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Alice, the Black Star

Secluded Death··18 votes·3,482 views

http://cp14.nevsepic.com.ua/223/22213/1396290301-54-197.jpg

#LORE»

When those who mention the mysterious being known as Alice, only speculation can tell her tale.

A great explosion rocked Runeterra late one night and Alice emerged from the smoking crater before its steps. She calmly ascended and politely requested to join the League. The summoners were amazed and baffled by her manner of arrival as well as her appearance. Her strange clothing flowed around her like liquid air. Her hair was dark, yet it glowed with the intensity of a star. Her black eyes were gentle, but their red centers were piercing. Her very presence instilled both fear and comfort. Despite all of this, her most distinguishing feature was a dark number “Fourteen” splayed across her back. Alice was allowed Judgment and astonished all by having one of the shortest in League history. The moment she revealed her reason to join the League to the High Councilman, the doors of acceptance opened before her, beckoning her to the Fields of Justice.

Rumors of Alice'’s origins spread like wildfire once she demonstrated her skills in battle for the first time. The most popular of the rumors say she is a member of an ancient race called the Folkvar. This alien race took it upon themselves to watch over the worlds of the universe. Rumors say Alice was charged with Runeterra. For eons, she watched over the creatures of the world, ensuring their safety from each other as well as outside threats. However, once Runeterra discovered magic, it became harder and harder to keep them in check. Eventually, control was lost and the Rune Wars damaged the lands almost beyond repair. Rumors continue saying that as punishment for her failures, Alice was stripped of her rank and banished to the world she failed to protect, only to return when all was made right. Other rumors says that she is an ancient spirit of the arcane, awoken by the volatile energies of the Rune Wars. Attracted by all the powerful champions at the Institute, Alice has come for herself to test her own abilities against them. Alice herself has neither confirmed nor denied any of these rumors.

"Promise shines greater than the dark. I am here to ensure that it doesn't." -Alice

#STATISTICS»

≈ Attack:         ■■■■□□□□□□ ≈ Defense:      ■■■□□□□□□□ ≈ Ability:         ■■■■■■■□□□ ≈ Difficulty:     ■■■■■■□□□□

≈ Intended Role: Fighter/Mage

≈ Health: 535 (+89/level) ≈ Health Regen.: 6.5 (+0.7/level)

≈ Mana: 240 (+40/level) ≈ Mana Regen.: 9 (+0.5/level)

≈ Attack Damage: 56.5 (+3.5/level) ≈ Attack Speed: 0.665 (+3.3%/level)

≈ Armor: 23.8 (+3.6/level) ≈ Magic Resist: 30 (+1.25/level)

≈ Movement Speed: 345 ≈ Attack Range: 150 (Melee)

#ABILITIES» http://imgur.com/MlckEhh ≈ Innate: Idiosyncrasy

Using an ability grants Alice a ring around her that provides a buff based on that ability. When all the ring slots are filled, they disappear after 10 seconds. 3 rings of the same color grant a 5% bonus and 4 rings of the same color grant an additional 5% to the buff. Alice can have up to 3 rings (4 rings when Ultimate is maxed).

Q: Grants a green ring providing 5% spellvamp. W: Grants a yellow ring providing 5% attack speed. E: Grants a red ring providing 5% lifesteal.

Additionally, maxed abilities provide a permanent buff to Alice: Q: MS and AS +10% W: AD and AP +10% E: AR Pen and MR Pen +10% R: Max Rings +1

http://imgur.com/YzxuyxK ≈ Q: Surge

Alice's exoskeleton isn't an exterior piece of armor; it is a part of her. As a connection to her own body, she can command it at will as well as enhance her own abilities.

First and Second Cast: Alice cuts through the air with her hand like a blade dealing damage to enemies in a short, but wide, cone. Third Cast: Alice slashes twice with increased spellvamp using her mechanical vertebrae allowing her to siphon some of the damage she dealt straight into her system.

Surge does not interfere with movement, attacking, or abilities and is a point-blank cast.

