yo momma's so fat that..... (+ bonus question,Riot answer please)

• In the twisted treeline,she captures both altars at the same time
• She wards the entire map
• She takes the xp from every champion in the map
• When she plays jungler, she gank in the 3 lanes at the same time
• She is immuned to knockups
• Warmog heals her only once before running out of power (and tears itself)
• She eats
• when uses Q on her,he get more fat than and dies from a heart attack
• When she get banned in draft, she takes the 5 remaining slot for ban
• She is ranked Bronze V - Challenger
• Everyone gravitates around her
• She can't wear items (and is a moutain...).

I have more in mind but i'd like to see yours :p

I also have a questiion about Malphite chogath and other huge champions. When they buy an item, does the item adapt to their height or do the champions put them in a part of their body (eat them etc..)