Taric is your one way ticket to Diamond

The epic sequel to : http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/gameplay-balance/8y4EUVey-lulu-is-the-greatest-champion-in-league-of-legends

Seems like people really enjoyed my first post, so I'm here to piss a little wisdom on another support. Am I going to write only about supports?

Fuck you. You're not my mom and I'll write about what I want -- and it's sleeper OP champions. Turns out the first two I wrote about happen to be supports.

Let's talk about every Minecrafter's wet dream, Taric. What can that has been do in the League of Legends when we have champions like Thresh and Leona and Braum to tank instead?

Kind of a lot, but that's what I'm here for. To make you spend some more IP/RP on a champion you never thought you'd give a shit about.

Let's talk about Taric

The Kit

Passive: Gemcraft Taric's armor is literally made from gems and decided he isn't a bitch that starts with no items so they gave him a built in sheen. Taric's armor is literally money. Not only that but it scales off of your armor. The harder you are, the more the enemy will feel it. Good choice riot.

Q: Imbue A single or dual target heal. Ezreal's tickling your butthole with his autos and Qs? Thankfully you're not a bitch, so you'll take it like a man and then brush it off as if it never happened. Enemy Leona jumped on your Jinx like some thirsty cougar-lesbian? Tell her to get the fuck over it. That's what I like to see this spell as. 'Get the fuck over it' -- Eventually the enemy will realize that trading hits with you is pointless when you're both harder than Lunatic+ in Fire Emblem: Awakening.

W: Shatter The harder you are, the harder everyone around you becomes. Consequently, flex your abs to weaken your enemies' resolves. Hidden Passive: Break the 4th wall and make everyone grow extra chest hair like true men.

E: Dazzle Wink at your enemies to make their heart stop for a second. The wink travels slowly -- but no matter what, your feelings WILL reach them. The less it takes, the more it hits them for. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, bitch, and Taric REALLY missed you.

R: Radiance Slam the R key with your face for a bonus 10% to the stats you give your allies. You give everyone in a radius around you a buttload of AD and AP which meshes well with the rest of your kit. The enemy team can try to trade with you, but when you're all too hype to die, and stronger than ever before -- what are they going to do? Stop you? Clearly not. They can desperately try though.

What's that you say? You're not good at tanky close range supports? Neither am I! Thankfully, Taric is useful just for existing. That's right! You can literally go afk and grab a drink in the middle of lane, and probably get an assist because they tried to focus your beefy butthole, and the carry took advantage of it. Pop a Q on yourself and say 'I'm over it' because that fight is over, and so is the fucks you give over the damage you took.

What about items? Open up the shop, and go to the armor section. Buy things there. You want to be hard, and need to be hard. The enemy team can't ignore your girth when you're THAT hard. 5 frozen fists work just fine because Taric isn't bound by the laws of human biology, and it's always better to have more fists to punch people with.

Get out there, run into the enemy team, and roll your face all over your fucking keyboard because you're a man with zero fear. No fear of dying, no fear of getting hit, and the tenacity and toughness of a mythic raid boss on crack. Show them just how truly outrageous gems are when you're cheesegrating their faces off with them.