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[Champion Concept] Drak, The Cursed Blacksmith (UPDATE 2)

Høustøn··3 votes·1,167 views

OLDER LINK: http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/8P3U9Hr6-champion-concept-drak-the-wanderer OLD LINK: http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/7pm3rwhB-champion-concept-drak-the-adventurer-updated

Drak, The Cursed Blacksmith Fighter/Tank Drak is a tall, somewhat bulky champion, with the body height and muscle similar to the new Shen rework. He wears tarnished metal armor with brown leather pants, boots, and gloves, with a red scarf, under a long coat. He carries a large Greatsword on his back , also scratched and used. He has shoulder-length rugged looking brown parted hair with brown eyes, and a tan complexion with stubble. He has a sarcastic and humorous attitude, with a slight amount of cockiness at times.

Backstory (Not going to go into making a lore, but here's his story) Drak was friends with Garen and Taric before leaving Demacia, learning battle techniques from Garen, and much about nature/etc. from Taric. He always had a passion in battle, adventure, and nature. His father was a Blacksmith for Demacia, and taught Drak everything about it since he was born. Drak was fascinated with Blacksmithing, and worked countless hours to learn as much as he could about it. He takes lots of pride in things he does and creates. Once he decided he wanted more to life than forging armor/weapons for Demacia, he decided to leave, wanting to learn as much about Runeterra as possible. His first stop was Piltover, and he became good friends with Jayce, learning more from him. [LORE INCOMING SOON]

Stats Health: 610 (+80 per level) Attack Damage: 60 (+4 per level) Attack Speed: 0.625 (+2% per level) Movement Speed: 340 Health Regen: 8 (+.75 per level) Armor: 25 (+2.5 per level) Magic Resist: 32 (+ 1.25 per level)

Abilities

Resource: Fury

PASSIVE Blacksmith's Training: Every 100 gold increases Blacksmith's Training by X points, up to X points. When at X points, you will have the option to upgrade your armor/tools, such as giving you armor, MR, slow effects with autos, bleed damage, ect. When upgraded, Blacksmith's Training is reset to 0.

Q Triple Slash: Drak slices 3 times in a target direction with his sword, to the side dealing physical damage, upwards interrupting the enemy, and downwards stunning their target for a short time. [Used like Riven Q]

W Anchor: Drak uses an augment to his boots to root himself to the ground, unable to be moved, and getting increased resists for a short time.

E Hammer Smack: Drak pulls out his blacksmith's hammer and hits the target with it, dealing physical damage and slowing their target.

R Blacksmith's Curse: Drak's curse takes effect on him, making his bones and skin metal, giving him increased resists, damage, and applies a slow effect on each hit.

Some Item Builds For Drak: Top: item 3009 item 3748 item 3071 item 3068 item 3065 item 3742 item 3009 item 3071 item 3068 item 3065 item 3742 item 3053 Jungle: item 1413 item 3117 item 3748 item 3071 item 3068 item 3065 item 1413 item 3009 item 3071 item 3068 item 3065 item 3742

Some skin ideas could be:

Gentleman/Debonair Drak

Dragonslayer Drak (DRAKonslayer?)

Some kind of RPG Themed Drak skin

Blacksmith Drak

Steel Legion Drak

Armor of the Fifth Age Drak?

Here is the fan art I made for him. I didn't make this picture fresh, I used multiple different pictures, but I couldn't find the maker of them. (I didn't add a face because I was just making main details of him). And please, criticize this as much as needed. I want this to be the best i can do. I appreciate all the support/help people have been giving me on this, as it's my first concept. Also possibly some actual fan art to come :)

http://i.imgur.com/lc1iZVS.jpg

15 Comments

ModEchoing4 votes

Well, it's progress.

Being resourceless is an incredibly huge boon for anyone not building mana. Resourceless champions tend to have abilities that are much simpler and, in general, have less power than their mana-fueled counterparts to make up for that. That's kinda really important, since you've loaded way too much power into his Q and W - Q having two types of CC, one of which can't be cleansed/resisted by tenacity, and W basically emulating the significant part of Olaf's ultimate without having a terribly good justification. These are way, way too powerful.

