The Healer's Club

Melledoneus··49 votes·3,833 views

Soraka Alright, let us call this meeting to order. Sona, what's our weekly update? Sona Holds up one of the many flyers on the table and points to it Soraka Ok, thank you Sona. Now, let's read off the docket... item number one: Redemption. What's the issue here? Kayle We're thinking this item might make more champions want to join our club since pretty much anybody can heal now. Janna Agreed. Bard Chimes defiantly Kindred Wolf: We can hear you! Kindred Lamb: That was very rude, Bard. Zilean Everybody settle down. This club is for everyone who can heal another ally without the need of an item. Nidalee Even ones with pitiful heals. Glares at Taric Taric Strokes chin Jealous? Nidalee Fakes retching Alistar Listen up! We cannot allow our differences to divide us. Much like... my... mom and dad... Fiora Comforts Alistar Nami Sona, what are all these dots on the flyer? I can't read this. Kayle What the hell, Sona?!? This is the third time in a row! You're not even blind, why are you writing in Braille?!? Sona Raises two middle fingers to the entire room Soraka Sona, we talked about this- Doors open and Shen enters awkwardly, the whole room goes silent Janna ...what are YOU doing here? Soraka Shen, you don't belong here anymore. Shen Don't get the wrong idea. I'm here to get my Vorpal Blades. Bard Chimes that they were thrown away Shen Oh. I see... I just wanted to keep at least one to preserve memories... Janna You should probably leave. Shen Nods sadly and mopes out Kindred Wolf: What a little bitch. Kindred Lamb: Wolf!!! Shen You know, even when I was part of this, you never made me feel welcome. Fiora You could hardly call that a heal. Shen But at least nobody can counter my abilities with an 800 gold item. Walks out Zilean How rude. Sona Abruptly gets up, flips off the entire room, kicks open the door and leaves Soraka ...she really needs to start smoking again. Taric Agreed. Nidalee Can it, beefhead. Taric Gestures to Nidalee She's crazy for me! Soraka Alright, that's the fourth time in a row we got distracted. Meeting adjourned. DrMundo Ok. Janna WHY ARE YOU HERE?!? DrMundo Mundo is a doctor. Doctors heal people. Wow, they make stupid people too much these days. Picks up surgery bag and walks out, shaking his head

50 Comments

TyrekGoldenspear14 votes

... again?

Did she find Graves' cigar?

Melledoneus9 votes

Let's just say what she smokes would put hair on Graves' lungs. Not even he can handle that stuff.

TyrekGoldenspear6 votes

Well I think we figured out why Sona can't speak.

Melledoneus10 votes

No. She figures she doesn't use her voice box anyway, so why take care of it?

TyrekGoldenspear2 votes

But who's taking care of her lungs? Regular visits to Soraka?

Melledoneus6 votes

It's a healer's club, use your imagination.

But I'm pretty sure lungs are Janna's thing.

TyrekGoldenspear4 votes

But all she does is take breath away. :O

Melledoneus4 votes

There is a lot of untapped potential on in her.

TyrekGoldenspear2 votes

Lewd... Hey wait a minute, why wasn't Heimerdinger invited? His passive kinda counts.

Melledoneus3 votes

Even if it was counted as a heal, he would be too busy to attend.

garren911 votes

Sion I haven't forgotten about you fucks

Photos of Ghosts2 votes

VERY LOUD SCREAMING IN THE DISTANCE

Clapper of Asses10 votes

Thresh We'll make our own club. TahmKench We are better at protecting adcs anyways. Thresh We'll call it the Body Blockers Club! Braum AND SHEN CAN JOIN!! Also free poro to who ever joins :D Shen Im Home :D

Clapper of Asses1 votes

You can't keep my fav champs out of the club ):<

Terozu1 votes

Here's my application, where's my poro?

Melledoneus10 votes

[{quoted}](name=Lantern Baits,realm=NA,application-id=Ir7ZrJjF,discussion-id=vErWNAKY,comment-id=000a,timestamp=2017-01-30T01:14:45.678+0000) Shen Im Home :D

How dare you imply Shen does not use apostrophes properly.

Glory ln Death1 votes

Clearly, the Shenpai would actually have said "Tadaima!".

Tattersall9 votes

The Global Ult Club Ashe Draven Ezreal Gangplank Jinx Karthus RekSai Shen Soraka

Nocturne and TwistedFate come to the meetings, but they're always busy and need to leave halfway through.

Fondling Gems8 votes

Welp since it is the only thing the comment section is mentioning anyways lets list every champion that can heal an ally.