• Range: 225° cone; 225 units long • 1st/2nd Cast Damage: 45/60/75/90/105 (+60% AP)(+60% Bonus AD) physical damage • 3rd Cast Max. Damage 90/120/150/180/210 (+120% AP)(+120% Bonus AD) magic damage • Bonus Spellvamp on 3rd Cast: 15% • Cost: 35/40/45/50/55 Mana • CD: 8/7/6/5/4 seconds

http://imgur.com/RZmnPHN ≈ W: Ghost

Using the energy from within her own body, Alice can conjure artificial weapons, gear, and even images of herself.

The next ability Alice uses within 6 seconds creates an afterimage in her place. The afterimage will mimic the ability after 0.5 seconds.

Alice can have up to 2 Ghosts active at one time.

• Mimic Damage: 45/50/55/60/65% • Cost: 60/70/80/90/100 Mana • CD: 16/14/12/10/8 seconds

http://imgur.com/bC1dTIW ≈ E: Warp Drive

Alice has the ability to manipulate space. The immense amount of energy it requires only allows her to sustain space-manipulation for just a few moments, but in these short bursts of freedom she is unaffected by even time itself.

Alice uses a Warp Drive charge and blinks to the target location dealing damage to enemies in between. Enemy units are dealt the damage instantly while enemy champions are dealt the damage after a 1.5 second delay. Charges: 2

Warp Sickness: The range of the next Warp Drive is halved if it isn't fully charged.

Alice gains a new charge of Warp Drive every 12/11.25/10.5/9.75/9 seconds.

• Range: 550 units long; 75 units wide • Damage: 55/80/105/130/155 (+45% AP) magic damage • Cost: 60 Mana • CD: None

http://imgur.com/v5hz4mC ≈ R: Nova

The description for this ability is completely unknown. Do not pursue.

Alice creates an anomaly in target area. After 0.75 seconds, enemies in the area are dealt damage and are inflicted with Molecular Degradation for 2 seconds. If Nova hits an enemy with Molecular Degradation, that enemy is pulled to the center and can't be pulled again.

If Nova damages an enemy, it will strike the same location after 0.75. This can reoccur multiple times.

• Cast Range: 1000/1400/1800 • AoE Range: 275 • Damage: 180/260/340 (+80% AP) magic damage • Cost: 120 Mana • CD: 90 seconds

#CCOS CHALLENGE: Two Truths, One Lie!

Which one of these is not true about Alice? This is the first time I have visited Runeterra. I have survived disintegration. I cannot see color.

52 Comments

Bubbarush98 votes

First thing i noticed about the name. Alice, the Black Star. Alice Star. Alistar

Secluded Death1 votes

I assure you, completely unintended!

bluegolisano1 votes

gasp good cover.

Booleans3 votes

I have some problems with her kit. Sustain in a kit is usually reserved for champions who will be in fights for extended periods of time aka junglers and top laners. Ahri and ryze are the only mages with spellvamp. I'm not gonna explain why the others don't, but ahri and ryze have it because all but one of their abilities can trigger the full effectiveness. Your champion will always trigger 1/3 effectiveness because every ability hits multiple targets. In addition, this kit has incredible burst potential so sustain really isn't necessary.

The W ghost reminds me of mimic. Firstly you should never remove the visual aspect of your abilities because that's what gives them counterplay. Enemies need to know what hit them and be given the opportunity to react to it. Secondly I don't see how a mimic is thematically relevant for an intergalactic demigod. If she shines as bright as a star, how can she become invisible?

Her ultimate is completely overpowered because it will infinitely proc on a single enemy who doesn't have high mobility, who will be continuously pulled toward the epicenter and dealt large amounts of damage over and over, unable to do anything because displacements prevent ability casting for their duration. The best way to fix this is to make sure the copy can't trigger more than once on the same enemy. 215% of the ults base damage on one target, let alone multiple, is more than enough.

