Your main's ult now is global with 0 travel or channel time.
What would it look like?
SURPRISE MOTHERF*CKER
What would it look like?
SURPRISE MOTHERF*CKER
Spam Q in base.
Someone walks out from fog of war.
An enemy has been slain
: When wolves Fly
: You were in mid lane, now you're in my fountain
:Pushed off the edge of the map.
: You thought he was dead? LOL
: Fuck you, I mean not your team, just you in particular.
: Obliterator Firing
: Obliterator Part 2 in case the first one was not enough.
Bonus Rounds :
: Justice rains from above
: Victory in napalm of my hand
: Insta-Blood well, but no one really cares.
: Hmmm....back to Alpha testing.
: Calling all enemy champs to midlane.
: You have been disconnected for AFK
: Easiest Tear Stack ever
: I used to be a player like you, then I took an arrow to the face.
: Obliterator 3: Genesis
: An actual restraining order
: YOU get a zhonya, YOU get a zhonya, EVERYBODY get a zhonya
: Two words : build AP.
: Punished for sticking together, punished for being apart.
: Michigan Roads
: CoD Wet dream
: Fuck you in particular
: Stoned
: Best Baron Steals EVER
: Kuroko no Basuke Meteor Jam
: I see I've grown rather attached to you.
: Mundo no understand
: now with 100% more DRAVEN
: No change
: No Change
: Vlad the Impaler, is that you?
: GETSUUUGAAAAAA TENSHOUUUUU
: Now presenting, Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds
: Typical French, declare a challenge halfway across a map, have no way of following up on it. (Kappa)
: dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUUUNN (Jaws)
: I don't care what you are doing right now, fight me.
: No change
: Now 100% more JUSTICE
: You were near a wall? Oh sorry, you're stunned now.
: Suddenly everyone is split up
: bowling
Best one:
: ITS HIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOON!
heh. heh. heh.
GHOULS... GHOULS EVERYWHERE
ROAR???
Mother always said, "Don't lose"
CELESTIAL SELF DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE- ACTIVATED
stop... HAMMER TIME
WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL

Gray screen simulator.
Remember those old game shows, award shows, whatever and such Nickelodeon had where they had their infamous Slime™ that they dumped on the losers (or winners)? It's like the Slime™ being dumped from the overhead bucket, but global. Still applies the knockup, obviously.
jokes on you, my main doesn't have an ult
Every problem can be solved with fisting.
All of you, move. Now. To the walls of the side lanes.
(white flash) I now come with a double rainbow epilepsy warning... every 27.5 seconds.
Umm... bwahaha, is it? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
We're in the Rift Matrix, and none of you are Neo.
Wow, those long range snipe stuns just got a lot easier. Sorry, enemy top/mid laner.

Charge 1: Gank bot Charge 2: Gank top Charge 3: Back mid
A lot of people are going to be upset
would just be broken
Also how would
even work as a global...
instant saves from towerdives.
tidal wave of sand.
fireworks.
WHO NEEDS BRAKES?!?!?!
OH HELL YE...oh wait
Instant damage and global attack range? It could only be...

The entire map is underwater
Basically obliterator from the siege mode
Step into vision anywhere, get stared to death
...Permanent charge?
I straight up kill ANYONE every 2 minutes or so, getting worse as I buy more CDR

As I just grab someone from their base and they snap shot all the way to my fountain
Introducing six-inch Stiletto Vladimir, because his heels would be out of this world.

HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
Can't outrun the police! 
: "Mhm. Okay. I'll just ult to steal baron, ult to steal Elder, then ult back to baron to pentakill. Ooh, should I ult and take their inhibitors, instead?"
wanted to kill my midlaner Nope. Wanted to kill my top laner Nope. Wanted to kill the dragon Nope.
Everything is gold
Oh, happy days.
I AM BECOME HUGE! NOM NOM NOM!
Wait something changed?

This is like Karthus ult... only much more nasty because you pentakill their team due to automatically landing all 16 waves if they're in the cone that particular instant.
And let's not forget the fact that it's 16 hits, so Black Cleaver instantly takes them down 30% armor, Dominik's means even more armor is ignored, put on enough Lethality and it's 12 waves of true damage that will wipe an enemy team more easily if they're all far enough away.
Oh, and with 40% CDR and 100% crit, she's just gonna ult again as your entire team spawns, immediately wiping you again as her team takes their sweet time murdering your base.
LET IT GOOO, LET IT GOOOOOOO
GOTCHA BITCH
Wow, I can buff myself from anywhere on the map? OPOPOP 