Patch Notes 5.24 In A Nut Shell

Snowdown - Who let Phreak out of the box again he puned a whole season this time!

- Riot didn't want to nurf Yasuo so they gave him the mother of all counter picks. (Looks like a great rework, good job rework team!)

- Okay, I'll shoot you really fast or REALLY FAST, either way don't dive my support.

- Freeze!... okay now go.

- Oh $^*# a gank! Mr. Sand man take me with you!

- (Indistinguishable musical sounds) now with more healing.

- Mana problems? Try not spamming the whole combo every six seconds!

- click click click click click click BOOM HEAD SHOT!

- Moundo - "Moundo like pain." Riot injects morphine

- One two TAG! (Now with better on hit)

- Eh, it was always tank or fighter anyway. (Now with E to go into ATV mode)

- Get Jinxed times three!

- Yeah that only hurt for like a second, what else you... what... no! Pentakill

- Welp, looks like my Tank build is even more viable #surviveability

- He slimed me... I feel so funky... you have been slain

- Now with 0/.5/1/1.5/2% less Space AIDS

- Well I was lucky to make it out of that one, time to meditate... why am I not at full health?

- Now with less Swagger and Slow-mo Power

- The mother of all skill shots is back... this is gunna hurt.

- So the bird is like it was before the big rework? I'm fine with this.

- Better Pinball

- She kinda lost a whole lot in the mastery change. No joke she needs this to keep up with Rage Blade Jax.

- Ricochet, it's a killer.

- Feel my sting! poke

- Mana problems? Try not spamming... wait.

- "Quote the raven, Nevermore" (maniacal laugh)... okay you can go now.

- Eating a whole person doesn't help you run faster? Who'd of thought.

- The wild cards the most dangerous.

- No more unexpected slow-mo moments.

- Tower? What Tower?

Public service announcements:

Due to a decrease in magical attacks the current Jungle population has bred out some of its resistance to magic.

The Rift Herald now has a locket of its mother, whoever gets it off him gets his launch money.

Wards seem to have evolved intelligence and have learned to hide themselves in brush and can avoid getting kicked by monsters.

Changes from the tinkering minds at the shops:

- now comes with automated accounting feature for easy book keeping.

- According to the former owner Dead Man's Plate isn't that good at keeping you healthy.

- It's better to focus your frustration, not just lash out in every direction.

- Now cools you off at higher critical moments

- True Zeal isn't cheep.

- Zeal isn't cheap, but triangles are.

- Shocking News! Its not the WATS but the AMPS that kill you.

- Dance faster my ghostly friend! Faster!

- This just in, studies show Clairvoyance may be linked to brain freeze.

- Clones are people too

- Rift Herald = nom noms

Masteries... nope can't sum this one up, moving on.

Pathing - Minions love us again and don't want to lock us in and watch us die.

Minions hate all other Minions equally now... except Bob, they still have not forgiven for the Poro incident of 2012.

Hear is the actual patch notes: http://na.leagueoflegends.com/en/news/game-updates/patch/patch-524-notes

I hope you got at least a chuckle out of one of these. This is what is going through my head as I read the patch notes.