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{Champion suggestion} Mary Aunette, The Puppet Master.

dustwind8·10/7/2014, 6:33:28 PM·2 votes·1,554 views

Lore : If you Have time, grab a seat and a drink and I shall tell you a tale of the last of the Aunettes. Are you comfortable? Good.

Before this land was plagued with war , before monsters of un-imaginary power broke into our world through the Void, Before the being of Darkness and Light treaded the land so freely. There existed a traveling Clan, of entertainers, the Reoll clan. They were a talented bunch who were know to be the best entertainers of the times. They had people who could control the elements, Beings seemingly made of Stardust, Master Tamers and much more. To protect their talents they needed the strongest warriors. They sought after the Aunette clan, the most capable defenders for them. The two clans knew their limitations, they would help each other but never would the clans become one.

A strong young man of the Aunette clan decided to forgo this agreement though in order to marry a young talented puppeteer from the Reoll clan. Both clans were uneasy about this but allowed it to happen. Bethany, to mother became an Aunette, and together they had a child, Mary. Bethany noticed that from the time Mary could walk, she was fascinated by puppets. Bethany decided to teach Mary how to use them, in the hopes that Mary could bridge the uneasiness and bring the clans together . Mary mastered puppeteering at the age of 4, and, with Bethany’s begging her father, Mary became a star.

Mary quickly became famous by the age of 6, Doing things with puppets that no one could ever dream of. She eclipsed all the other performers quickly and the unrest was growing within their ranks. They plotted how best to bring down this Aunette atrocity. Some performers felt the uneasiness and left the clan, forsaking their names.

A month later, on Mary’s Nameday, the Reoul’s hired mercenaries to become their new bodyguards and to eliminate the Aunettes once and for all. So in the dead of night the mercenaries, lead by their Master of combat. descended upon the warriors. The fighting awoke Mary and her parents and her father ran out to help while her mother stood guard. Mary witnessed the atrocities herself. Her father, fighting 7 men was pushed back into the tent and swiftly run through. Her mother did all she could but 4 mercenaries were still standing. At this point the young Mary and her fragile mind couldn’t accept what was happening.

Mary could not remember what happened but I can say that by the time I walked into her tent I found 6 dead mercenaries and a 7 year old holding up a puppet. I threw out my arms and assured her that everything would be okay. At this point she passed out. I knew that this girl was special. She was touched with a gift and our destinies were tied. I took her to a place where I could help her recover. Her body recovered quickly but her mind was damaged permanently.

I taught her to fight, how to survive off the land. She never spoke during any of this training. I unlocked magical potential inside of her the help empower herself while fighting. She fused it within her weapon of choice, her puppets. Only two of them survived that night, and she would never want to leave them alone. I decided to do something for her that she would never forget.

5 years after the tragedy I took her puppets away in the dead of night. I brought them to the place of her parents death and performed a sacred ritual. All of the damage done to the puppets vanished and I felt the pulse of life within the wood.

When I returned to her she was furious! She attacked me with everything she could, then she say what I was holding. She shouted at me, “GIVE THEM BACK!” So I did, I gave her these puppets. Immediately she shouted “MAMA! PAPA!” And hugged the puppets. That night as I slept she left me. She took all the skills I taught her and left on her own into the woods, her mom on her back, and her dad in her arms. Life flowing through them all once again.


Base Stats:

HP : 420(+82)
HP/5 : 6.5(+0.7)
MP : 194(+38)
MP/5 : 6.8(+.7)
AD : 48(+3.7)
AS : 0.668(+2.6%)
AR : 18(3.5)
MR : 30(+0)
MS : 340
Range : 550

Selection quote : I'll pull the strings!

I envision Mary as a slender youngish (16-19) woman in a purple tattered cloak. She’d have some snow white/blond hair visible under the hood. Her face will have some scars from cuts. Her Arms would be wrapped in a bandage made of string. Beneath her cloak is the Yordle sized puppet, but you can only see it as a small lump. She would Cradle her main attack puppet in one arm. Personally i would play her as a jungler.

Passive : Show Time : Both of Mary’s puppets grant Mary a 5/8/12/17% life steal at levels 1/6/12/18, against monsters and minions. ALL life steal is halved against champions.


Q : (Skill shot) Mary throw out a set of strings suspending the first target hit in the air for 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 seconds, preventing all movement, attacks, and abilities. Immediately applies a bleed ability that deals 15/30/45/60/75(+10% AD)(Total=60/150/225/300/375+50%AD) damage over time(5 second). This ability can hit monsters and minions.
If the strings hit an allied ward she will pull herself directly to that ward.