Alistar Bard Fiora Janna Kayle Kindred Mordekaiser Nami Nidalee Sona Soraka Taric Zilean

Honorable mentions include Lulu As her ult is not actually influenced by grievous wounds and (while I can't find confirmation) I would assume is not increased by heal boosts.

Also screw you, Taric has a very manly heal. Seriously though people really just don't understand what Taric's heal is balanced around. Starting to get annoying lol.

50000000000000001 votes

Taric heal is the fotm joke

Fondling Gems1 votes

Yeah, just doing what I can to explain the reasoning and invisible power behind it. Unfortunately most people don't look beyond the raw numbers.

Also you up to do that bot lane combo? I am free the rest of the night.

CasterGilgamesh2 votes

can you explain then please i just want to know why cant they even let him gain charges on it faster at later levels

Fondling Gems1 votes

Ja, I have been responding to everyone in this post. Mine is the top comment. Tons of people have been bringing up different points and me and a few other Taric players have been responding as best as we can. Feel free to read through, there are interesting points on both sides. If you have any questions after that just leave a response to one of my comments and I should get to it within 24 hours.

Danjeng1 votes

Taric's heal is pretty good, I don't understand why non-Taric mains are claiming its bad. If we gone along with the suggested buffs people say to give his heal, he'd be pretty obnoxious.

Fondling Gems1 votes

It is because people who only play Taric a couple times see a heal, think healing champ, and want to use it more than they should. Kinda like how anytime you pick up a new champion you are gonna burn mana more than someone who knows the champion and can make more use with few spells.

Taric is just especially punishing since he is a bruiser style champion with inbuilt healing, so all there is to gate him is mana cost, and the only way to gate both those areas is by hitting his Q mana cost. People who don't realize that feel like Q costs way too much, which it does. For the healing the ability gives the mana cost is too high. However when you realize it is the lever his entire laning phase revolves around it makes a lot more sense.

It can also be hard to realize the the ability that balances you champion is the one you want to max last, since there aren't really any other champions that do that. Taric is unique in that because there aren't any other supports who want to fight but have inbuilt healing. Unlike Braum Thresh or Leona his health isn't what gates him because of his Q, it has to be his mana, and if you are balancing around his Q healing him and have to use mana to lever that then his Q is what needs to have the high mana cost, not his other abilities.

Terozu4 votes

*Outrageous.

50000000000000001 votes

I'll be on for the rest of the night. Just let me know when you get on!

UnboundCreator3 votes

Where's vlad?

Melledoneus17 votes

He was too bloody selfish to be admitted.

Khadaver7 votes

in other words, you have to heal others to get in

Over Innsmouth3 votes

Even Vladimir doesnt get invited to M&G stuff.

CasterGilgamesh2 votes

I love this but I'm conflicted I like new shen a little but only because of the fact he feels so much better as a support than his last kit

Meep Man2 votes

Club Members: Alistar Bard Fiora Heimerdinger Janna Kayle Kindred Mordekaiser Nami Nidalee Sona Soraka Taric Zilean

TeCoolMage2 votes

Nami feels bad man no support for the atmospherically challenged

Lulu well she does increase your health

Mordepool1 votes

Why didn't Morde get an invite? Kindred it's probably kindred

Melledoneus1 votes

He insisted on his pet dragon coming, so they decided against it.

Nielarken1 votes

Lulu Why didn't lulu get an invite?

Melledoneus2 votes

She doesn't technically have a heal.

Nielarken2 votes

If Zilean ult is affected by Grievous wounds then I will allow it. Otherwise Lulu needs to come to the meeting too.

Melledoneus4 votes

Lulu's ult increases the HP pool. Zilean's heals you for an amount of HO upon reviving.

UnboundCreator1 votes

I like this so much

Melledoneus1 votes

Added a few lines to make this a longer turd of a post.

AngelFrost001 votes

I died at part of

Raises two middle fingers to the entire room

Please make more .

Admiralhaddi1 votes

Yasuo : We need a club too Riven : Yes we'll call it cancer club Teemo : hehe haha Malzahar : Can I join too? Yasuo : Ofc you can.

junglerboy161 votes

Dude, Malzahar has space AIDS, be a little more sensitive, ya feel me bro?

Admiralhaddi1 votes

[zombie-brand-mindblown]

ChaseDaCookie1 votes

Nicely done,this is really fun.Also,I am glad that you knew Sona can't speak.

More from Memes & Games

More by Melledoneus