Teach me, Miss Fiora!

darkdill·Aug 11, 2014·5 votes·3,366 views

Who here is a Blazblue player? If so, you've probably seen this before: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eeHPJzhHJU

Imagine if it was Headmaster Fiora doing those hilarious skits.

Anyone wanna write some?

13 Comments

NineballCirnoAug 17, 20145 votes

Fiora - Welcome, Summoners, and it is time for Teach me, Miss Fiora! Today we are going to cover... http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/4.14.2/img/spell/JinxR.png Kaboom Jinx - Hey french lady! Fiora - Hello...Jinx. You were supposed to wait for your cue. Jinx - I got bored and decided to make my explosive entrance. What was my cue again? Fiora - You forgot? Jinx - Nope, just didn't care! Fiora hits Jinx with her ruler Jinx - Oww...that really hurt, my feelings. Fiora - Now before I was so rudely interrupted, this lesson will cover the basics of warding. The purpose of wards is to reveal a portion of the fog of war, especially in those bushes where Garen tends to lurk. Now there are two types of wards. stealth wards and vision wards. Stealth wards last for 3 minutes while vision wards are permanent and detect invisible units. Any questions? Jinx - Ooooh! Me me me! Fiora - Yes, Jinx? Jinx - Why I am learning this instead of someone like Hat Lady or Girly Glove Guy? Fiora - Because you are the closest we have to that hyperactive cat from that other game. Moving on. There is a limit to how many wards can be placed by a single summoner. Each summoner can have only three stealth wards and one vision ward on the map at a time. This means that map vision is a team effort. Jinx - Why should I care, it's not like I have to place wards, my support usually does that. Fiora - You don't buy wards? Are you not aware of the dangers of a lack of vision? Jinx - Again my support does it, besides I have this item 3340 Fiora - Your trinket is a useful little thing, but it not enough for areas that require vision for more than a single minute like the tribush or where near dragon. Jinx - But I need the gold for all these item 3072 item 3031 item 3046 And besides what's the worst that could happen? Fiora - A stealth ward is 75g, a single minion wave is more than enough to cover it. As for what would happen, I have invited a few fellow champions to demonstrate. The door slams open, mostly likely due to being punched Jinx - Oh look it's Fathands! - Listen, Jinx. The only reason that I'm not punching you right now is that Fiora won't let me until the lesson is over. Fiora - Vi represents the enemy jungler. A lack of vision means that ganks are more likely to succeed, especially if you are at the enemy turret. And if you die, that means no gold and experience, putting you behind. A ward lets you see the gank coming, giving you time to fall back to safety. Of course ganks can come from other lanes as well. Lux enters Jinx - Hello lacking lady! Lux - What did you just call me? Jinx - Lacking Lady! You're obviously compensating with your breastplate, Washboard, duh! Lux - Don't call me Washboard! Besides your chest is smaller than mine. Jinx - The summoners don't think so! Fiora - Shut up both of you! Lux would be the enemy mid laner, likely walking down to help her teammates take down a tower or get an easy kill. Wards are also a handy target for teleporting, meaning that the top laner can help out as well. Wards also let you keep track of important objectives such as dragon and baron. And with that I believe we have finished this lesson. And now for a little review. [To be continued]

NineballCirnoAug 17, 20145 votes

Question 1, what is the purpose of wards? http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/4.14.2/img/spell/JinxQ.png - To reveal portions of the fog of war. Fiora - Correct. But Jinx, what are you doing? Jinx - Having Fishbones answer the questions. He's the only one who cares about this boring stuff. http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/4.14.2/img/spell/JinxQ.png - I just want a good education so I can be a productive member of society. Jinx - Too bad, Fishbones! You're a death machine for life! Fiora - You do realize that by having Fishbones answer these questions, you yourself are answering these same questions? Jinx - I never thought about it that way, or thought at all. Next question. Fiora - Question 2. Who is responsible for warding? Jinx - The support! Fiora - Wrong! I told you that everyone is responsible for map vision. Last question, name two important places to place wards. Jinx - Dragon and Baron! Fiora - Correct. And I believe that conclude our lesson. Jinx - And with that out of the way, Come on Fat Hand! Chase Me! - You are so going to regret those words! Lux - Let me help you Vi! She is going to pay for her insults! Jinx - I'd like to see you try flatty!

darkdillAug 17, 20141 votes

AWESOME!!!!!

Now that's what I'm talking about. Have some item 2052 .

MaknBacnPancakesAug 11, 20144 votes

Fiora - Zis ez Headmistress Fiora here to teach you Support Summoners how to HELP and not HURT your team during ze early stages of ze match.

Some common support champions are soft, and squishy or as I like calling zem, highly keelable! I'm looking at you Janna , and you Sona , and don't think I forgot about you Zyra ! Eef your partner does somezing stupid and gets zemselves keeled, or bashed up good enough to have to recall back to base, YOU CANNOT WEEN A TWO vs ONE!! Even eef ze enemy ez hurt, even eef zey ah almost dead!!!

/pokes her ruler at a whiteboard

1/2 health Nami + 1/2 health Jinx > full health Sona

DONT DO EET SONA!!!
DONT DO EET ZYRA!!!!
DONT DO EET SUMMONER!!!!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
When een doubt.. RUN!!!

Walk away.. Back to ze turret with you! Do not fight (see #4), Do not engage (see #4)!! Eef your partner ez about to die, and zere ez nothing you can do to save dem, RUN BACK TO ZE TURRET (see #5)!!!!

Meesing out on fahm hurts during ze early lane.. However geeving up keels hurts you more and helps out ze enemy most!

darkdillAug 11, 20141 votes

Excellently done! The accent really sells it.

MaknBacnPancakesAug 11, 20141 votes

😄 Thanks! It was just a starter set to see if it was close to what you were looking for. Would so better or more if there was demand

darkdillAug 12, 20141 votes

One thing I would change is to have Fiora actually talking with the other Champions and berating them (or in some cases being civil). I.E., Nami's trying to justify her attempts to save a teammate, but Fiora keeps telling her "NONONO!"

And then Fiora would eventually go on asking Nami why a fish-girl has breasts. It writes itself from there.

MaknBacnPancakesAug 12, 20141 votes

Ahhhh.. Got it!

MaknBacnPancakesAug 11, 20141 votes

I'm up to writing.. What is it you're looking for?

darkdillAug 11, 20141 votes

Up to you, really, but I'll give some guidelines.

It should be about Fiora teaching the other Champions tips on how to do better, how to avoid certain pitfalls, etc. But at the same time, you'll want to be "breaking the fourth wall" A LOT, making some "what the hell?" jokes (such as Fiora asking MF how the heck she stands up straight with F-cups), and also taking the occasional jab at the players themselves (i.e. how toxic some people are).

Watching the video in the opening post (as well as the "Help Me, Professor Kokonoe!" segments) should give you an idea of the wackiness that would work.

MaknBacnPancakesAug 11, 20141 votes

No problem... Want me to just type it out here?

How long you want them?

MaknBacnPancakesAug 11, 20141 votes

Something like that? Just a brief starter that took me 2 min.

darkdillNov 19, 20141 votes