Riot and Spell Vamp (Patch 6.9)

From patch notes:

why is all the spell vamp gone?

Let’s start by comparing it to lifesteal. Thematically, lifesteal gives the feeling that you’re fighting back against death, creating tense 1 on 1 duels with uncertain outcomes. Mechanically, lifesteal says ‘I may have a small health bar but you’ve got to focus me down or I’ll regenerate to full.’ Spell vamp, while sounding similar, doesn’t quite hit the same bar. Unlike basic attacks, no two abilities are the same, which makes the stat wildly variable in value.

First, how is "fighting back against death" not applicable for mages? I mean, what?

Second, you're using "no two abilities are the same" as an argumentative point? Um, RNG critical strikes are still in the game, right? Draven's Q? Caitlyn's passive? Jinx's Q? Vayne's Q? Jhin's passive? Any AD champion who gets a Sheen item? These are some of the examples that show how the same champion can have varying basic attacks, more so unpredictable than abilities from mages might I add, so why is the issue with spell vamp treated so differently for mages, again?

Third, why is this in the game if spell vamp is so "unhealthy"? With this item, you're saying it's perfectly okay for AD champions to heal from their (physical damage) abilities and basic attacks; the very thing you hate AP champions having. All kinds of confusion to be had. Not many AP champions get because they often don't want or need the AD, so again it's mainly left for certain AD champions and Akali to pick up. This means AD champions get not one but two viable spell vamp items, not to mention the many other powerful right-click sustain items, while the majority of AP champions get nothing but a skimpy biscuit heal with if they have the mana to spend. I don't know if I'm the only one who saw this irony, but Riot wants , and Hextech GLP-800 to make mages want to get close enough to enemies to be attacked, except without having the suitable sustain to make getting the mana from the exchange worthwhile.

The main issue I have isn't that spell vamp is being taken away from mages. Don't get me wrong, spell vamp can indeed work for mages just fine and I'd very much enjoy having it as a viable option when I'd want it. I'm sad to see it going away. However, the hypocrisy of AD champions being permitted to have a superior version of WotA, on top of having all their right-click sustain toys, irks me so freaking much. The AD favoritism is strong and blatant.

This is the typical mage experience, updated for the upcoming changes:

Hey, check this out... What? {throws Q at minion} +15 health Impressive, isn't it? Hmm... {basic attacks minion} +127 health Quite. {shoots Q through minion wave} +83 health (total) I must say, this certainly is keeping me on the field to fight more and have an enjoyable experience. ...

{recalling}

Where are you going?

{mumbling} Stupid burst healing... barely using any mana while I'm already running dry...

Beg your pardon?

S-SHUT UP!

Oh well, I'll just keep farming while he's away... {levels up}

{at base}

If only I didn't need to go back to base so much...

Getting behind in gold and levels...

Fun game!

And... why is Caitlyn mid, anyway?

{heads back to lane after healing up} Be strong, Brand. Be strong...

Welcome back! TAKE THIS! {unleashes full combo}

What?! Barely half your health is gone! {casually right-clicking minions} And you're healing all the damage back in seconds! {humming} STOP DOING THAT! Tell me how you lived! Hm? Oh, could it be this? Nifty little item, isn't it? :D And your damage was reduced further by , which I was able to quickly heal against the bleed damage. ... I hate my life so much right now. I must ask, what purpose do you mages even have in this game anymore? I... I don't know... Well, you can always go to bot lane and- DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH BEING SUPPORT! MAGES WERE SUPPOSED TO RETURN TO MID LANE! WE SHOULD BE GOOD NOW! But youuu... you and your physical damage buddies... You've ruined EVERYTHING! I... I...

Hey... don't be so down. Riot may like my ability to deal rapid burst damage at long range without expending mana... ...and extremely high burst damage from long-range spells with my incredible amount of safety, both innately and with items... (Wait, high damage spells... does that make me a mage? I'll have to think about that later...) But surely you still have a place in this game, Brand. Chin up!

You... you really think so?

Of course! You should really get that one item though to help you out. ...What item?

AAAHHHHH!

A Summoner has disconnected