[{quoted}](name=Malix Farwin,realm=NA,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=txUlcEWf,comment-id=00020001,timestamp=2018-09-02T07:18:45.920+0000)
Read this and am going to break down some of the things wrong with it.
For starters your premise and assumption is that all champions meet the following requirements except Zoe:
I did not say that, I said "As Riot has stated, a good champion has five points that they strike:" the word "all" makes no appearance in that sentence. Clearly, other champions have failed to meet those five points before but there are also some that hit the nail right on the head.
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Satisfying to Play
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Resonant Themes
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Skill-expressive
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Fair
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Unique
When the truth of the matter is there are 0 champions that meet all these requirements.
First of all, that's what Riot said, I was just quoting them. Secondly, that's incorrect. While the first point is rather dependent on the person and one person might find Ivern satisfying to play and another might find him boring, the rest can and often do appear on many champions.
Take Kled for instance.
He is satisfying to succeed with. Barely holding off a mob of attackers until Skaarl comes marching in to turn the tide is extremely rewarding.
He has a resonant theme. He's wild, uncouth, and somewhat insane and his kit reflects that by having you dive headlong into the enemy with reckless abandon cussing and flinging beartraps all the way.
He is skill expressive. You can narrowly avoid nasty skillshots with well-timed dashes and playing your cards right while dismounted is your ticket to success.
He is fair. Of course people who pick Yasuo into the guy and inevitably lose because Kled counters Yasuo are going to say he's unfair but they call anything they lose to overpowered and broken. It is wholly possible to dodge his pokes, gradually whittle his health away until Skaarl flees, and then burst him down before he can bring Skaarl back and, like beating any champion you're on equal footing with, it's your skill against his.
He is unique. Try your absolute hardest to think of a champion he's similar to in playstyle and character. Best I can come up with is Jax and they aren't remotely similar.
Now lets break down your responses to every category
Your response here is clearly biased and this one is a bit dishonest because there are people who do not find her satisfying to play(like you) and people who do(like me). I mean you can go no further then YouTube and see all the reactions people had while playing her to completely counter your argument here. Her problem is how annoying she is to play against.
My response is biased? My response was "I can't honestly say how she fares on the first point (new champions cost a ton)" clearly indicating that I have not played her because she costs a lot of blue essence that I don't want to spend. So I'm saying that I don't know how satisfying to play she is.
Another short and biased opinion here, you didn't even try.
I was agreeing that she succeeded on this point while also making a witty jab at her. She does have a resonant theme because she's madly obsessed with sparkles and being obnoxious (in character and in gameplay).
Skill-expressive
You made this post a day ago(well after her nerfs) and clearly haven't played with or against her. If you miss your abilities with Zoe in the current patch you will not kill anyone. So yes she has a lot more skill expression now, you have no idea what you are talking about.
I did not say she misses all her abilities and kills you, I said she misses all her abilities and "still does away with a hefty chunk of hp with an auto-attack". Lux's passive is still skill-expressive because you have to land your abilities on your target in order to get an empowered auto-attack, Zoe just misses but still gets extra damage.
You seem to misunderstood what fair means therefore you created an argument about summoner spells that are both inaccurate and outdated. You did not mention that you can not only see the spells she has but also the spells on the ground. You also didnt mention you could use the spells on the ground to punish her or all in her if she tries to go for them. You also didn't mention that a lot of power was taken away form her W to the point that the W itself(even with damage summons) does significantly less damage. You also didnt mention that the reason they were doing so much in the first place was about of the missiles and more sparkles(both got nerfed hard).
What it comes down to when Riot says Fair, they mean does it have any counterplay which it does.
I would argue that my point about summoner spells remains solid.
If you start out a match, you see what your opponent has and they see what you have so you can safely expect nothing more from them. While some runes and items can slightly decrease summoner spell cooldown, you can rightly assume they can't flash twice within the same short period of time because summoner spells (namely flash) can be extremely impactful and are often the ace-in-the-hole for just about every champion with very few exceptions.
Zoe gets access to more than two summoner spells. Yes, she has to pick up the spells that are dropped either by champions or minions but that's still an unhealthy mechanic since she can punish you for using your own summoners.
Then the rest of it is just a random tangent of things that do not make sense.
Clearly you have no care in the world for character design. Each to his/her own.
All in all i felt more like i wasted time reading it then actually gaining anything insightful.
It seems to me like you're hating on what I put up because you like Zoe and are immediately offended by anyone who says she's flawed. Actually, hold on a second.
Yes. You play a lot of Zoe.
The problem here is that you didn't heed the introduction. Rather than reading and learning a thing or two (like many other people who also like Zoe did, check the comments) about why Zoe is looked upon so unfavorably, you just falsely assumed this was a ragepost about how "I hate Zoe and she needs to be deleted" and sought out things you could argue about.
That post was not intended to vent. In fact, I don't even hate Zoe. I don't like her either, I find her design atrocious but I can't say I've gone midlane against Zoe enough to have built an intense loathing for such a champion.
I wrote that based off of what I know about why Zoe is so unfavored.
It's not a plea for nerfs or deleting the champion entirely. It is a close analysis as to why so many people in the community despise Zoe so people who enjoy playing her can understand their point of view.
I'm not a fan of people who let their adoration of the champion cloud their sense of judgement and disregard everyone who speaks negatively about Zoe as swine, picking one or two things to gripe about while missing the point, and storming off. As a result, I will not continue this discussion unless you return to the post and read it thoroughly with a clear mind.
, but the community in general seems to despise her.
, 
, 
), secure their lane with a huge spike in damage (
,
, 
), or getting a CC tool that lets them keep themselves safe in the midgame and secure kills in teamfights (
,
, 
)
or 
, which undoubtedly makes her difficult to balance. Having a strong ultimate on a longer cooldown would let Zoe have that level 6 power spike, rewarding her for doing what she's good at (poking, winning short trades) to bully the enemy out of lane and get an XP lead. Right now, Zoe isn't as rewarded for a good laning phase as other midlane mages, but she's still punished harshly for a poor one, and doesn't have an ult that can help her make a comeback.
or 
, i.e., no hard CC in the early game, but with punishing skillshots that let her control her enemy's positioning.
