I have finally been able to keep my toxicity out of in-game chat Yay! :D

LegacyDAP·Apr 20, 2016·5 votes·956 views

However, do any of you have ideas on how to not to be toxic in real life? I don't know if it's just something your born with, obviously I can work on it and I want to, but it seems really hard to stop. Like even when I don't want to be upset or toxic I just am. It might be because I'm really passionate about League, but trying to keep toxicity out of the situation when I'm playing League seems impossible.

Thanks for any and all replies.

27 Comments

SikhRSApr 20, 20162 votes

Are you tempted to get toxic when others do not play as well as you'd want them to? Maybe you're incited to get back at people when they are rude themselves? Or do you get frustrated when you don't meet up with your own expectations?

I'll share some advice for you that I've learned that can apply to both in game and out of game.

A ton of people are just plain rude and find enjoyment/comfort in putting people down. They're all around us in real life and rampant in league xD Don't let them get you down. Ever heard of the saying, "You can't play chess with a pigeon. It'll just knock over all the pieces."? There's no point in trying to reason with them and doing so will only get you more frustrated. Use the mute button and forget about them. In real life, don't associate with these people :P
I also suggest using the mute button when someone is OVERLY criticizing you. If you're already doing your best, you don't need nagging. You need advice and encouragement, so if you're in a game where you not playing so well but your team is, try and play super safe. Mention that you don't want to ruin the game for them, and ask your team for advice in what you can do.
For your own character, I think you should strive to be a calm and unbiased person. Don't be so rash to get onto others for their mistakes and try to give people the benefit of the doubt if there is not much to be lost. Ex. The AFK probably has computer issues or something came up. Top's opponent is just way better than he is, it happens. Oh well team fed, it unfortunately happens as well, but I can always bounce back even though I was hoping to climb faster.
This might be a little difficult to do, but try to be a bit harsher on yourself than on others. The other people on your team/in your life might be bringing you down for now, but YOU ARE going to get better. You won't have to match up with the other players again, so in time if you learn from your mistakes (missed some skillshots, made a bad call, not good enough csing, and even tinier mistakes) and stay collected, you'll grow to be in a better place while they'll be below you.

I hope I was some help c:

LegacyDAPApr 20, 20162 votes

All of these are extremely helpful to me, but I think I do enough of #4 in fact, probably too much. It makes me more tilted because I know what I'm doing wrong, but not correcting it.

SikhRSApr 20, 20161 votes

Aaaahh, so that's where the problem is xD What specific mistakes are you having trouble with? You should seek guidance if you're having trouble correcting them yourself.

LegacyDAPApr 21, 20161 votes

Just like really specific stuff I guess. I don't know if I should back to save two towers when we're already behind, or just take a tower instead.

I personally think taking a tower would be better than backing if you feel like you don't have enough impact on the game.

SikhRSApr 21, 20161 votes

I think it really depends on the situation. In general, I'd prefer saving 2 towers if possible (if not possible to save just take the 1 tower). Losing towers, especially 2 at a time, provides the enemy more gold, map control, pressure, and possibly more jung camps. You also got to be care if the rest of your team is defending, and they die instead of backing off, they might get angry at you.

MilfHuntUnitXJ9Apr 20, 20161 votes

{quoted} impossible.

Think about that for a second. You know there are several solutions, but you just don't like them. Don't pretend they aren't there.

LegacyDAPApr 20, 20161 votes

seems impossible.

Lol trust me I know there are options, which is why I said "seems impossible" and it's not like I haven't tried improving on it. I just truly feel I'm at more of a disadvantage than others because I am naturally passionate to competitions. I don't even get mad at my team mates out of game. It's usually just me saying I'm stupid or something for dumb mistakes, or when I do something wrong.

MilfHuntUnitXJ9Apr 20, 20161 votes

{quoted}

I'm more special than others

That's what I got out of that. I think you just need to learn how to control yourself.

LegacyDAPApr 20, 20161 votes

And that's what this thread is about. I asked for ideas on not being toxic, and basically controlling my emotion was implied.

MilfHuntUnitXJ9Apr 20, 20161 votes

That warrants you a visit to the therapist, then.

LegacyDAPApr 21, 20161 votes

Yes, I'm obviously a crazy person if I get emotional over a game I love. It doesn't even happen often, but when I lose a lot it's a bit disappointing.

Same shit happens in other sports too. If you haven't seen somebody cry or get upset after losing a big football, soccer, etc. game then you really don't know what competitive spirit is.

MilfHuntUnitXJ9Apr 21, 20162 votes

You've got the wrong idea, I'm not saying it's about how competitive you are, it's that you cant control yourself to the point where you ask "how do i not be toxic in real life"

I mean, COME ON, what kind of question is that man? Toxic is a word they put into your mouth to make you think like you're a bad person, and you're letting that affect you.

The only realistic definition for "toxic" is that it's a made up word to describe the way they don't want you acting in their game. Nobody is policing you in real life, or in fact any other game about this, unless they are a league player. In all seriousness, that's how you're acting.

Come on, the literal definition for the word "Toxic" is poisonous. The slang and adjectivised version that they use it for in this game is misleading to people who can't think it through. It's basically harassment to tell somebody that they are toxic, that shit can be offensive on a personal level.