An enemy champion may come over to the target (within 100 units) and click (cut) the target down (.25 seconds) halting the stun and removing 50% of the remaining bleed.

Name : High Strung
Mana cost : 40/50/60/70/80
Cool down : 11 seconds
Cast range : 1000
Q quote : Let’s hang!
Animation : Thrusts her hand forward tossing out four thin strings that are white with a slight pink aura. Whatever gets struck has a Cross Bar is placed over it for the duration of the stun.

W : Passive: When Mary's puppet becomes empowered it may attack Champions, towers, inhibitors, and the nexus.

Active : (AOE cast) Mary tosses a Yordle sized puppet off her back that can be controlled by recasting the ability. within a 500 unit circle (only you can see the circle). The puppet has 50% all of her stats, except for Attack Speed and Movement Speed which gradually decrease to 50% in the last 5 seconds. Upon landing the first time, the puppet deals 30/55/80/105/130(+40%AD) damage in a 400 unit circle. This damage is doubled against monsters and minions. If the puppet leaves the circle for one second it will jump to the mouse (if within the circle) or right in front of Mary. The puppet can only attack minions, and creatures. not champions (Tibers and other summons/clones count as creatures) but it can block skill shots for Mary The puppet's attacks heal itself at half Mary's life steal rates.

Name : Trickery Duration : 8/11/14/17/20 seconds Mana cost : 60/70/80/90/100 Cool down : 24 seconds (starts upon cast) Cast range : 500 W quote : Mother protect me! Animation : Mary reaches behind her with her right hand and pulls a Yordle sized puppet off her back. The puppet is dressed in a similar fashion to herself(kept in theme with the skin). Notes : The lump on Mary's back goes away if the puppet has been cast, there are no noticeable strings connecting this puppet to Mary.


E : (AOE click) Lays down a tripwire trap that when triggered (65 unit area) will cause the opponent to trip, Slowing their movement speed by 40/50/60/70/80% plus reveal sight on the tripper (300/500/700/900/1100 unit sight) for 1/1.5/2/2.5/3 seconds. Near by opponents are also slowed (200 range), but they do not get sight placed on them. Minions cant trigger but monsters can trigger these.

Name : It’s A Trip!
Cool down : 18/16/14/12/10/8
duration of trap : 5 minutes
Mana cost : 60
Max : 3 traps
E quote : Time for a trip.
Animation : Mary leans over and swings her arm. A white/greyish(pale red on the murder bridge) line is placed on the ground. The line will gleam on occasion while opponent has sight on it. so opponents can see it.
Notes : The string has a slight grey and red sheen to it that is noticeable if paying attention.

R : ("Skill Shot") Mary throws out her Yordle sized puppet in the direction of the cursor. If it hits an enemy champion the puppet grows and pulls the enemy inside for 2 seconds, gaining a 50% boost in it's movement speed. The target inside takes 100/150/200(+50%AD) damage per second, After 2 seconds the puppet shoots the enemy out in the direction they are facing (50 units) if they hit any terrain they get stunned for .5 seconds. If the target dies within 10 seconds of being released, both puppets will become Empowered. Both puppets turn into miniature versions of the killed champion. Your puppets deals bonus 50% of killed champions' ad as their own over 10/15/20 seconds. This ability passes through minions and monsters.

Name : Master of puppets. Mana cost : 100/110/120 Cool down : 120/110/100 Cast range : 700 R quote : Get them father! Animation : Mary throws out the Yordle sized puppet. The puppet has it’s arms stretched out and wraps them around the first champion hit and then dragged inside itself. It will waddle around as it walks. Notes : This ability can be cast at any time, If her Yordle sized puppet is out it it will travel from where it is to the location. If it isn't out she will trow it in a straight line from off her back. The duration of the puppet is reset. This ability can be cast even if the W is on cool down, this will reset the cool down timer.

27 Comments

RedtheCrimson10/7/2014, 10:37:51 PM2 votes

I think her ult is a bit too close to a blitz grab or thresh hook. I kinda think instead of pulling the enemy behind her, the puppet that hits the enemy should turn into a iron maiden of sorts, dealing massive damage while applying DoT to the enemy caught. To make this not broken, you could make the enemy intargetable while in the iron maiden though :P

Also, it would be great to know what roles you would like her to fill, I'm guessing mid or support?

I like her Q, W, and E though, they feel solid and feel to mesh well with the whole puppet string theme. I almost wanna say her abilities would be better suited for a garotte user.

