They are building these, which make them unkillable, and they STILL manage to 3 shot EVERYONE.
Please help me understand why the fuck this is balanced. Thank you.
Main thing with tanks doing damage in LoL is this:
LoL isn't a turn-based game like Final Fantasy, Pokemon, or Earthbound where defense and offense are the only 2 qualities characters realistically have. In those games, defense and offense need to be counter-balanced with one-another for any degree of difference between characters.
In LoL: Range and Speed are 2 very real, very powerful things that can allow a wide range of champions to survive long enough to do their job. A well-played Ziggs is simply never going to be close enough to hit, a well-played Zed is going to be to slippery and mobile to even take damage.
Alternatively: a well-played Poppy, Garen, or Nautilus is simply going to get hit no matter what. The key for defensive champions to survive long enough to do their job is having enough durability to accomplish it: and using defense well generally requires a decent amount of foresight, as you need to commit to decisions and spend health to get in close.
If you compare most champions: you'll generally notice defense, mobility, and range are the 3 things counter-balancing one another: not defense and damage. The goal to playing any champion well is usually leveraging their defense, mobility, and range to survive long enough to make an impact.
As, say, a marksman: you don't just automatically win vs. tanks and fighters if you land a little bit of poke allowing you to then proceed to out-stat your opponent and just face-tank them. You have to use that range to stay at range, laying down the damage without getting stuck next to a short-ranged foe. If you have a lot of mobility: you have full control over choosing when to commit to and when to engage in fights. Peace out from loosing fights and stick to winning fights.
TLDR: Defense is balanced vs. speed and range: tanky targets still do damage.