There's **real ** words that describe how you can act, and I think players of this game have forgot about them, such as "jerk" and "nice". And none of these adjectives will directly define you as a good or bad person. "Toxic" is legit just a word that has been twisted and shoved in your face to the point where people fear it.

Toxic, as it is used in this game, IS NOT A REAL WORD unless you're using it to describe harmful waste produced by nuclear reactions, a plant that can harm your skin and bodily function, or venom. You legit cannot use it against a person.

NOT TO MENTION that you actually think that if you visit the therapist then you're crazy. Therapists are there for both emotional and psychological health. They are both teachers and doctors. You're stereotyping it all wrong and it is not offensive to tell you that you should visit a doctor.

LegacyDAPApr 21, 20161 votes

Simple as that, I'm not toxic then. At least in your definition. I'm able to control myself enough to not type it in in-game chat, and to be able to not say stuff that's rude or dehumanizing. I guess the better way to describe how I am, is that I let stuff get to me real easily when something bad happens that causes me to get frustrated extremely easily and act like a jerk, and it gets worse when I do something bad to the point where I will call myself bad or stupid or even scream in frustration.

Toxic is a word to describe someone or something poisonous to be around and makes the environment around itself unfun, as it's used like that on most of the League topics. So you saying "it's not a real word" for real life is untrue, considering people use it all the time in this way.

I don't think that visiting a doctor/therapist makes me crazy, however the way you have been treating me through this entire conversation basically makes it seem like that is what you're implying. "I'm more special than others," is what you quoted around me, making you think I'm some sort of narcissist. And then when I responded telling me "to visit a therapist," did make it seem like you were trying to bash me or something.

So, I'll conclude this with my thoughts. In your definition, I am not toxic, but instead I am a person who gets easily frustrated over mistakes that makes it hard for me to control my emotions and not letting it bother me, getting to the point where I yell or get pissed in this mind set. In my definition, it's toxic it's me creating an environment for myself that I or nobody else wants to be around.

Toxic, is in fact, a word used by this community to show/tell somebody they're a person that nobody wants to be around, and uses words that are dehumanizing or terrible in another one's opinion.

Yes, I think when you told me I should visit a therapist/doctor was not stereotyped because of my thoughts, but stereotyped because of the way you said it, and when you said it. I do not think there is anything wrong with visiting a therapist, however I do not think my "condition" is as critical as you think it is to the point I need to visit a therapist.

Anyways if you come up with something thoughtful I'll respond to it, however I really don't know if I want to continue this conversation.

MilfHuntUnitXJ9Apr 21, 20161 votes

Again, Therapists are teachers and doctors. You can visit them no matter how healthy you're feeling. If it's a money thing I get it. They aren't just there to close out crazy people from the rest of the world. I had hoped that thought was long gone by now.

LegacyDAPApr 21, 20161 votes

I understand that, but again I will say, the way you said it to me was extremely rude. You said it maliciously like I was crazy. I have nothing wrong with therapists/doctors treating me.

MilfHuntUnitXJ9Apr 21, 20161 votes

Now you're blatantly over-analyzing what I said. Quit trying to put words in my mouth.

LegacyDAPApr 22, 20161 votes

It's just an observation. "I'm more special than others," you quoted this earlier from me, and when I responded to it saying "that's why I made this thread. Controlling emotion is implied." You said "That warrants you to visit a therapist."

In what world does that make me need to visit a therapist? Even if I am or am not emotionally healthy how does "controlling emotion" make me need to see a therapist. I am simply asking what others do to not go on tilt.

Ada WongApr 21, 20161 votes

{quoted}

Think about that for a second. You know there are several solutions, but you just don't like them. Don't pretend they aren't there.

Nice UserName :3

FovereApr 20, 20161 votes

I'd start with understanding that what makes a person "toxic" in game has nothing to do with real life.

Most of the traits Riot wants to call toxic will help you gain success in real life if you learn how to use them. There's nothing wrong with being passionate about something or having standards for the people with whom you interact. These are good traits.

Going off on people or personally attacking them, however, will not.

Kei143Apr 20, 20161 votes

realize that most things people get angry about don't matter.

stop owrrying about what you think others are thinking about you. they just care about themselves.

seek spiritual growth, and I'm not kidding on this one.

LegacyDAPApr 21, 20161 votes

Uh, I don't know about spiritual growth.

I usually don't worry what others think about me because it's just a game.

However, I will not lie I do give the occasional response that doesn't help my situation.

Caffeine PusherApr 21, 20161 votes

I can't decide if you sound more like a battered wife, or the victim of a cult.

LegacyDAPApr 21, 20162 votes

Same :^)

GamblerOfLivesApr 21, 20161 votes

i like going out and beat the shit out of people..it's relaxing:)..hope it helps man..i managed to keep my toxicity out of the game

LegacyDAPApr 21, 20161 votes

I used to play football :^)

leaugesbaneApr 21, 20161 votes

{quoted}

However, do any of you have ideas on how to not to be toxic in real life? I don't know if it's just something your born with, obviously I can work on it and I want to, but it seems really hard to stop. Like even when I don't want to be upset or toxic I just am. It might be because I'm really passionate about League, but trying to keep toxicity out of the situation when I'm playing League seems impossible.

Thanks for any and all replies.

the system was uninetnially designed to make you toxic if you take a good break you will improve your own mentality and its all you can do

as for irl the little stuff goes a long way do the little things for others that they may or may not realise sweep floors clean up after your self ect