The problem there, though, is that you quickly run out of interesting things about Drak after those two abilities. The E is incredibly generic, and the ult is still a relatively dull (although alarmingly effective) steroid. I'm still not sold on why I'd take Drak over Garen or Olaf.

Without any further details on the passive, I can't judge its usefulness. 50 autoattacks is not hard to make, though - you'll quickly fill this up, especially if you're jungling with Bloodrazor.

You're sold on the blacksmith part, if nothing else. Heavily focus on that. Make everything revolve around that. Actual blacksmithing, mind, not this silly "HA HA HA I HAVE A CURSE IN MY GEAR" silliness that comprises your silly ult. I'd probably drop the sword and switch to some sort of tricked-out hammer to better play up the blacksmith theme. Figure out something that makes your blacksmith more unique than some other blacksmith - you like the dragon theme a lot as well, so I'd suggest you play that up a lot more. Does he work with dragon parts, making one-of-a-kind masterpieces? Does he work WITH dragons, creating equipment meant for a dragon's use? Does he have a tunnel-vision focus on dragons, forging gear either draconic in nature and design or gear specifically meant to kill dragons? You're ignoring the backstory and lore, but that's the best way to get ideas on what your dude can actually do.

I'll keep watching, don't worry. It's still a pretty good step up from before, and your next step should be even better.

Høustøn1 votes

Eh I'm not really focusing him around Dragons, I just couldn't think of something else to use. But I'll see what I can think of with his abilities. Do you have any tips?

Høustøn1 votes

Also I appreciate you taking time into reading these, and helping me out. And I just changed the abilities a bit

ModEchoing2 votes

The changes you made haven't fixed too much. He's still got the incredibly powerful CC immunity on a basic and is still suffering from the same thematic issues as before.

Some tips on working through the blacksmith theme:

  1. Ditch the unique resource. Go back to mana. You can still have the passive thing, but replacing the mana bar is a bad idea that gives you too much power and would tilt an otherwise-fine champion into excessively powerful.

  2. Focus on what a blacksmith does. They're generally defined by their ability to create or enhance things.

  3. Focus on what your intended role is supposed to do. There's several subsets of melee champions. Riot's identified Divers, who have high damage and mobility and below-average staying power, Wardens, who stay in the middle of a fight and peel off enemies from allies, and Juggernauts, slow-moving yet bulky champions that deal impressive damage once they get to the fight. Blacksmith doesn't work out great for diving, barring some weird thematics. Focusing on being a Warden or a Juggernaut would be a good idea, but for the purpose of this exercise and to fit what you've already got, let's go with Juggernaut.

  4. Focus on champions within that specific subset. Skarner and Mordekaiser aren't exactly sterling examples, but Garen, Darius, and Nasus define Juggernauts pretty handily. They're all characterized by poor mobility (Garen's Q being an outlier) and significant DPS to nearby targets, both with area-of-effect attacks around themselves and powerful autoattacks. You'll want to make sure your champion has similar (not the same, though!) tools so as to be able to fill the same role.

  5. Focus on what would make your champion different. Nasus is famed for his infinite stacking, while Garen and Darius are pretty heavy on spinning and executions. Your blacksmith thematic is actually pretty helpful here - you can create a Juggernaut with limited support ability. Probably not enough to be a full support, but enough that you can carve out a niche for yourself.

  6. Start making stuff happen. You'll need some way to keep your autoattacks relevant - Garen and Nasus use on-hit effects, while Darius also adds on a bleed on each hit. On-hits, therefore, are not a bad idea. Assuming you take my earlier suggestion and go for a hammer (and you should, hammers are AWESOME), you can grab an on-hit that smashes a large area around the target. You could also employ the dreaded three-hit passive and take out a good chunk of armor with each activation, making you a more dangerous threat if allowed to stay on a target. Both methods would work in making your AAs fearsome.

