The Grand Meeting of Melledoneus (REALLY FREAKING LONG, BE WARNED)
Melledoneus: All right, everyone, we're going to do a head count before we conduct the meeting. Melledoneus 1?
Melledoneus: Here.
Melledoneus: Melledoneus 2?
Melledoneus: Here.
Melledoneus: Melledoneus 3?
Melledoneus: Wait a second, I'm the one announcing, Melledoneus 48. Quit being a troll.
Melledoneus: Shouldn't we... you know... label ourselves by the champion we main?
An excellent suggestion, Melledoneus 36.
Slurp
Now, Melledoneus 1, 2, and 3 are here, correct?
Yep.
You have my axe.
You son of a bitch, you took mine.
Reworked and ready to go!
Okay... 4 and 5?
Unless we're wagin' something, I'm not contributing to this meeting.
You're a bigger prick than my spear!
Settle down, 4. We don't want another you and 104 incident.
Lost my cigar privileges for a year for that.
6,7,8?
I'm happy to be here. Not so happy to be alive.
I'm also here. Or am I?
No bad blood here, hehehe.
9, 10, 11, and 12?
Maniacal raspy giggling
There is evil afoot here.
Agreed. My blade and yours, together we shall slay it!
I'm horny.
Are you now?
HEY! SHUT UP!
Alright, 44. Don't talk out of line. 13 through 17?
I'm rune-ing through the 90's!
Not even remotely clever, WORM!
I swear, the men here disgust me with their stupidity.
I shall heal our bonds. After I slice off your bananas.
I like that plan. We should also steal their souls while we're at it. Here, I have the incantation right-
17. No black magic. Put that book away.
I have it memorized anyway.
18, control him, please.
Teemo, remember the toadstools.
Ergh. Damn it, woman.
Ok, 19 through 24?
8 is overwhelming my senses.
Robotic laughter
Hello, boys.
Don't mind him, he's just doing the awkward roleplay thing again.
Oh, yes! Moans
Looks at right arm Here we go again...
I swear you're all insane. Uses lamppost as a back scratcher
Uh-huh... raunchy as usual. 25-30?
I suggest we replace these meetings with self-inflicted torture. It'd be far less BORING!
Is this our 45th or 48th meeting? They look awfully similar.
45th. Don't spoil our future please.
Anyone care for a drink?
I wouldn't mind... heh hah...
If it's from a Singed main, don't mind if I do!
Please, do serve our guests. More souls for the reaping. We do have a banquet coming up and we need new choir members-
To avoid what happened last time, we're not serving food or drinks here. So, 31-35?
So... we're allowed to bring our OWN food and drinks, right?
I'm h-
Yep.
On my wings. Ice, eggs, stuff.
Soft cackling
Alright. No surprises there, though it seems 32 has still not made an appearance.
###### Shenpai notice me...
36-40?
Here for the doctor meeting.
...
SILENCE, 37!
...
Still got it, baby.
Present.
I'm selling fans. To my fans. Heh.
41-50? We're not making good time.
SCUM.
What did you call me, Plank of Shingle?
We must achieve inner peace... THEN INCINERATE.
Hah. I notice all your stares, you know.
WHERE IS MY THRONE?
You mean your baby stool?
YOU FOOL! I WILL DESTROY YOU!
Wait, what the hell happened to 46 and 47?
{{champion:47}}
{{champion:46}}
Oh.
I ate 49.
...any particular reason?
Hey, don't complain, it'll make this a lot faster.
All right, 51-60, report in.
Radio crackle Reporting in.
For the last time, just sit inside the room, not a mile and a half away on the roof of a building.
No way. I work better at range. And I don't trust some of you. Especially since what happened to 52.
Should I pull him in?
Not necessary.
It would rock, though.
...
That was bad. Really bad.
As I predicted, we have dark days ahead of us.
I say, I wood have to agree.
WHERE'S 75?!?
Probably getting stacks somewhere.
Humming the tune of Muffet's boss theme
Alrighty then. We'll decide after our rather... lengthy... whether or not 51 should be counted as present or not if he is not physically here.
It is quite ungraceful not to show up.
Hey, 11, did you get the c-
QUIET. Let's get this damn meeting over with already.
Agreed.
...why are you wearing a blindfold?
Why not? And the real question is... what happened to 65 and 66?
We don't like to talk about it.
Precccccissssssely.
And, as we know, 70 couldn't make it again. Because he gained supernatural powers in his universe and works as a full time planetary protector or something stupid like that. And 71, as we all know, with the deep fryer incident. 72-80, report.
Crystal clear, captain.
Oh? Is it me already? Hm... 73 did not make it... what a debacle.
Focused on stacking his tower of cards
He's here. So am I. Meow, or whatever.
Itsya boi, Melle-don-yus5G.
Egh. He gets worse every time.
He's going into withdrawal from the lack of Trick2g content. Sort of like me with alcohol.
And me with baking. Someone actually recommended me to My Strange Addiction.
Alright. 81-90, if any of you aren't missing. This table is huge and it seems to get bigger every year.
You all knew I was here when I walked in, hah.
Verdammt, you puny Schlingel. You are to laugh like 'hue,' not 'hah.' You are not a woman.
Alas, I am here as well.
Reporting as usual, Shen-Mell. I am awaiting ord-
85, if you will. This silence is killing me.
Sup.
Thank you, 85. Next.
For justice!
That was shorter than last year.
Yeah, well, I forgot my heroic speech cards this time.
I suppose 87 and 88 are missing again. I suppose they're off doing whatever convicted criminal duos do for fun.
