Lucian.
What do you call a sick Lucian? Flucian (I'm sorry)
What do you call a sad Lucian? Blucian (I don't know how to stop)
What do you call a sticky Lucian? Glucian (Don't leave me please)
What do you call a quick-thinking Lucian? Solucian (Oh Lord, forgive me)
What do you call a dirty Lucian? Polucian (Send help)