I created an elaborate thread about flaming and anger on the EU forums
@ Riot and the community : Let's talk a bit about anger ( long thread )
Maybe you would like to take a look, I've put some effort into it, we can also discuss here if you want .
35 Comments
So here's the problem as I see it: you're conflating the emotion of anger with a specific expression of that emotion.
Anger is absolutely a natural emotion. Expressing that anger can absolutely be a healthy, natural, and positive thing. However, there are forms of expression that are neither healthy nor positive.
Specifically, flaming is a decidedly negative and unhealthy form of expression. It's harmful to both the flamer and the victim. As such, it's not considered to be acceptable behavior.
It's extremely unfortunate that some people don't learn healthy outlets for their anger - and I say that as a person who has had major and extreme anger management issues in the past. I still have problems with it, for that matter. But that doesn't - and shouldn't - make it acceptable to cause emotional harm to others.
Had some trouble posting this as a reply to a deeply nested conversation down there, so here you go:
I'm not "rude" because he's not apologizing . I'm "rude" because i let go off the tension that he created in the first place. And I explained so many goddamn times the reasons i and other people flame. Why are you putting words in my mouth ? The fact that people can in fact say sorry would release some of that tension by default . Without me having to do anything .
Barring extremely strong evidence to the contrary, someone making a misplay in League was not doing so to piss you off. Demanding that people apologize for misplays is absurd. They weren't doing it to you personally.
Well but this logic it means that you agree that someone flaming you is not an excuse for you to get upset.
- There's a difference between "getting upset" and taking out your anger on your teammates.
- No, person A flaming person B does not justify person B flaming them back. But neither does person A playing badly justify person B flaming them for it.
What you're trying to claim is "I'm justified in getting upset and yelling at people for playing badly, but they're not justified in getting upset when I yell at them". This is ridiculous. Someone has to lose every League match, and unless both teams are full of pros it's very likely that a huge number of mistakes or misplays were made throughout the match. It's not acceptable to yell and scream and berate your teammates for everything that goes wrong. You are welcome to CALMLY discuss strategy with your teammates -- even criticism is fine if it's delivered appropriately. Screaming insults at anyone who fucked up in your opinion is not okay.