You'll need to give up most mobility that isn't move-speed boosting if you want to fit the Juggernaut model - not a bad thing, since this lets you load more power into your other moves. You might want some staying power, but you might also want to support your allies at the same time. You could employ a move - some sort of dragon-based powder, maybe - that boosts the defenses of allies in an area around you. Specifically, it could be a flat bonus to resists, or a much-sharper boost that instead breaks off one stack at a time when struck by champion or large monster attacks. The latter would provide for more compelling and interesting gameplay, and if you play up your passive, can provide room for further upgrades.

You'll need an ult that hammers home the fact that you're a blacksmith. If you keep the dragon theme going - and honestly, you probably should, the potential is pretty awesome - you could conjure forth some sort of dragonfire forge that grants every ally in the effect extra on-hit damage that, much like the theoretical defense boost, degrades over use. You'll end up with a Juggernaut that is very team-oriented and centers around improving his team's overall capability in battle.

You probably shouldn't follow everything I just suggested to the letter (especially since then you're short an E), but it's a pretty good starting point. Regardless, the passive has potential. I'd definitely be far more specific about what it can do and how to build it up, and narrow its effects down to upgrading your abilities instead of adding arbitrary stats.

Lot of promise. I'll keep watching.

Høustøn1 votes

{quoted}

The changes you made haven't fixed too much. He's still got the incredibly powerful CC immunity on a basic and is still suffering from the same thematic issues as before.

Some tips on working through the blacksmith theme:

  1. Ditch the unique resource. Go back to mana. You can still have the passive thing, but replacing the mana bar is a bad idea that gives you too much power and would tilt an otherwise-fine champion into excessively powerful.

  2. Focus on what a blacksmith does. They're generally defined by their ability to create or enhance things.

  3. Focus on what your intended role is supposed to do. There's several subsets of melee champions. Riot's identified Divers, who have high damage and mobility and below-average staying power, Wardens, who stay in the middle of a fight and peel off enemies from allies, and Juggernauts, slow-moving yet bulky champions that deal impressive damage once they get to the fight. Blacksmith doesn't work out great for diving, barring some weird thematics. Focusing on being a Warden or a Juggernaut would be a good idea, but for the purpose of this exercise and to fit what you've already got, let's go with Juggernaut.

  4. Focus on champions within that specific subset. Skarner and Mordekaiser aren't exactly sterling examples, but Garen, Darius, and Nasus define Juggernauts pretty handily. They're all characterized by poor mobility (Garen's Q being an outlier) and significant DPS to nearby targets, both with area-of-effect attacks around themselves and powerful autoattacks. You'll want to make sure your champion has similar (not the same, though!) tools so as to be able to fill the same role.

  5. Focus on what would make your champion different. Nasus is famed for his infinite stacking, while Garen and Darius are pretty heavy on spinning and executions. Your blacksmith thematic is actually pretty helpful here - you can create a Juggernaut with limited support ability. Probably not enough to be a full support, but enough that you can carve out a niche for yourself.

  6. Start making stuff happen. You'll need some way to keep your autoattacks relevant - Garen and Nasus use on-hit effects, while Darius also adds on a bleed on each hit. On-hits, therefore, are not a bad idea. Assuming you take my earlier suggestion and go for a hammer (and you should, hammers are AWESOME), you can grab an on-hit that smashes a large area around the target. You could also employ the dreaded three-hit passive and take out a good chunk of armor with each activation, making you a more dangerous threat if allowed to stay on a target. Both methods would work in making your AAs fearsome.

You'll need to give up most mobility that isn't move-speed boosting if you want to fit the Juggernaut model - not a bad thing, since this lets you load more power into your other moves. You might want some staying power, but you might also want to support your allies at the same time. You could employ a move - some sort of dragon-based powder, maybe - that boosts the defenses of allies in an area around you. Specifically, it could be a flat bonus to resists, or a much-sharper boost that instead breaks off one stack at a time when struck by champion or large monster attacks. The latter would provide for more compelling and interesting gameplay, and if you play up your passive, can provide room for further upgrades.

