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Unward's MUR doctrine for dealing with bullshit reports.

Unward49·10/30/2015, 11:29:31 PM·4 votes·3,193 views

So here's what I'm going to do Riot.

MUR stands for Massive-Unreasonable-Retaliation

Every time I get that stupid warning of "you have been reported, blah blah blah" I'm going to not only report everyone on my team, I'm going to report everyone on the enemy team as well. But that's not all, I'm going to report everyone in the next game as well, and the game after that, and the game after that until I run into someone who I think is deserving of being called a decent human being.

It might take an unreasonably long time for that to happen of course.

Your report system is bullshit. It always has been and it always will be and I guarantee is the source of far more toxicity that it prevents. How many people have had a frustrating game and then decided to troll their next game JUST BECAUSE they got reported in their previous game. I know I have. I do it all the time, because fuck those stupid %%%%s who reported me unjustly. If I can't have satisfaction against them, then fuck the next jackholes who have to deal with me.

And I'm very creative about how I troll. I can absolutely 100% guarantee that my team will lose the game, but you will never notice it in my chat history or even in my stats. I can throw a game with the best of them and I do, just because some prick had the temerity to report me in game. You made me when you introduced this system Riot. I was a pretty decent and reasonable gamer by all accounts before this fucking tribunal bullshit happened, but now I am unleashed.

Was I an angel, no, not by your standards, just a very mildly over enthusiastic gamer with the occasional tendency to call other players bad at the game. Now I'm a full on troll in at least 40% of the games I play. I know what I am and I do not apologize. You created me and I'm sure thousands like me.

What are you going to do about it?

80 Comments

elduris10/31/2015, 12:18:27 AM8 votes

Keep in mind that spamming reports makes them worthless very quickly and won't even be detected by the behavioral systems. You may even encounter further account restrictions for abusing the report feature.

I'm sorry if you think you were falsely reported. It happens sometimes, even I'm reported in 1.9% of all my games. Stay positive and you have nothing to worry about. Continue this negative tirade and you're probably going to be banned very quickly.

EvilDustMan10/30/2015, 11:42:56 PM5 votes

Your reports will mean absolutely nothing after the first set, no one will get punished, and Riot will probably tell you to stop.

You are not a victim. You are not doing this out of justice. You are not the Punisher. You are not even the stupid hamdark Punisher. You are just someone taking a stray report too far.

Because if you got banned or suspended, it wasn't from trolling reports, you can bet your ass.

EvilDustMan10/30/2015, 11:53:19 PM4 votes

Then what, honestly, are you hoping to accomplish here? You know you aren't going to get Riot to make some sort of broad sweeping change by trying to troll the report system. And best you'll get a slap on the wrist, at worst they'll give your account a closer glance and you'll get banned or suspended.

What do you want here?

ModUlanopo10/31/2015, 12:19:47 AM4 votes

Your report system is bullshit. It always has been and it always will be and I guarantee is the source of far more toxicity that it prevents. How many people have had a frustrating game and then decided to troll their next game JUST BECAUSE they got reported in their previous game. I know I have.

I'm curious why you think it's bullshit. They go to a lot of effort to weed out false reports and you admit yourself that you're no angel. Is it because you believe that reports should be invalidated in certain circumstances?

I do it all the time, because fuck those stupid %%%%s who reported me unjustly. If I can't have satisfaction against them, then fuck the next jackholes who have to deal with me.

What constitutes an "unjust" report in your mind?

Busty Demoness10/31/2015, 9:22:13 AM2 votes

OP, I've noticed several things that tell me that you are on the road towards a permanent ban.

One, you state yourself that your "retaliation" actions are unreasonable. Being unreasonable often escalates a situation, and an escalated situation is one that's all the more likely to end up with someone getting hit hard. The situation tells me that it's likely going to be you, in the form of a harsh punishment on your account.

Two, you want to insult players who perform badly, and even acknowledge that their poor performance isn't an offense that can be reported or banned. Yet at the same time, you want to be able to insult them without retribution. You say they're affecting your experience? Ok, so that's one player who is not enjoying the poor performance of their ally. How many players are going to have their experience affected by your raging? Four! Wow, that's something to consider. And that's not taking into account whether you take it to all chat either. You obviously have no sense of balance or cause and effect.

Three, you've been incredibly aggressive in all of your posts. You want us to believe that you're reasonable in real life? I'm going to remind you that being online is nothing but having a mask. A mask that most people can't see through, but it means that there are still people behind each one. Why do you think that being online is that different from real life? The medium of communication is different, sure. But that's really all it is. You're still talking to other people who are using the same internet, you just aren't looking at them face to face. You each have a mask.

And if you can't be bothered to read those, here's a TL;DR: Read the entire post.

Unward4910/30/2015, 11:55:04 PM1 votes

I want them to completely do away with the report system. I think it is counter productive to their goals. I am not alone in thinking that.

I think it is to behavioral modification what the TSA is to airline security. Pure theater.