My LEAST favorite part of playing as a top lane juggernaut is...

...you can win lane, you can take first tower, you can get swole, but when the midlane starts throwing dogs, and you haven't skedaddled the f--- down there to hogstrangle the circumference with at least a full item, you can be sure as hell that the enemy jungler is going to softbuckle your lane and that 600 gold lead means nothing. You've lost your competetive edge. Because when you've got hotfoot in the crash juncture of the topside mid river brush, and you're just trying to pull some weight with the midlane going ham and throwing dogs, that's your only opportunity to remain relevant. Meanwhile the jungler is hotchaining top tower with the enemy top laner who only just hit their Ruby Crystal power spike.

Now I know what you're thinking: Why isn't your jungler counterbuckling the sandwich-split hotlane while you're throwing dogs with the midlane? It's because they're too busy gas-basking the botlane because the adc's support ate skillshots like a b---- and the adc is a pet rock, so it's more important for the jungler to pick up some glue and throw down a key to save the saltwash barrier from falling and poking an O-hole in your subzone jungle perimeter. Who gives a s--- when toplane is getting hotchained when midlane is throwing dogs and bot lane needs gas-basking? So you're stuck throwing dogs at a ranged enemy caster who can swoleboat your hogstrangle and outgnaw your strawpull, and unless your midlaner has some serious grease your alphaplex maneuver is just going to cause minor inconvenience.

What's even worse is when you're the one who lost lane. Now you can't even hogstrangle mid, so when the midlane is throwing dogs you can't do jack and you have to softbuckle top river while your jungler hotchains tower, and all you can hope is that the enemy top lane doesn't finish pigswaddling mid tower with their hogstrangle and come up top before you can gtfo, because while they're not very relevant they're a lot more relevant than you. After top tower is hotchained and ozone barrier goes flat, your only options are to push and be exposed to ganks from the A-hole spacezone perimeter (a.k.a. "feeding the hog") or being basically afk and getting mowerdove by the enemy hog if you stand to close to your own tower.

But now you're saying "but why don't you play another role instead?" Is it a crime to like hogstrangling lanes? Throwing dogs just ins't my playstyle and when you have to deal with mange-riding and hitbunkering the early game it just isn't worthwhile learning for me. Bot lane is pretty fun, but you have to deal with pet rocks and junglers throwing glue and dropping keys and there's a lot more mess when you're kicking dirt and chewing brass with the saltwash being so foamy. I just wish that putting a chokehold as the top hog didn't feel mandatory, or at least that the ozone barrier was harder to hotchain. Maybe if greasebiscuits weren't as strong and you could survive being swoleboated you could strawpull and remain relevant more often, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel good when you get to be top hog and mowerdive the enemy top laner.

Thanks for understanding. Hopefully this makes it clear why top lane feels like a drag sometimes.