Overall thematically, her ultimate and her e (although her e should be compared to kassadin or ezreal blink for better balance) are the only abilities that fit thematically with your champion. stars die over time, ending their lives with an implosion of great magnitude that gives off light 1000 times amplified. Stars are made of elements that are constantly fusing and diffusing, and when there's not enough left it dies. Stars cannot sustain themselves.

Mechanically, her kit is a mashup between jungler level sustain and an assassins burst, combined with mobility that can match kassadins ultimate. Her qwe encourage melee fighting, but her ultimate is ranged aoe. Her kit allows for free copy procs of her abilities, which I assume stacks rings for her passive, but her passive encourages her to continue spamming her abilities to maintain the bonuses. If she's a mana user, she's gonna have a hard time In lane. I can see her steamrolling for the first few minutes, then quickly running out of steam as she burns through her mana.

Secluded Death1 votes

I see what you are saying, but Alice's ability to stack a lot of spellvamp would counteract the 1/3rd effectiveness. 3 green rings will give her 20% spellvamp plus 15% on third Q strike +20% more from a completed spellvamp item adding up to 55% spellvamp divided by 3 (if that's how it works) giving her roughly 18%. After level 16, the total (with 4 spellvamp rings) is 65% giving her roughly 21% on the third Q. outside of her Q, she won't heal much, but she will be healing little by little. I don't want Alice to heal a lot of health, but the spellvamp from her main ability at least allows her to soak up a bit more damage; that's what I'm trying to accomplish, anyway.

I've read around and it seems the invisibility is a bit awkward. I was trying something new since every invisibility in the game becomes broken when using an ability (obviously for good reason). I'll remove the invisibility and take a step back to see how it will fit. To address how she can become invisible, when a star dies, there is a chance it becomes a black hole and black holes are devoid of light therefore not allowing the eyes to register what is there (which is why black holes can only be found by looking at the surroundings to my understanding) which is why Alice can be invisible.

Oh, right. Thanks for the catch on the ultimate, I should fix that!

Alice isn't really a "Star", just more described as one since her real nature/past is completely unknown. Her star-like properties are the only things that can be described about her considering she fell from the sky; it's all there is that can be perceived.

Thank you for the awesome review and input! I will definitely look Alice over with your suggestions both mechanically and thematically.

Svddenly1 votes

Also everything this guy said.

Sirsir3 votes

Seems like she may be from Kayles neck of the woods. Kind of like Kayle was a foot soldier and Alice was the one from that super secret branch that doesn't officially exist.

AntiSkillshot1 votes

{quoted}

Seems like she may be from Kayles neck of the woods. Kind of like Kayle was a foot soldier and Alice was the one from that super secret branch that doesn't officially exist.

Kayle was more of a Commander or General, than a foot soldier.

Sirsir1 votes

Fair point.

Kind of like Kayle was a General and Alice was the one from that super secret branch that doesn't officially exist.

bluegolisano1 votes

So, ONI?

Svddenly2 votes

So here's what I think:

Passive: Looked really cool until I saw the cooldowns on her abilities... She can't get three rings of the same color until (except E) level (presuming it's the ability you're maxing) level 5 (for Q) or level 9 (for W).

Q: Cooldown refresh feels out of place. Just reduce the cooldown. And make the bonus spellvamp on apply after she hits enemies twice (see: Yasuo's Q); not on the third cast.

W: Invisibly? How does that work with the blink? And when the blink recasts, does it go the same distance from where she lands, or does it hit the area?

E: Give it a cooldown. Don't care about charges. Give a 4 second cooldown. "non-refreshable?"

R: Give it a cap on how many times it can hit. Like 3/4/5. At the moment I could hit dragon while I have some spellvamp and just sit there. Waiting for drag to die.

Overall: Interesting concept.

Secluded Death1 votes

Passive: Sorry, I think I worded it wrong. Example: Using a Q gives her 5% spellvamp. When all her ring slots are filled, the rings will go away after 10 seconds. If she has a 3 of a kind or 4 of a kind, she gets the bonus +5% or +10% for the duration of those 10 seconds.

Q: I don't mind removing the reset, but why the change to the spellvamp?

