nikushimi Zero1 votes

Exactly. Have like some kind of workshop that people can use to create champions and other concepts, but for testing and design. I think that would be amazing.

cinomenapplebae1 votes

Maybe make them one gender since i see alot of people having trouble of saying "them" for kindred and some people get bothered by it

Nikushimi Zero1 votes

Well, they aren't wrong since Zael is of neither and of both at the same time.

Yes, Zael prefers they, them, their when being referred to, but it states in Zaels lore "For simplicities sake and that of conversation and documents it didn't matter."

Zael, and those like them (though there aren't any from Zaels world anymore...) had the ability to morph into one or the other, and Zael preferred a neutral form that denoted features from both.

So as long as when they talk about Zael they know what Zael is and are not being insulting when talking about Zael it matters not whether they say she or he. I prefer they, them, their, and Zael does too, but for simplicities sake it is not a huge issue as long as it is not insulting. Slip ups are alright since it wasn't intentional, but for how people want to refer to Zael is their choice. They, them, their is preferred, but as long as it isn't insulting or just for simplicity she or he is acceptable.

As for Kindred....well, it depends on who they are referring to. The archer is a woman while the wolf is a man. Though they is preferable it is not a huge issue since technically they aren't wrong.

ModEchoing1 votes

Ability artwork is always neat.

You hamstring the whole asexual bit by referring to Zael as male during the lore. If you're not consistent with pronouns, it's meaningless.

Your passive is straight-up overpowered, offering oodles of free stats, including the otherwise-ridiculously-rare spell vamp, just for hitting things. Not even champion things, just things. It makes you literally impossible to dislodge in the lane due to regenerating all your mana much faster, hitting the other guy even harder, and getting all your health back from the spell vamp. Holy cow. Just gut it and replace it with something else.

The Q doesn't need to deal true damage. It's also not really artillery range at 700 - Xerath outranges you with literally all his spells. It's also honestly ludicrous with its vacuum effect at max attunement (which is going to happen easily), adding way too much CC in conjunction with the E.

The W, meanwhile, shouldn't even be on the kit. It has no relation to anything you're trying to do and just exists to cover a logical weakness.

I don't know about the width of the E, but that is still a crazy huge area to cover with a slowing effect, on par with a more-spammable Braum ult. The duration scaling is incredibly off, as well - I'd expect it going from 4 to 6, maybe, but not 2 to 10.

The ult should not require three paragraphs to describe it. If you can't get it done in one paragraph, either it's too complicated and you need to trim off the parts that don't matter, or you're using too many words and you need to trim off the parts that don't matter. As an example of what it would look like:

Fires a beam out to 700 range, creating a circular prison centered either at the end point or the first enemy champion hit. Channels for 1.5 seconds while the prison is up, allowing anyone inside but preventing enemies from leaving. At the end of the channel, deals damage and briefly makes all enemies hit untargetable.

Brevity is the soul of wit and not getting docked points because someone misunderstood what you were saying.

The ult doesn't need to make people untargetable, by the way. It also doesn't need separate conditional effects for breaking the channel depending on the CC being used - that creates inconsistent feedback and a silly burden of knowledge on the other players. It should just cancel the whole thing if your channel is broken.

You could probably make your champion work once you removed the passive and gave the ult another runthrough. Focus more on what, exactly, you want to bring to the team with this champion. If it's just raw damage, you're now in competition with every other mage, but especially Brand, Vel'Koz, and Xerath. That's bad - they do it better than you. You know, barring the passive.

Which is broken.

If nothing else, please replace it.

Nikushimi Zero1 votes

First, I wanna say thank you for the feedback! It's much appreciated!

Now, as for breaking the whole hamstringing the asexuality thing. I used she and he once to convey that though people get them mixed up it matters not to Zael because they understand that for simplicities sake it might happen in conversations and on documents. Though preferably Zael does prefer they, them, and their.

The passive. It was meant to definitely be a sustain for an otherwise extremely squishy mage. Zael is after all really weak in terms of defenses. Zael differs from other mages in that they are a big snowballer, and while being a big snowballer the downside is that it can also backfire on them as the snowball rolls back onto Zael. Thus the having of the passive upon dying. Though I can of course adjust the passive and or recreate it to still portray it, but in a different way. I will have to go to the thinking table to decide on where to go.

The Q. The reason why I state it is artillery is the fact of how Zael can use it to attack relatively fast from a distance dealing big damage. Yes, it isn't Xerath ult worthy, but that's the thing. It's not an ult and giving it a Xerath range on a regular ability would be incredibly hard to counter except to dodge the incoming hail of magic.

