Vel'Koz analyzes the strangest things...

darkdill·Oct 8, 2014·17 votes·2,812 views

Post up Vel'Koz's comments on something strange he analyzes. Disintegration not required.

Example! - "Female subject's body temperature has increased following damage to clothing article. Interesting."

51 Comments

The QuicheOct 8, 201415 votes

Garen Subject appears to have trans-dimensional existence, is able to be in multiple instances of tall grass at once.

BesteauOct 8, 201414 votes

Chogath Subject is known to be Cho'gath, who was once my college roommate. He had an appetite for everything in my mini-fridge. Caution is well placed when approaching him.

7ha7guy777Oct 9, 201413 votes

Zilean Subject appears to have the ability to rewind time subject appears to have the ability to rewind time...

squidgenOct 9, 201410 votes

Azir Subject cannot stop screaming the name of a dead civilization. Also has delusions of being a pigeon.

Judge ArcadiaOct 8, 20149 votes

DrMundo Subject appears to goes where it pleases, must study further to see what the limitations are.

amonkeybuttOct 8, 20149 votes

Ahri Isn't off-put by my appearance, quite unlike all other female subjects. Further study is planned.

weihe123Oct 9, 20141 votes

Isn't off-put by my appearance, quite unlike all other female subjects. Further study is planned.

makes sense, in her lore, she's basically portrayed as a slut :p (She's a Kumiho, Korean Nine-tail fox. suduces guys then eat's their liver. ehh)

Werewolf LinkOct 9, 20141 votes

I thought she was a Kitsune?

StarlingSweetOct 9, 20141 votes

Kitsune=fox

ConnceptOct 11, 20141 votes

Basically the same legend under a different name, like how every culture in Europe has their own version of Cinderella.

However in the case of Ahri, she was made to celebrate the official Korean launch of the game, and is therefore specifically based on the Korean Kumiho, not the Japanese Inari, known in English as the Kitsune.

Caustic CrusaderOct 11, 20141 votes

Basically the same legend under a different name, like how every culture in Europe has their own version of Cinderella. However in the case of Ahri, she was specifically based on the Korean Kumiho because she was made at the launch of the Korean version of the game.

for some reason I think you've posted in the wrong thread

ConnceptOct 11, 20141 votes

You must be in chronological view, switch to discussion view and it will make sense in the context of who I was responding to.

Bottom LanerAug 20, 20151 votes

"Vel'Koz has become engrossed with anal...yzing poros"

soulnight115Oct 8, 20149 votes

Teemo Subject creates a great amount of rage in those unfortunate enough to look at its figure. Rage is not relieved until subject has been put through extreme excruciating pain and a slow death. I have looked at its figure, must correct

SlaaneshineOct 8, 20148 votes

The physics of this realm tantalize me. Subject used large amounts of brute force to attempt to propel itself forward through a wall, and simply phased through the solid matter. After multiple tests, I have found I am unable to recreate this instance. Multiple injuries were sustained in the testing process. Note to not repeat this test.

LetsgetcookingOct 9, 20148 votes

Varus "Subject appears to wear my cousin as pants."

NatakeOct 10, 20148 votes

Velkoz Subject appears to be very handsome.

This guy 85Oct 8, 20146 votes

MasterYi Subject appears to have.... Sword boots?

LordTekronOct 9, 20145 votes

Veigar Subject seems to react aggressively towards references to his height, yet despite small size possesses a high amount of dark magic. More research may be required.

Jinx Subject seems to talk to her weaponry as if they were sentient beings, level of sanity is currently uncertain.

Astral ZephyroroOct 10, 20145 votes

Zilean Subject seems to know what I am saying before I can say it..Interesting and annoying. Will be destroyed at a later date.

weihe123Oct 9, 20144 votes

Amumu Subject appears to be depressed. Annie subject 2 goes to subject 1 Subject 2 accidentally lgnited subject one

notes: Non-void people are weird

Astral ZephyroroOct 10, 20144 votes

Warwick Subject seems to become passive at the mention of a belly rub.

Der MetzgerOct 11, 20144 votes

Jinx Upon further investigation it has been theorized that dis bitch cray

BencorgiOct 9, 20143 votes

Sejuani subject appears to have a boar that can preform quantum tunneling to bypass any wall. Further study through dissection is planned.

QuortOct 10, 20143 votes

Shen Subject appears to be a flippin' ninja.

ThreshMySoulOct 11, 20143 votes

Rammus Subject has managed to create a new langague completely consisting of the word, "Okay". Further study is needed to decipher meaning.

TOTAL INSANITYOct 11, 20143 votes

DrMundo "Subject inflicts pain on himself to increase his own tenacity, strength, and vigor. What sort of troll science is this shit." - Velkoz

Laughing FishAug 20, 20153 votes

Teemo All attempts to analyze the subject have resulted in horrific visions of things to come.