W: Sorry, but I didn't understand. Could you elaborate on what you mean about the recast? If I'm assuming correctly, you are talking about what happens when she uses a second charge with the same clone, right? If that is the question, the clone will only mimic the first cast.

E: I like the charges, so I'm going to keep it. Do I not need to mention that its non-refreshable? This is to let you know that multiple casts (2 charges, 2 ghosts) won't stack the damage and apply it ALL after 1.5 seconds.

R: If you are talking about sitting AT dragon, you won't be able to have enough spellvamp to sustain the damage. If dragon moves away from your ult, the ult will be over and dragon will heal it back. Now, if you are talking about not being near Dragon and just popping your ult, I have tried this scenario and am still figuring out a way to prevent it. I don't want to put a cap on the reset because I want this ability to be scary. If you see the Nova and are in it, get out because it will keep hitting you. As for the Dragon scenario, maybe I'll put a limit on how many times it is allowed to hit an epic monster (Maybe.).

Thanks for the review. I'll be making various changes hopefully clearing some things up!

Svddenly1 votes

Alright.

Passive: Clarity change was good. But something to think about is that to get the full use out of the passive you have to not use your other abilities, which is a bit restricting. And not something to encourage in general.

Q: To make it less brainless. So that you actually have to hit stuff to get the benefit. Rewarding good play and all.

W: Her E, the blink. when it gets recast, does it use the same AoE? Or does it go out from the point at which you landed for the original blink.

E: I wasn't saying take away the charges. I was saying give the instant blink a cooldown.

R: Still needs a limit (for everything, not just epic monsters). Infinite damage is not healthy. Always include limits on things like this. What if I'm Taric without flash. I get hit by the second copy of the ult and get pulled back in. Then the third and get pulled back in. Then the fou- You get the idea. That would be an example of an anti-fun mechanic.

Secluded Death1 votes

Passive: Thank you. About the restrictiveness, using Ghost will stack the rings quickly. A Ghost + Q/W/E will give 2 rings. A double Ghost (with enough CDR) will give 3 rings. It isn't more of you don't get bonuses for not getting 3/4 of a kind, but rather you get BONUS benefits if you do rewarding you for organizing your spell casts. If you are playing organized, maybe you'll want to go a build path that utilizes autoattacks so you can stack the rings you want. This comes to Mage vs Fighter and which you want to be.

Q: Oh, ok. I'll think it over.

W: The same AoE. Alice goes from Point A to Point B then the ghost goes from Point A to Point B regardless of Alice's position.

E: I understand it is a double blink with no cooldown. I also understand it happens REALLY fast, but what I am asking you is why it should have a cooldown in between casts. You are suggesting a cooldown between charge uses, right?

R: With the changes I made to the way Diffusion works, Diffusion is consumed on 2nd hit (when pulled in) meaning on the third hit you won't get pulled again, but the 4th hit will pull. I hope this works better. I still am trying to figure out a way to make sure it can't be spammed on epic monsters. I might add that Nova can't apply Diffusion more than once to the same target over its duration.

Once again, thank you for input as well as keeping in touch!

SpectralWraithX1 votes

I think what he's saying is to give the E a cd because even if it's half range, it can be spammed if it doesn't have a cd and will just be really annoying. Imagine Kassadin in Ultra rapid fire when they first brought it out. That's what it would be like. So, I agree. Give it a cd.

Secluded Death1 votes

Well. there is a cooldown between charges which is 9 seconds at max rank which means it takes 18 seconds for both charges. She can use a max range Warp Drive ONCE every 9 seconds. If she uses the second charge, the range is halved every 9 seconds until she waits 18 seconds to fully charge Warp Drive.

So picture this: Alice uses both charges of warp drive, now she has to wait 9 seconds to use it again. If she uses it again, the range is halved and she has to wait 9 seconds again (so it is basically a cooldown).

SpectralWraithX1 votes

Oh, you didn't specify that the ability uses charges in order to power the ability... so it's similar to Vi's E in that regard. Ok nvm, you don't need a cd in between the charges. I must have misread it. If it costs the charges in order to blink then it should be fine. MY bad. You should probably say very specifically that this ability uses a charge in order to use. Because when I read it the first time I must have glossed over it and gotten confused on the purpose of the charge in the first place.

