Let's Name Item 3285

For the uninformed, this is an item that showed up on PBE recently:

Item 3285 (3100g)

Needlessly Large Rod + Aether Wisp + 650g

• +120 Ability Power

• +7% Movement Speed

• UNIQUE Passive: Gain charges upon moving or casting. At 100 charges, the next spell hit expends all charges to deal 100 (+15% AP) bonus magic damage to up to 4 targets on hit.

It looks like the replacement for DFG, a solid item for burst mages and mobile casters. Very nice for, say, Ahri, who just got a ton of buffs to compensate for the removal of DFG... and went through a substantial pick-or-ban phase as a result, which some would say she isn't yet out of... but that's a topic for another thread.

The point here is THE ITEM IS UNNAMED!!

Obviously this is unofficial, and Riot hasn't solicited advice or opinions from the forums on this, but hey... if it were up to you, what would you call this newfangled gizmo?

Just to start us off:

• Thunderslacks Because there's no icon yet, and the sky's the limit. I say they're damage pants.

• Sonic Resonator You move fast and then there is a boom. A sonic boom? Sure, why not.

• Dreadflame Clutch Because RIP Deathfire Grasp. Also, a "clutch" can refer to eggs, and that would be a hell of an icon, wouldn't it?

• Ferric Runecaster Is naming items after Rioters still in vogue? Because I think this one's a bit overdue.

Your turn! Hopefully I've set the bar low enough for you.