I raged at a flamer and that set him on the straight and narrow...

Just kidding, that NEVER happens.

What to do when someone is flaming:

1. Make 1 (one, uno, singular) attempt to politely disarm. "My bad, I'll work on it."
2. State politely, that you are muting, but don't actually do it. "Okay just going to mute you now." Do not respond to further comments. Sometimes believing they no longer have an audience is enough to shut them up, and you won't miss out on valuable info they might have later.
3. If flaming continues, actually mute.
4. If ever step 1 fails, always report after the game. No need to warn the flamer. No need to ask for others to report. Only you can prevent forest fires.