The true damage of the Q is meant to be a burning effect that is stronger than normal, but only if you're in the middle of the strike to convey Sol's Fury/Wrath (since Sol is The Sun in Latin and the sun is pretty hot). Though this can either be removed or replaced with regular magic damage over time.

The CC is something I also should change a bit. State that the pull cannot effect enemies that have already been pulled within a set amount of time or something so as it can't be horribly spammable. I myself loathe being CC'd over and over already by some of the champions. There was one time a long time ago I was against a lux and Morg....It was nothing but snares left and right one after the next. Literally. Lux would snare you then morg, and then lux's would be off CD so it'd start over again. It was literally an infinite snare. Annoying, so I can definitely see if there is no buffer time on the pull then it would get completely ridiculous.

The W. It definitely does have to do with what I am trying to portray. A fast powerhouse mage. Able to deal good-massive AoE damage while moving about the map fairly quickly, but is extremely weak if caught in close quarters or in any sort of damage from anything. A glass cannon pretty much.

The W also plays off the theme I was going for. An elemental mage with their main 3 abilities. Hence Fire, lightning, and Ice. The W also plays off the kit in that it allows Zael to get distance and cast either his Q or E for a follow up and facilitate an escape should Zael find themselves in a tricky situation. This is especially useful at full attunement as allows for bigger damage on the follow up spells. It also works quite well to E then W with a follow up Q as the E and W would make a Icy Lightning storm and the Q would rain fire while they are caught in it. The W is definitely made to help set these combos off.

Though I can possibly think of another ability that will still fit this theme I went for, but I'm not entirely sure what.

The E. I will admit that at the time I though that at max rank that 10s would be alright due to the high levels in which everyone would be at that point, and it could just be avoided. Since the skill does absolutely no damage it could easily stay in place for that long, but perhaps it is quite a long time to slow an are even if it is only one effect. I could possibly think of lowering it, and I just might.

The E is definitely the most useful of Zaels abilities to combo as it helps keep enemies in range.

Speaking of the range of the E. You know what Rumble's ult is right? It has a cast radius of 1700 and the ability itself is 1000 units long. My E is much like Rumbles ult in that it is a straight line, but 400 units shorter, and roughly the same width. My E also deals no damage whereas Rumbles does.

I used Rumbles ult just as a reference since that is about the closest ability in league to my E in terms of width and length.

The ult....Yes, I could of definitely shortened the entire thing to one paragraph. The reason I didn't is because a lot of people get confused on my abilities. Hence why I usually leave "Notes" but for my ults I tend to explain them in the exact order that things happen.

Though, short form my Ultimate is a beam that goes through everything but champions and becomes a prison upon contact with an enemy champion or at the end of its length. Enemies inside become trapped while Zael channels, and can move, cast, and attack while inside but cannot leave. Moving and CC which moves Zael interrupts it and causes it to explode, dealing half damage. CC which completely nullifies Zael which does not include moving them destroys the prison with no damage. Blind and Snares do not stop the channel. Upon collapse of the black holes enemies disappear and then reappear during which they are untargetable.

That is the short form. I detailed it because the specifics to the ability are needed to explain how it works. Think of it like when you click on the "More info" tab in the wiki for abilities and it lists things that can and cannot happen, etc. with the ability.

In game it would simply beam "Zael casts a beam in target direction dealing damage to Minions along its path. Upon hitting an enemy champion or the end of its length the beam creates a prison which traps enemies. Zael then channels for 1.5s. After the channel enemies inside are dealt damage."

Then of course there would be the extra info such as for the next version of the ability. "At max attunement this ability burns enemies dealing damage over time."

There are abilities with a lot more to read than mine, but of course it would be short formed. I simply detailed so as to explain the workings of it. It's rather simple in short form. Though then I'd get questions of "Can you flash out? How long does it last? Can people walk into it? Can you get interrupted? Does it do damage even if interrupted?" Etc. etc. I've gotten these questions before which is why I try to explain in detail what the ability does and how it does it. Especially for ults.

I know it was long to read. Sorry D: But I thank you for the feedback. Definitely things I will take into account and if I have the time or remember, will implement after the CCOS since I tend no to change anything after I entered.

Hairzo1 votes

Lore - It is a descent lore, I enjoyed a large portion of it and was hooked all the way through. Good, solid description and flow, with a cool underlying tone left me wanting more. It is, however, a really overused trope of someone being born with ultimate power, before having it awakened, but I think you handled it very well.