Even though they meet once a year.
The dimensional Rift lasts a week, though.
Whatever. Can I throw one of my knives at 92? He keeps tapping the table rapidly and it's annoying.
I'm used to pressing buttons to make things happen. WHY AREN'T THINGS HAPPENING?!?
Great, you scared away 93, 94, and 95. Hey, when's lunch, by the way? And no, I didn't eat 97, he left too.
Of course, I'm here as well, being 98...
Brilliant!
How do you know you're here, 98? 100 isn't. Heh heh...
Shut up before I kick your ass, spell-slinging wimp.
Hey, guys, don't fight now. I'm here, no need for flashy intros.
...where's the ashtray?
Good question. Seems fishy...
You were just waiting for that pun. Heh, shocking.
I'm coming for you, 121. Just like I did with 108 and 109.
Can we hurry this up? I have archery practice.
Taking the cosplay a little far, huh? Breathes from snorkle
I don't understand the meeting's point. Most of these people are idiots.
Most of them can also break your teeth.
Shut up. It's enough that I have to share my personal space with you ass holes.
Scoots next to 114 Did you say... personal SPACE?
Ugh. Wipes off shoulder and scoots away
Don't worry about where 116 went... hee hee...
I persuaded 118 to give me his seat so I can have a place to put up my feet. Now, it's time for my grand intr-
NAY! Nay, I say! How was that one?
98... do I have a guarantee that 107 won't try to tackle me again?
It depends on how fast you can run.
Eh... that's not... very reassuring...
Points at both eyes, back to 121
I got nothin'. Olaf is a copy-cat and a bastard. Just like the 3 guys next to me before I dunked them unconscious.
I put down an acceleration gate and blast 'em with a hyper charge! Face the future!
...right. Disregarding the idiot next to me, and the 3 empty spaces on the other side, I am alive and well.
Lunartic reporting in.
Good god, your puns are the reason why 132 left.
This mahogany table... the label reads... gasp EXTRA THICC!
Good god he always finds a way to say that.
Aren't you new?
Well, yeah. Also, what's up with all these empty chairs? 135, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149...
Ask Riot. They piss me off so much sometimes.
Wait... so Riot is responsible for the disappearances of 151, 152, and 153? Man. That's just mean.
Tell me about it. 155, too. 156 was Yone, so that one's on me.
Is it really necessary to mention all these missing numbers? It's getting annoying.
Agreed. I'll just call out the chairs I see and we'll get on with it.
Also... why did you stop calling out the name intervals a while ago?
I told 163 to get me a drink on the rocks and he threw a literal rock at my head.
Yeah-heah, sorry about that. Did the bleeding stop?
No. Neither did the dizziness. But I'll check myself into a hospital after this.
I'd rather check myself into your mom.
I'm... ok. That was 164, one of our... newer... additions. 254?
You know it.
And... of course, 222, how could I forget.
Beams maniacally
421, 429, 201, 268 off the top of my head.
Furiously clicks mouse button
This is getting quite random with the call-outs.
Meh. I'll support you either way, we're all Melledoneus.
I'm still mad about those Azir posts, 98.
We'll talk about that after you tell me about your gender bent Shen... you know. Mine was far more tame. 427.
Heh, hello there!
Spry as usual... 432, 245, 203, 223.
Plays a high pitch note on saxophone
Third time attending this meeting. Never gets old.
I call bullshit on that.
Now, you folks take it down a notch. Don't wanna have to bust out the Catfrog bombs, do I?
#The entire room audibly protests
Good. Do your thing, ninja man.
420.
...here. Thank goodness nobody made a joke this ti-
Toot air horns from across the room
GOD damn it.
202.
...
Clears throat TWO-OH-TWO.
...
I get that you like the number four, but for pete's sake I DON'T CONTROL THESE NUMBERS.
...here, I guess. You don't understand, the number four isn't just a number, it's lif-
You're right, I don't understand. 240?
Whatchu blabberin' about son? I'm here, use yer damn eyes.
Noted. 163?
I am here. I hope I didn't hit you hard enough to make you forget.
Forget what?
Oh, dear.
Crap, I didn't see that side of the table behind 75's card tower. Er... 266?
I am here. My champion's fate is uncertain.
Join the club. 236 and 412?
Why the hell did you put us together?
It'd be more entertaining of course.
He keeps making dead wife jokes and they're starting to get kind of gruesome!
How many dead wives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Please make it stop.
Wrong. It depends on how high the lightbulb is so you can make a pile high enough to reach it.
Can you not see he is clearly insane?
Trust me, the entire room is insane in its own way. 497 and 498?
Here.
We're not a couple.
I know. Trust me, we're the same person in alternate universes.
You forgot me.
No I didn't, but thanks for making my job easier.
You forgot me, too-
Silence, filthy Zed main.
You were once a Zed main, too...
Stop reminding me of my regrets. Did I miss anyone?
...well, you did forg-
Ok, good. As unbelievable as it is that all you lunatics are the same person as me, the role call is finished. Now, we... ow, my head...
You... need to go see a doctor, man?
What for? I'm as healthy as a... mango...
STOP LOOKING AT ME I DON'T HAVE ANY MEDICAL EXPERIENCE.
Who here is a doctor?
Raises hand
I don't hear anyone. Well, tough luck. Ok, let's get you out of here.
Ugh...
Let me help you-
NO. GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU'RE GIVING ME FIBROMYALGIA JUST BY BEING NEAR ME.
Fibro-what?
