How to play Vladimir from a Mordekaiser main, feat. a Vlad main
Huello there! If you've clicked on this thread it means that for some unholy reason you want to learn how to play Vladimir from a Mordekaiser main. Which in itself isn't that bad seeing that Vladimir is very similar to Mordekaiser, with the prime difference being that Mordekaiser likes Trash Metal and Vladimir is just that, minus the metal part. But I'm digressing, you're probably here to amuse yourself at the torturous act of playing Vlad and being a Mordekaiser main how could I resist spreading pain and suffering among both friends and foes?
So without any further ado let's jump into all the aspects of being Vlad, which I've gathered from watching my good friend Tides of Blood feed on play Vladimir. This is all in good spirit as him being a Vlad main makes him able to just press W and pool away from any nasty feeling he might get reading this!
The first thing you have to do if you want to play Vladimir is getting into the right mindset. See, with champions like Mordekaiser and Gangplank you have to be MANLY and go for the risky plays that make you look like the toughest guy there is, eating rusty nails for breakfast and doing your taxes like a grown man. NOT WITH VLADIMIR THOUGH!
You're this: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SDjHUF_r92U/UtUgDZqpaqI/AAAAAAAAAP0/DDOtGGEgMWE/s1600/d1efba109c419436af635525e6b51a5a.png
Playing Vladimir is just like studying Law. While your other teammates are living the good life, attending parties, making a name for themselves and generally enjoying college you're left in your lane, trying to survive and farm. While they're deciding the match in the early game you're stuck in your lane, farming and trying to get the items you need...
Only for you to finally graduate at level 16 and finally start being useful! Was it worth it? Maybe? Probably? I guess?
You've wasted 30 minutes trying to become useful and by then your team might have already thrown the game but if they're even or you're actually good at Vlad you might just carry it and show just how awesome you are.
But just like Law students playing Vlad comes with you having to completely disregard having fun for most of your life until finally the payoff does come (or in some cases never even shows up) Because we all know just how many students drop their Law studies, get a burnout, midlife crisis or simply need to push themselves to succeed!
So, if you're into that, go ahead and play Vlad. You could study gender studies though and play Ahri or maybe even Art and play Jhin, preference I guess?
If you finally accepted that you're going to be playing the long game and suffer through your horrendous early game for that #LATEGAME FANTASY You're finally ready to jump right into the more advanced layers of playing Vladimir!
From what I've gathered from playing with my friend Tides playing Vladimir is less about actually playing the game but "surviving" and hoping that your team can carry your weight. Despite Vladimir looking like some scrawny teenie Wet dream he can be quite heavy due to the sheer weight of Vlad player's guilt and depression over picking their champion and punishing their own team for their pick.
You can lighten that weight simply by trying to become the emotional support for your team. An overglorified Fool that keeps a weak smirk on everyone's face while you're busy lifting the heavy weights for the pajama pants wearing Vampire...erm...Haemomancer.
Because for Vladimir to ever achieve a 50% Win ratio you need to find someone to complete you and bump up your win rate with the Crimson reaper.
http://www2.pic-upload.de/img/32513233/tideswr.jpg
http://www2.pic-upload.de/img/32513238/mmwr.jpg
#True Balance
Applying some basic math it's easy to see why the two of us get along so well.
Remember how I said Vladimir is only about surviving? Well, more often than not not even that holds true as real Vlad mains seem to forget this one simple rule about Vladimir and just die because they tried to MAXIMIZE their healing. More often than not I've seen Tides just use his Crimson Rush when already dead on my screen, trying to suck that precious life out of the enemy bruiser instead of just playing like a real vampire and fleeing as soon as someone messed up their pretty haircut.
Oh how often did I witness my dear friend land a five man haemoplague only to sink into a puddle of blood mere miliseconds before the heal popped.
Vladimir being a sustain focused champion whose only job is to survive early game you have to chose your matchups wisely. The key to dominante with Vladimir is to pick him into lanes you're sure nothing will ever happen in. Preferabbly DC'd lanes where your chances of survival suddenly manage to breach the 50% mark.
As many of you know Vladimir is seen as THE Punomancer, his already Joke-like gameplay state further underlined by his VO consisting of 100% shitty puns and other ridiculous quotes. Some people like my friend Tides embrace Vladimir as being literally a running Joke! get it...running...Blood runs...Rivers will run red.... #Forget it!
Here lies the problem, whereas Vlad mains seem to embrace this trait about their champions they're only giving into his Joke-like persona and thus start to not even take the game seriously. Making bad puns and simply trying to play the early game like a jester.
NO! If you want to succeed at Vlad you HAVE to become Grimdark, EDGY and TRYHARD! As a Mordekaiser main I know that the more serious you take your champion and take personal offense in the enemy outplaying you the more success you have! Begone foolish puns! To really succeed with Vladimir like the other awesome hp based caster you need to become BRUTAL
The first thing you have to do is buy BLOODLORD VLADIMIR No longer will you have to listen to his horrible VO but can concentrate on being the LORD of the rift! http://img14.deviantart.net/4ab2/i/2015/291/c/7/lol_fan_art___vlad_vs_darius__hemoplague_by_berylcirclet-d9dimy3.jpg
Instead of making awful puns you have to be TOUGH, you have to be EVIL, you have to be METAL as fuck! Don't question me, I know what I'm talking about!
Instead of trying to make a fool of yourself be all Grim in all chat!
"I shall reign in blood!" Whenever you start the game
"Go ahead, Be negative, just like your KDA!!!!"
"A Harvest Moon, the perfect time to paint the walls with YOUR BLOOD!"
"You'll be BLOODROCUTED!" When purchasing the literally best item on Vlad 
Following all these steps even YOU can start playing Vlad and truly bring horror to your enemies! Just like a late Period you'll make their hair turn white and make them fear for their future!
So go forth and play Vladimir, the Crimson Reaper!
Or, if you're a smart man like myself just play Mordekaiser, Who's literally just a better vladimir!
Disclaimer; This is a PARODY, My friend Tides allowed me to do a bit of satire in regards to his own thread about how to play Mordekaiser, we're still best buds and he still lets me carry him whenever he does decide to play Vladimir!
- #Malicious bloody Metal