Passive - This is down right OP. You first get that cooldown reduction which is really strong, meaning he doesnt really need to consider going cooldown reduction masteries or anything, and can just take full damage. Secondly, you gain an extremely large amount of spellvamp, with that cooldown passive, and high damage, meaning you are going to be nion impossible to kill. If you are good, you will never really have to bother about losing half stacks upon death, because you just get it all your life back with the spell vamp. You also have ludicrous magic penetration which is so powerful o. Overall, this passive needs to be nerfed pronto.

Q - Practically all your abilities will become OP because of your passive. Anyways, being able to deal 10% current health damage is super strong over 3 seconds. Inately, damage over time is more annoying to a player than straight out burst, even though it is more balanced. However, this will completely wrck the front line of any game, and will make you immortal if you just use this at the beginning of a fight. the upgraded version is also really powerful, giving some pretty strong CC, even if you dont get them with within the 50 range for the extra damage.

W - With your ridiculous damage, you don't deserve to have mobility. you can get the strong CC with up Q, and this just gives you better kiting potential, which should be a MAJOR!!! weakness in his kit. The upgraded version is also really powerful. If you incorporate a crystal scepter, he has even better kiting. With the passive also making him unkillable, you are always going to have the upgraded abilities. This is just insane.

E - Once again with the kite. If you have a 400 movement speed champion being slowed by like 30%, that goes down to like 280 movement speed. You are going to be slowing them for 2.5 seconds if they want to chase you. With the upgraded version, that is pretty much 100% stun portential. I feel you didn't have a good ground when designing Zael. You just wanted to make a cool champ with cool abilities, without ever thinking about balance, flow/fun, and thematics.

R - This is a cool ability, but in conunction with the res of your kit, it provides, literally, perma snare. If you have crystal scepter, with 45% cooldown reduction and upgraded abilities, you have a 3 second meteor, with an extremely long lasting slowing field, and slowing lightning. If you need, you can just cast this to get your cooldowns back. Don't get me wrong, bad abilities are healthy for the game. Being locked down by a warick with very little counterplay 1v1 is annoying, but that means you might have to build a Qss, and play differently. Because of the way you describe it, it isnt a debuff, so it can't be qss'd, they have to flash out of it.

Overall, you really need to turn this champion down big time. Either nerf the passive or COMPLETELY remove it and make a new one.

Nikushimi Zero1 votes

First, thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it and love that you liked the lore. Zael is linked to two other champions, and fourth one once I get around to it.

Second, about what you said about not knowing what direction I wanted to go with Zael. I did. It may have just come across differently than I had hoped. My hope was for a very weak mage if you lock Zael down, or get even one stun on them, they're done. Dead because of their low defenses. So, because of that I gave them some decent sustain and CC to keep enemies at range, but once someone gets through or gets anything on Zael, Zael is going to die. That was what I was going for with Zael. While their abilities are quite good with combos and mobility, his defense is just too weak to stand anywhere near another champion. Most ranged champions will tear through Zael because of this weakness.

Also, I want to state that I will most likely be reworking Zael after the CCOS is finished.

Anyways, onto everything. Let me explain what I was going for.

The Passive. I'll admit when I was making this I tweaked the numbers so much so as to not make it too strong, and it ended up being too strong in peoples eyes. I think my problem was wanting their passive to give CDR, Movement Speed, Spellvamp (sustain), Mana Regen, and Magic Penetration in a unique way that would require Zael to work for it. The combos with their abilities would allow for a relatively decent way to acquire the stacks, but it seems that perhaps they are too strong. Though the passive was initially supposed to give Zael good damage and sustain due to being very weak defensively. I do disagree that it would give all of his health back, but then again we have champions like that already. Cassiopeia is one such champion who can get all her health back, but she is also very weak defensively.

The Q. Albeit it I wanted this to be a fast casting spell with decent damage, but a way to dodge it since it IS telegraphed much like Veigar's W is. At max ranks of the passive I wanted to give the powered version the CC because I was originally going to just give it to the original ability, but knew that'd be too strong so I made it so it had to be worked for. The percent health damage may seem strong, but it is quite a small amount in comparison to what people might think since each tick gets weaker and weaker because it is current health and not maximum health. Though, looking at it, I can see why people think it is quite strong. Though the damage of the meteor is quite weak comparatively to lets say Brands Q, Veigar's W, or Karma's Q. All of which have higher base damage and higher scaling. It is the effects which I think people are seeing here that make it strong in their eyes.

