March of The Glorious Evolution! (April Fools game pitch)

So we're only just a few months from April Fools. In the tradition of Teemo and Cho-Gath flash-based renditions of classic games, I would like to pitch my own idea for this year's (potential) game:

The March of The Glorious Evolution!

The game would be a side-scrolling adventure in which you take on the mantle of Creator Viktor, who would pace at a reasonably fast rate towards the right side of the screen. As you pace, assorted types of enemies will bar your way; starting with normal humans, gradually replaced with jungle monsters, Void spawn and, finally, resistance forces. Through a diverse array of weapons and gadgets, you swat these enemies aside as you progress - utilising your shields to stave off damage and your gravity field to capture hostiles, who would then return to the battlefield as loyal servants!

As the saying goes, you can't stop progress!

...But I guess you can kind've delay it.

If a target ever manages to break through Viktor's wall of servants and deal serious damage to the Creator, he will retreat to his secret laboratory and weigh his options. And, heck, while he's there he may as well invest in some upgrades, right? I'll leave it to you guys to imagine up the possibilities, there. :P

If you manage to get the whole way through and defeat Jayce's entire puny resistance (like there's any doubt!), you get to start again in new game +, unlocking new upgrades, new champions to convert into battlecast and a couple of skins (Arcade Viktor, anyone? http://tinyurl.com/ps7925q )

"Witness the future of humanity as Viktor topples through a bunch of hostile forces and generally causes havoc. The best game ever invented by anyone, ever. 8/10" -IGN