Here's a list of the identities of the sacrificial 6

For posterity

Malz: Ability to lane comfortably against the cancer that are Zed, Yasuo, Fizz and the abomination that is Ahri

Brand: His AoE, his 2 second stun, his ability to be hidden OP for 4 seasons and totally needed nerfs and DFT totally wasn't poorly thought out

Velkoz: His lazor

Vlad: His sustain and lack of any other tool

Zyra: Her plants that added flavor to generic poke

Cass: Getting fucked by Riot's rework team

So if Malz ends up having a skillshot that can be blocked by Yasuo's wall and dodged by the hypermobility micro outplay and his winrate vs the cancer dips below 50% we'll know Riot just wanted to fuck with these champs to keep busy