Bard Subject appears to be B-B-B-B-Bard to the bone.

Soraka Subject has a horn growing out of her head, but was not happy to see me. The Banana was certainly unexpected.

Alistar Subject kept headbutting my away from him screaming "You can't milk those!"

Nidalee Subject appears to become more docile in the presence of the herb known as "catnip".

Nami The subjects ability to somehow fly without any form of propulsion continues to baffle me.

manliestdinoOct 10, 20142 votes

Draven subject appears to have created own league. More research on this league is required

JakethenightOct 10, 20142 votes

Quinn Subject appears to be having frequent psychotic breaks in which subject believes they are conversing with an adult male Aquila Demacius. Appears to be receiving lewd statements of 'humor' from the avain eluding to subjects romantic relationship with JarvanIV . Further investigation required.

Mistress MadokaOct 12, 20142 votes

Fiddlesticks "Subject appears to befriend the very creatures it was built to repel. Investigation will proceed upon dissipation of extreme, tentacle-wetting fear." ~ Velkoz

Senpai GnarOct 12, 20142 votes

Nasus Subject appears to only care for something called farming. Tests have revealed he will move toward 'creeps' and completely ignore all else. Additionally, he gets larger in size when alarmed or scared.

darkdillOct 22, 20142 votes

Rammus - Subject has a very limited vocabulary, but incredible resilience to physical harm. Curious.

Nami - Subject appears to have mammary glands, but is of a non-mammalian species. Possible anomaly. Will require analysis to be certain.

TheHobbitsOct 22, 20142 votes

Udyr Interesting. Human is convinced it is Panthera tigris, Ursidae, Testudines and Aves at alternating intervals. Avoidance advised.

WarlockLawOct 22, 20142 votes

Karthus Subject appears to be in a group called a "band." Further tests a required to determine its purpose.

FluffehPoroOct 10, 20141 votes

Zyra Subject appears to be a harmless plant. But the mistake I have made was grave. I tried to obtain this subject from the ground and the subject began to move and tangle me in its roots. I fear that my tentacles will not be enough to stop this lifeforce....

Diana x MeOct 10, 20141 votes

Zac Subject desires a suit.

weihe123Oct 12, 20141 votes

Sona "subject appears calm and naive. Oh wait, she broke a string. Oh wait, now she's um... cussing? can't tell. Now she's walking to the music store to buy new string."

Mistress MadokaOct 12, 20141 votes

*Floating to the Music Store

Mistress MadokaOct 12, 20141 votes

Gnar "Subject becomes significantly less enjoyable when provoked. Further tests not advised." ~ Velkoz

We Are EternalOct 12, 20141 votes

Gnar "The subject has changed"

Mistress MadokaOct 12, 20141 votes

Braum "Subject seems calm under even the largest duress. Subject appears to enjoy the company of Species 8472, "Poros". More Investigation will continue after ingestion and Procession of pasteurized lactation that the subject has offered." ~ Velkoz

LilrebelOct 14, 20141 votes

DrMundo Subject appears to be a able to travel dimensions, going where he pleases to go seemingly at will.

XenohazOct 22, 20141 votes

Teemo Subject appears to provoke disproportionately massive irrational rage in all humanoids.

darkdillOct 24, 20141 votes

Lux - Subject appears incapable of negative thought. Able to manipulate light in ways that rival my Lifeform Disintegration Ray. Will require a thorough analysis.

MissFortune - Female human. No known magical capabilities, but appears to attract males of the species with little effort. Overdeveloped mammary glands may be a contributing factor.

darkdillNov 2, 20141 votes

Caitlyn - Subject's attire does not befit her position as a law enforcement officer. Uncertain of name; subject is referred to as 'Caitlyn' by most, but also as 'Cupcake' and 'Hat Lady' by specific peers.

Sona - Subject appears incapable of oral communication. Able to use musical instrument to communicate and for self-defense, but poses little threat. She will make for a most rewarding test subject.

darkdillAug 19, 20151 votes

Leona "Constant solar emissions make this subject difficult to analyze."

RekSai "Subject is an alpha female member of the Xer'sai Void species. Avoid close encounters."

Ironclad DragonAug 20, 20151 votes

Fizz Subject can phase itself slightly out of existence to allow objects to harmlessly pass through it. It is unable to be struck while sitting atop of its pole-arm, despite my best efforts. Subject has taunted me incessantly during testing.

rand0mredneckAug 20, 20151 votes

Gragas Subjects liver is clearly of some extra-dimensional origin. Further examination is required.

Bottom LanerAug 20, 20151 votes

Ryze Subject appears to be abnormally blue coloured and possesses magical capabilities in the form of what some call "spamming". Must also test if subject will perish if he is green coloured.