In Need of Help. :(

So, I want to start of with a little story about myself, because I feel like what I need to say requires the background in order to mean much more than just "QQ". Also, I'm not 100% certain that this fits in any of the other boards, if I'm wrong I do apologize and request that it be moved or deleted accordingly. With that out of the way, onward. Oh, fair warning, this is going to be a long post. There will be no TL;DR, the TL;DR is simply "QQ", but the post is so much more.

I started playing League of Legends during the end of the Darius patch, seeing his login for about a week before the Draven login showed up. I was so excited, I'd heard of League of Legends before, and it turned out to be my first MOBA (and only MOBA so far). I still remember my first game, it was Volibear free week, and my friend was SOOO upset that I wanted to play volibear, because he loved volibear too, but since it was my first game he caved and let me have a go at him. I. Did. Terribly. But over time I learned and I got to where I wasn't going negative in Beginner Bots anymore. Then I hit level 30.

I immediately jumped into Ranked Solo Queue. I, as everyone else just starting out with a competitive spirit, thought I was the next Voyboy (even though I didn't even know who Voyboy was at the time.) I started ranked, and I immediately started plummeting. I was, unknowingly, "that guy". You know, that guy that people rage about, the guy that people use as "proof" of ELO Hell, the guy that has no idea what a ward is, or why he should buy one, the guy that "can't support". I was him. Then I became "that other guy". I was the guy crying about ELO Hell, I was the guy that was toxic, I was the guy that was constantly complaining at my teammates, I was the "GG" after first blood, I was TOXIC. Looking back on it, I would never have wanted to play with me.

I remained in Bronze V for over a year with that mentality. Until one of my friends (he was high gold, and is now mid level plat) tore me a new backside over Skype. We were playing a game, I was playing top lane (don't even remember the champion), and I was against a Darius. I kept going in to try killing him, even though he had like 80CS, 5 kills, and a 5 lvl advantage on me. Naturally, he would pick up another kill, and I went into rage mode about how OP Darius was, how there was no counterplay, how his ult was r%%%%%ed, this, that, you name it. So my friend tore me a new backside (while the 3 other friends on the skype call sat awkwardly in silence) and basically swore to never play with me again until I stopped being, in his words, "so mother ******* toxic!"

I looked back on it about 20 minutes after the conversation (I spat back at him, as only a truly toxic player would) and realized that he was right, in the year that I'd been playing with them, I called literally every single champion OP at one point or another. Every champion. I called my gold friend on skype, and after he declined my call like 8 times he finally answered with a resounding "WHAT?!", to which I sheepishly made my apology and asked if he could help me get better. He accepted the apology, and gave me some tips on what I needed to work on in order to get better.

I started working on MY gameplay, looking at MY decisions, and trying to make myself a better player. I stopped raging, I stopped blaming others, I stopped QQ'ing about champions being OP, I started... winning games. I found myself climbing the ladders slowly but surely, and I made my way all the way from Bronze V to Silver I over the course of around 2 months. I hit a patch of bad games, started feeling myself want to rage again, so I took a break, for somewhere around the time of 6 months. I picked the game back up around a month ago, and here we are at the main point of this thread.

I found, after coming back from 6 months of not playing, that I had decayed from Silver I to Silver V, which is fine. I was a bit rusty when I came back, but I knew I could surely climb back to Silver I, and even further. I have a good brain on my shoulders, I have a good grasp of the game knowledge required to do well, I'll have no problem climbing, and climb I did. I made it, in the few weeks up until this one, all the way back to Silver II. Now, I'm having an issue and the issue is thus: all the complaints of the "ELO Hell" advocates have been true for 6 out of my 7 games since I hit Silver II, and with my most recent one, I dropped back down to Silver III.

If you look at my match history, you'll see that I have 5 losses in ranked solo queue (and one loss in ranked 5v5, but that isn't a big deal). In the Sejuani Jungle game, our Fizz was maxing Q first, and fed the enemy Ahri enough in the first 5 minutes, to where I couldn't feasibly gank midlane, so I focused on other lanes, which were constantly shoved to the enemy turret, and ungankable until lvl 6 where I could realistically dive turrets via my ult. So I could potentially QQ that the Fizz was a complete noob (maybe he wasn't, but he had no idea how to play Fizz), and that Ahri was so big she couldn't be dealt with and that's why we lost the game (she was, but that wasn't the sole reason we lost.)

In the first Ahri loss (working up from the bottom), our Irelia had no clue. She kept telling Xin to build tanky, never mind the fact that he was, she had next to no map awareness, and let me die in our Tri-bush when I tried to roam top to help her (she would rather have just farmed the minion wave) and she dove in 1v3+ once the game got to mid/late game. I know what mistakes I made in that game, and I'm trying to correct them accordingly (I try to take what I can from a loss, in this case it was bad positioning on occasion, and missing my skillshots.)

The next Ahri loss, I admit that I did rather poorly and Annie was able to zone me out of creeps a good deal, and I got frustrated with it to the point where I took too much damage and gave her a free kill under my turret. Which was fine, I had no issues with dealing with a slightly more fed annie, I could still CS from a safe distance at my turret, until the other lanes started roaming (we had no wards) and I got dove from behind on multiple occasions, not one ping of a mia, not one person on my team pushing while the enemy was out of lane, not one person came mid to help. In the end, I can't complain too much as I didn't really have that great a game, but a loss none-the-less.

In the final Ahri loss, our top lane Fiora, and our jungle Amumu, fed the enemy Darius to the point where Darius could literally do whatever he wanted. At the end of the game, Darius finished out 19/3. I made an attempt to roam at some point when the enemy Nunu was trying to counterjungle, and my blind charm snagged us the kill, but I got killed by a Darius in the process (he already had 6 kills at that point iirc), and the snowball continued. That loss can almost solely be placed on our Fiora (who was raging at everyone like I would have been when i was in Bronze V) and our Amumu, who had little idea of how to jungle.

And (yes, we're almost done) in the final loss, and the one that got me demoted to Silver III again, I was on Malphite, against a Yasuo in top lane. The Yasuo was so bad; I got essentially 3 free kills on him before anyone came top, and I still picked up the kill on Yasuo when i was getting ganked and made it out alive. Then mid started roaming. Our mid Swain never called a mia, never pushed his lane, never followed Lux, never did anything. He literally sat at his turret and tried to farm under it almost the entire game. He then complained in a very rude manner at me, when I died to a Lux gank, because she came around behind our red (we were purple side) where I had no wards, and Swain hadn't placed a single ward to allow me to see her taking that path so I could back off. I then got berated for "not warding" even though the match history stats show that I placed the second most on the team. Needless to say, I feel like there wasn't much I could have done differently to pull a W from that game.

I really don't want to go back to when i was raging constantly, I don't like that me, but really... it's getting harder and harder to not rage when I have games like this constantly. I know I don't belong higher than Silver II at the moment; if I did, I'd be able to carry these games, but I have no idea how to. I try to beat my lane opponent, I try to push objectives, I try to ward the map for others, I try to do what I can to be where I need to be, but it never seems to help. Is there anyone that would be able to lend some advice that might help me? Because, right now, I'm just SO FRUSTRATED because I can't see any mistakes that I made that would have been game-changing enough to have won ANY of these games. :(

Thanks for reading, apologies for the QQ, it helps to vent, I just really need some help, and if anyone has any to offer I'd GREATLY appreciate it.

-A Frustrated Fysh