Flay and Pray10/7/2014, 9:56:41 PM1 votes

Sounds a bit too much like orianna in character design, but it works. I think you should spend a bit more time organizing it to make it a bit more readable. I think its a pretty good gameplay design with interesting mechanics, although I would spend a lot more time on the quotes and definitely the lore. I might leave some more suggestions later, it's a pretty good idea.

dustwind810/11/2014, 10:18:21 PM1 votes

anyone who wants to criticize, feel free to, please =) I don't mind explaining anything and i am willing to make changes if i like the input

dustwind810/13/2014, 8:38:05 PM1 votes

updated the R though i swear i did that earlier O_O, please feel free to say ANYTHING about this champion if it is your honest opinion.

dustwind810/26/2014, 4:25:22 AM1 votes

i wish more people would give feedback

Flintfall11/4/2014, 1:29:24 PM1 votes

A puppeteer is always cool to see, usually they have some really interesting mechanics!

#Lore

Interesting hook you used, it's kind of a risky one though as it either grabs or attention or it doesn't, there isn't usually a middle ground in that sense.

One of the things I noticed is that the narrator plays a part in her story, and I know nothing about him. You set him up as a key character, and I'm left with a vague sense that he is a shaman? I really want to know more about him/her (another thing I don't know), what compelled him/her to raise Mary.

Another thing is that the clans seem a bit confusing to me. They seem like experienced, traditioned people with set in customs and philosophies. It just seems a bit too convenient that they just allow the marriage despite the fact that neither side approved of it. Personally it would make more sense if they were ostracized or something of the sort.

Final thought, when Mary sees her parents killed she becomes very quiet and reserved, which is natural. However, since she was 12 when she received the parents' puppets, I would assume she not only matured but she would realize the abomination that was her puppets. To me she was never a disturbed child, so it be a bit shocking to some people when they read the last few paragraphs. I would perhaps have her take the puppets quietly then leave, or something along those lines as it is more in theme for her.

If you have any light to shed on these topics I'd really like to know, whenever I get mixed vibes it's usually because there was some error in translation (so to speak).

#Kit

Nice kit, though I find it odd that the W puppet cannot attack champions usually despite its paltry stats. Anyway, here are some suggestions:

  • W: Make Trickery able to attack champions at all times, no reason for it not being able to.

  • Ultimate: have them get pulled in for 2 seconds because that is crazy cc, also do you have stats for the ultimate's puppet? That would help me a ton!

  • E: I would just leave the the cooldown at 14 seconds, as scaling down traps aren't exactly easy to balance (late game you immediately dominate vision in an area.

  • E: I would add in a cap of 4~ traps so that you can't just wall off an entire area.

Overall I think that this is a solid concept, just needs a bit of polishing to really make it shine! If you have any questions, or would like to add on to anything here or elaborate on some ideas I am always ready to discuss!

dustwind811/4/2014, 11:55:46 PM1 votes

If you have any light to shed on these topics I'd really like to know, whenever I get mixed vibes it's usually because there was some error in translation (so to speak).

Making a story/creative writing was never my strongest point in class, but i tried my best. The person telling the story is another champion i am working on. For his lore I have Mary telling someone what she has found out about him.

As for the clan thing... It was really only one clan who was opposed to this. I would need help to make that clearer in the lore but i dont know anyone who is good with the creative writing aspect. This is how it is in my head... When Mary's mother married, she was basically no longer considered part of the Reoll clan. Even so she still has family on the Reoll side. This in turn is what really sparked the Reoll clan to want to get rid of her family and all the Aunettes.

She always had the puppets, and her mind never recovered from the trauma of seeing her parents killed, nor her subconscious memory of killing people herself. Those two puppets are the only memory of her parents and it wasnt until she thought this man took her puppets away that she could speak again. I envision it as she momentarily felt like her family was ripped away again, that's what snapped her back, but once she saw what this man has done, she could see her parents souls inside the puppets. That is why she grabbed them. She still hated this man for what he did that night and she left him.


The reason i had her W working this way was to prevent her from being able to be a huge lane bully at level 1. It'd be too strong to use that puppet and constantly deny farm/counter play from an enemy ADC by having that puppet in their face at all times. This is solely to try and keep it in balance.

I agree with you that her R is too long and i will change the numbers a little. The Puppet used for it is the yordle sized one. So the stats would be the same as that one. 

