Guys, I've tried to get over it, but I can't hold back any more I need to address this

AhmCha·2/2/2018, 5:58:40 PM·145 votes·12,364 views

https://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/Brand_0.jpg

WHY THE FUCK IS BRAND WEARING PANTS?

"Well obviously it's so he's properly covered up, this is a T rated game after all"

Yeah, yeah ok, I get you, except HE'S ON FIRE ALL THE TIME. Why don't they burn? What are they made of? Why does he tie belts around the thighs?

For 4 years....4 GODDAMN YEARS I have tried to ignore this, ever since I saw his splash for the first time, but the thought has always been there, gnawing, eating away at my sanity.

"You're overreacting, they obviously can't show his fiery micropenis in the game"

He's not even a fucking person, he's a flame spirit or some shit, you could just make him genderless, but no....you just had to give him pants. You know what pants mean? It means there's something there to begin with, and I have had to live with that knowledge for 4 GODDAMNED YEARS. The knowledge that something is under there...watching....waiting. And I can't take it anymore, I can't be the only one who bears this curse.

I'm sorry you have to bear this burden with me, but it's time Riot tell us the truth. Why does Brand need pants? What is he hiding? Do we even want to know? I demand answers after all this time, I've suffered in silence enough.

110 Comments

swanington2/2/2018, 6:10:01 PM126 votes

Why does anyone wear pants?

[sg-janna]

CherryBlossom4902/2/2018, 6:08:41 PM40 votes

Nice clickbait. [zombie-brand-clap]

BlackFlux2/2/2018, 6:17:05 PM37 votes

AN 18+ WEBSITE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION

Laughing Fish2/2/2018, 8:20:10 PM36 votes

If Evelynn doesn't need pants why does Brand?

[zombie-brand-clap]

OverpoweredSoap2/2/2018, 7:23:17 PM26 votes

Because he's packing heat and I don't think League is ready for that type of heat just yet.

Lolman9782/3/2018, 1:14:04 AM13 votes

He wants to show off his new brand of pants

What else?

Raven Redeemed2/2/2018, 6:25:03 PM10 votes

I just realized Brand is the least interesting character (that I can think of). Fire guy. Pretty much sums him up.

Disulfiram2/2/2018, 9:57:05 PM4 votes

Maybe he bought them at Hulk's?

Deathhawk8882/2/2018, 6:51:49 PM4 votes

I mean Caitlyn is wearing like 9 belts on her legs, as well as a massive top hat. Yet nobody else in Piltover dresses like that.

CytheGuy2/2/2018, 11:47:17 PM4 votes

Aatrox

Nobody remembers Aatrox

Slice n Dice em2/3/2018, 3:39:42 AM4 votes

Pants are dragon. His pants are made from dragon leather that's why they don't burn. simple*[sg-ezreal]*

DJOKER2/3/2018, 1:23:56 PM4 votes

#Thx bro, Now i cant stop thinking about this also.

Raiyza2/2/2018, 9:48:07 PM3 votes

Because if he removed his pants he would be....too hot.

;D

No homo. I'll be leaving now.

davmackinhos2/3/2018, 6:11:31 PM3 votes

"He's not even a fucking person, he's a flame spirit or some shit"

Actually he is like Zyra in that they assimilated the body of some random unfortunate sap. In brands case it was a bandit looking for some dank loots and now he is an angry overly burnt marshmallow man. So brand is a flame spirit/elemental, but the form he is in is a human male.

Saibbo2/3/2018, 12:03:31 AM3 votes

I guess he's cold down there

Teémò2/2/2018, 6:57:04 PM3 votes

I'll see your brandy and raise you a skullmeramon https://cdn.anisearch.com/images/character/screen/2/2154/full/6427.jpg

SaltLord4512/3/2018, 1:46:27 AM3 votes

But how come Fizz gets to be naked?

Knalxz2/3/2018, 12:32:11 PM3 votes

https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/killerinstinct/images/1/11/Cinder_retrowip.png/revision/latest?cb=20150404101023

Classic Cinder from KI 2013 is basically what OP is asking for.

But I'd be fine with Normal Cinder. Basically a person in flame containment gear.

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/killerinstinct/images/4/4a/Cinder_noflame.png/revision/latest?cb=20150404100930

EDIT: OMG OP There is a Splash art remake of Brand BUT HE"S CLASSIC CINDER!

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/pDF2Kqmhl1w/maxresdefault.jpg

Thefrostyviking2/2/2018, 10:52:03 PM2 votes

Last i checked Brand was a spirit that hijacked the body of some tomb raider, and apparently of all the raiders attire only the pants survived the ordeal.

Now we should wonder how the heck those pants keep surviving constant exposure to fire, and a firestorm that turned the body into charcoal mixed with molten fire.

Seems OP.

Dessem2/3/2018, 2:06:12 PM2 votes

Next time you have such deep, penetrating thoughts...

...

Please keep it to yourself. I did not need this on my mind.

Jinx Hunter2/3/2018, 4:23:31 AM2 votes

because if he didn't then when he casted a spell. It would look something like this. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c2c7seIH-J0/UBWz0jUFKcI/AAAAAAAAAVc/uqyXExXZFGQ/s1600/Ghost+Rider+pee.gif

HalcyonDweller2/2/2018, 7:23:30 PM2 votes
Goddammit I lost the game.

Thanks for sharing something that cannot be unseen :P

Quadle2/2/2018, 7:47:31 PM2 votes

Nice post. Made me elgiggle

Caekie2/2/2018, 9:33:50 PM2 votes

He's a possessed spirit.

IIRC the "belts" on his legs aren't actually belts but rather metal clasps that were used to pin his body down before he escaped.