The W. I was going for an escape utility due to, once again, Zael's defensive weaknesses. It also allowed Zael to hit harder with his Q which has low damage, but good CC. Zael cannot be caught in a fight, or Zael will die even with the damage he can do. The lightning is also extremely dodgeable as it works much like Viktor's laser. It starts at one point and then goes forward. Being able to dodge it quite easily. As for the whole unkillable passive...It doesn't make him unkillable. Just gives him good sustain much like Darius has sustain with his spin, Cass has sustain with her poison, and Raka has sustain with her heals. It makes them difficult to kill, but not unkillable. This ability merely allows Zael some escape as that is pretty much all it is used for. Yeah, it can be used to get over walls, but one false W and you're in the middle of the enemy team and you're dead. Perhaps I can see why though that people think what they think.

The E. It has quite the long cooldown. I want to say that first and foremost because it does. It deals no damage and only thing it is used for is to help Zael set up his Q's a lot better since they take a while to land and most champions, unless they're slow as a rock (no pun intended towards Malphite), they will easily dodge the incoming Q's. As for the easy to kite....this is a channeled ability. Easily seen before cast and can be countered by attacking Zael or moving. Most champions caught in the blast can flash out if they are within the empowered version so as to avoid the stun. Tanks with the Banshee's veil can simply shrug off the slow and get out, and spell shields such as morganna will stop such effects. So while it allows for better kiting and escape, it takes time to cast and does no damage. Overall though I am planning on redoing this ability to possibly having a 1s cast time instead.

The Ult. I am glad you enjoy the ult. However, one thing you must know. During the ult, Zael cannot cast ANYTHING else or they will break the channel. So even if their abilities are off cd, they cannot cast them. Doing so will end the ult early. As for flashing out...no. They cannot. Once an enemy is caught in the prison there is no way to escape. Teleports, flashes, dashes, etc. do not allow exiting. Only breaking Zael's link with the ultimate will stop the channel. This is because of how vulnerable it makes Zael during this time. Even allies cannot enter the prison to attack in melee range. So while the enemies are trapped, they can still attack and move within the prison, but cannot escape, and most abilities which can break Zael's link with the ult are well within the range Zael would be when channeling. Since this is such a long channel Zael's concentration has a long time to be broke so as to be avoided, and if Zael only gets one enemy champion, or two, that leaves three others outside the prison to destroy Zael since Zael cannot break the channel or they will end the ult early.

Overall, I do need to rework Zael. I had a clear idea, but I'm not sure I got that across well enough. Once the CCOS is done I will be working on a reworked version of Zael and re-releasing them.

So, thank you for the feedback! It gave me much to think about! ^_^

Hairzo1 votes

I think I just got so carried away with how powerful the passive is. You say that the abilities are fine, which i agree to an extent, but the passive itself makes them ludicrously strong. He doesnt need to build CDR and go just go for straight damage. He already has massive amount of CDR, and spell vamp. So he can just regen a lot of life. What i was saying about the Q max health damage, is that if you get it off on an enemy tank at full health at 4000 health, thats 400 damage with 1 ability before mr, which has been obliterated from the passive. You also get like 150 health back for like nothing. Mind you this is only the max health damage.

I look foward to the re work, gl in CCOS

Nikushimi Zero1 votes

Well, I don't think the abilities are exactly where they should be, but that they are definitely weaker than other abilities in league already. It is when everything is combined that it makes Zael strong offensively, but weak defensively.

The damage over time of course is a very, very precise hit box, and so it is easy to avoid. I definitely understand the concern on it though. This was an ability I went over many times. At first I was going to make it a basic attack amplifier which shoots a fireball at target, pulls in a radius, and deals damage over time, but I didn't want Zael to be AA based so I made it a meteor instead and added the burning damage for the very center of the hitbox. Thinking on it now, even though it is a very small radius to cause that damage, it is still true damage. I kinda wanted an ignite spell, but one that got weaker the less health the opponent had. Hence why I based it off current health rather than maximum.

Tanks though would take more damage from this, of course since they have more health, but the impact would already damage them leaving less health to take away if they were in the center. So that 4000 health would be about 3700-3800 depending on the hit, but yeah. They would still take more damage. I wanted a powerhouse mage who was really weak up close and defensively. Though I admit that I may have gone overboard.

So, I will be looking at Zael again. I want all of these concepts in the story I am making to be good. Valen was my best, and Zoth was kinda inbetween. I wanted Zael to be on par, but it seems no one enjoys Zael as much as I had hoped. So a rework is definitely in order after the CCOS.

Speaking of, thank you for the good luck. Though, I don't think I'll be placing within the top picks. Who knows though.

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