Secluded Death1 votes

Sorry for the confusion. I'll fix the wording. Thanks for the help!

Dochasach2 votes

I WANT THIS CHAMPION!

Drackolus1 votes

I actually really like this lore. Too bad the league and who knows what else has been retconned =\

Secluded Death1 votes

Yeah, I agree. I don't know what how I'm going to rework this.

SpectralWraithX1 votes

I've seen that statement about the league being retconned in several other posts as well. What are you guys meaning when you say that?

Secluded Death1 votes

{quoted}

I've seen that statement about the league being retconned in several other posts as well. What are you guys meaning when you say that?

"The common situation in fiction where a new story "reveals" things about events in previous stories, usually leaving the "facts" the same (thus preserving continuity) while completely changing their interpretation. For example, revealing that a whole season of "Dallas" was a dream was a retcon." (dictionary.com)

Joe Dredd1 votes

please no blinks

bluegolisano1 votes

That's Kata's thing.

Tentacle Love1 votes

Seems interesting. So, if she uses two abilities she gets a buff that's permanent until she uses another, and the rings last ten seconds after that? That sounds awesome.

She could be fun as an AD champion that has a lot of counterplay and strategic planning around when she uses her abilities.

Secluded Death1 votes

Thank you, and yes that is how it works! If the ultimate is level 3 (Champ level 16), she can have up to 3 permanent buffs (including the 3-of-a-kind bonus 5%) until a 4th is used!

bluegolisano1 votes

Stats missing: Health, Armor, Mag. Res, Mana, Mana/Health Regen, Move Speed, AP, AD, AS, Stat Scale. Otherwise, good design, although it does steal a bit off Sona.

Secluded Death1 votes

Soon, my friend, soon. ☻

How does it steal from Sona? Sona from League or a different Sona?

bluegolisano1 votes

Sona's abilitys give her auras. The passive is like Sona-auras, except they only affect Alice only.

Secluded Death1 votes

I guess, but that's a pretty far stretch...

Secluded Death1 votes

Newest Update: Slightly buffed base stats. Changed 1st/2nd Q cast to physical damage and decreased cooldowns by 1 second each level. Changed E to deal magic damage and increased damage gain per level by 5. W % damage increases per level.

Update: Added base stats to Alice. Added ranges and costs to abilities! Also tweaked the formatting a bit. ☻

Update: Added CCOS Challenge at bottom of post!

Update: Created ability icons and ability descriptions as well as some flavor text. Minor changes to abilities have also been done.

Black k 91 votes

One thing I noticed. The abilities constantly refer to either using energy from inside herself, or a part of herself to cast an ability. Why not Skill (or energy if you prefer) instead of Mana? Especially if she's based particularly around using abilities in quick succession. Not sure what the Skill return % on abilities would be, or even if there would be any at all. The 200 Skill Pool cap, and 10.0 Skill regen. per second allows her to keep a constant threat on the battlefield. Just as a suggestion, her Kit works just fine with Mana as is.

I really like how her "rings" work in relation to her abilities. It feels much like Invoker, how he uses combinations of Quas, Wex and Exort (take a guess as to which keys they are) to Invoke up to 15 different spells in DotA.

P.S. How did you get multiple pictures to appear in your post? I had custom Icons for my own Champion Concept, but I could only get the first Concept Art picture to appear.

Secluded Death1 votes

I originally wanted to not use any resource and just have her Rings in the resource bar which I'm still thinking I want to do, but then she would always have her abilities up. I'll have to rethink it.

I don't know who Invoker is (I don't play Dota), but that sounds crazy.

I use imgur to upload my images and then put the link directly into the text without any codes.

Thank you for taking a look!

Black k 91 votes

No problem! and thanks!

IcyPepper1 votes

Alice the black star.

Alistar

Secluded Death1 votes

Bump ☻

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