You'll need an ult that hammers home the fact that you're a blacksmith. If you keep the dragon theme going - and honestly, you probably should, the potential is pretty awesome - you could conjure forth some sort of dragonfire forge that grants every ally in the effect extra on-hit damage that, much like the theoretical defense boost, degrades over use. You'll end up with a Juggernaut that is very team-oriented and centers around improving his team's overall capability in battle.

You probably shouldn't follow everything I just suggested to the letter (especially since then you're short an E), but it's a pretty good starting point. Regardless, the passive has potential. I'd definitely be far more specific about what it can do and how to build it up, and narrow its effects down to upgrading your abilities instead of adding arbitrary stats.

Lot of promise. I'll keep watching.

Is there any way I could contact you outside of this? Like Skype? I'd like to talk to you personally about this stuff

ModEchoing1 votes

Yeah, my Skype username is restlessextinguisher. With any luck, posting this here won't get me attention from He Who Must Not Be Criticized.

Tamur1 votes

Can you review some of my champion concepts

Jabba Deez Huts3 votes

I thought this was great and such an original design!

ModEchoing2 votes

I don't mean to be an ass, OP, but this is the exact kind of feedback you have to be incredibly careful about. Note the complete lack of specifics - he doesn't mention the passive, the dragon/blacksmith theming, or even the picture. It's very likely he's just as in the dark about what makes a good champion as you, and letting this kind of feedback get to your head holds you back from improving.

It's nice, but don't assume your design is perfect since nearly every champion can attract a post like this.

Bobo1132 votes

You'd be surprised - I get a lot more of your kinds of posts than anything. Sometimes people are impressed with the workload, and don't need to nitpick what they see. At least they recognize the time and effort put into this, and want the creator to know that they appreciate what they do. . .

MrXonte1 votes

you can still compliment parts of the kit that were great, but his concept is lacking quite a bit and not all that great. no e, passiv has no numbers yet (although interesting), w seems incredibly boring (would be a lot more exciting if he roots himself and couldnt be applied any cc for the duration), q as it is seems like a riven q that cant be used as well, ult is a self buff but not very interesting since burn damage doesnt fit the kit someone who looks like he will build AS for his passive. In generel since no numbers are given i would build him much more aggressive and less tanky.

Bobo1132 votes

Oh of course. I'm not saying the kit is perfect by any means. It's just the nature of the boards to point that kind of stuff out, and every once and a while, all it takes is a vague compliment to help you continue and improve rather than giving up. All I'm saying is to not throw the baby out with the water here.

Høustøn1 votes

{quoted}

Oh of course. I'm not saying the kit is perfect by any means. It's just the nature of the boards to point that kind of stuff out, and every once and a while, all it takes is a vague compliment to help you continue and improve rather than giving up. All I'm saying is to not throw the baby out with the water here.

I don't plan on giving this up until it's near perfect (which is a long ways away) I'll stay on it.

Tamur1 votes

PASSIVE Blacksmith's Training: Every auto attack increases Blacksmith's Training by X points, up to X points. When at X points, you will have the option to upgrade a piece of your items for x seconds, such as more armor, more MR, more AD, slow effects with autos, bleed damage, ect. When upgraded, Blacksmith's Training is reset to 0.

Made some changes to this so you can see what I wanted to say but I couldn't get the sentence to form the way I wanted it to.

Q Triple Slash: Drak slices 3 times in a target direction with his sword, to the side dealing physical damage, upwards interrupting the enemy, and downwards stunning their target for a short time.

Does this work like Varus' Q where you have to hold to charge it or like Riven's Q wjere you have to press it 3 times?

W Anchor: Drak uses a secret add on to his boots to root himself to the ground, unable to be moved, and getting increased resists for a short time.

Interesting

E [thinking on something]

This would be a great place for a trap or some sort of device

R Blacksmith's Curse: Drak uses a curse, turning his sword into a cursed weapon, dealing increased damage and fire damage over time with his attacks, and his armor into cursed armor, giving attackers burn damage and reduced armor/MR

This needs to be a buff for you and neaby allies and renamed War Cry Hero's Call or something like that.

I agree he doesn't need a unique resource and mana might not be the right choice either. I would choose from either Mana , Energy or Fury.

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