I thought i put a max for her E i guess i forgot thanks for pointing it out... I don't want to put 4 max because that would allow you to place one at each buff point if you are counter jungling... I actually intended for the max to be 2... this would force you to prioritize your placements.
dustwind811/18/2014, 11:21:26 PM1 votes

bump

KasroctheGreat11/19/2014, 2:25:47 AM1 votes

Wow really nice lore. I like the abilities but the q and ult seem a bit broken to me (btw idk if meant to have the Metallica reference but its nice!). A really cool concept though. If you could do you think you could check out my champion concept and his lore? And if you could review some of the lore because I am not the best at writing. http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/oy9AABB2-champion-concept-kasroc-the-great Have a nice day :)

Talon Gerrard11/19/2014, 3:52:55 AM1 votes

I love the idea of puppet master champs. I even posted one myself. Had the idea for a long time but had just recently refined it. He's in the featured list on the Librarium's page ( http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/eeTGjrhl-champion-concept-cervius-the-puppet-master). But, this is a very interesting concept, indeed, and I enjoyed reading it.

dustwind811/19/2014, 4:05:16 AM1 votes

Have a nice day :)

Hey thanks for the review. If you could, please explain how the abilities are broken in your opinion, because i would like to know.

The problems people have said (in both the old forum post and this one) is that the Q's stun was too long at max level, so i added the whole cut down effect, which means in a team fight the abilities effectiveness is greatly reduced, plus it is a skill shot, so if you miss it then you get 0 benefit. it also adds to her mobility so she could use it to escape or even catch up to an enemy.

The R is an ability that is harder to balance, but i wanted to be able to have her presence known. So if you land this skill shot you get the pay off... if you miss you don't get any form of pay off. I am open to criticism though. I already revamped the ult completely once... It used to act as a blitz pull, but it was all together a weak ultimate ability.

So any input is always considered into everything. Once again thank you for your input.

dustwind811/20/2014, 5:48:01 PM1 votes

Taking a look at your concept now Talon Gerrard

dustwind811/23/2014, 6:29:09 PM1 votes

bump

dustwind811/27/2014, 8:42:20 AM1 votes

bump

dustwind810/7/2014, 6:34:42 PM1 votes

Original thread : http://forums.na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=4878432&highlight=

edit notes

@2:11 pm 19/09/2014 Q : attempted to make duration clearer W : switched ap for ad AND buffed puppet's health from 25% to 50 % E : added duration for trap changed selection quote

@4:48 pm 20/09/2014 Added reveal range to "e"

@8:48 pm 22/09/2014 added new addition to the q ability (might revert) added duration to vision given on enemy from e ability

@7:19 pm 23/09/2014 reduced bleed duration to 5 (from 10) added an effect to Q for enemies removed AP ratio on R and lowered AD ratio to 50% (from 60%)

@1:11 pm 27/09/2014 Added a passive to W and removed normal ability to attack towers added an AOE effect to W, might play with the numbers a little R clarification on the empowered effect on the puppets.

@5:38 pm 29/09/2014 Retyped all abilities, hopefully making things clearer and easier to understand. Q : Upped the bleed damage from 10/30/50/70/90(+35%AD) to 15/30/45/60/75(+40% AD) Added a .5 second action to cut down ally Modified damage reduction of being cut down from 50-25

W : Increased damage from Puppet AOE from 10/30/50/70/100(+20% AD) to 15/40/65/90/115(+20%AD) Made the cooldown a flat 24 seconds

E : Increased slow, added sight to all levels, ADDED DURATION (donno how i missed that XD)

R : Added some damage when pulled through terrain. Increased damage output from ability cast on marked target Reduced mana cost by 50

WILL REDO LORE AND SWAP IT WITH THE EDIT LIST.

@2:57 pm 04/10/2014 Q : fixed the bonus AD damage dealt per second (I accidentally had the total overall in there as the D/s) added in totals for damage dealt

@1:34 pm 07/10/2014 transferred Mary to the new Forum. Edited typos in lore.

@3:56 PM 09/10/2014

Changed Mary's ultimate ability

@5:56 PM 04/11/2014

Reduced her R's suppression duration to 2 seconds Added max amount of traps to E (oops XD)

@9:56PM 18/11/2014

Q : shortened enemy cut down duration to .25 seconds

Pollyanna Wright12/14/2014, 6:30:39 AM1 votes

Q: Seems like an ultimate like Malz. Personally I think just immobilizing them is kinda boring when I would want to control them and Puppet them around.

W: Why is the passive here? It can only empower from ult, you don't need that. I feel like the only problem with this is that it can't interact with enemies unless it gets empowered, which is lame.

E : Interesting. I like this as the idea for how she uses her strings.

R : How exactly is this working with W? I thought they are separate puppets? The stun feels superfluous and as an assassination tool it seems weak. You have to kill somebody to get your puppets to hurt them. Seems weird.