Arrest the Shopkeeper!

MartianColony··16 votes·1,386 views
Blue Team Shopkeeper.jpg

Dear Relevant Runeterra Authorities,

The shopkeeper for the Blue Team on the Southwest corner of Summoner's Rift appears to be abusing an animal in relation to her business practices. The animal is weighted down with an unreasonable amount of weapons, armor, potions, and the like, which surely must be doing significant long term damage to its spinal cord. The shopkeeper can also be seen supporting a kiosk on top of the poor creatures tail, which she also frequently leans on! The creature is also muzzled with very tight straps, as well as having an iron band clamped to its tail. There is no discernible food or water nearby which the animal can easily access. This innocent animal is surely undergoing severe mental and physical harm at the hands of this careless Yordle shopkeeper. I ask that you consider placing charges against the shopkeeper and releasing the animal into the care of a qualified rehabilitation or conservation organization.

Thank you for your time,

-Concerned summoner

13 Comments

Anaithnid13 votes

On a side note: Please feed the rabbit the cereal those horrible kids have tormented him with. give it all the trix it can eat.

Blue Moon Wolf7 votes

And place a restraining order on those kids that keep hunting that poor leprechaun to steal his cereal.

Anaithnid2 votes

and place that cuckoo bird in the asylum, you know the one. But then again crazy things don't know their crazy, if he knows he's crazy he cant be crazy... crazy isn't it?

Blue Moon Wolf1 votes

I'm sure a few weeks in rehab will fix him right up :p

MrryZ4 votes

what's a summoner?

Anaithnid1 votes

You are the summoner. basically it's the one who picks the champion to force it to do their bidding and do things their way. sad really.

MrryZ2 votes

It's a joke because riot retconned the league so summoners don't exist anymore.

Ghoster241 votes

wait what, are you kidding me? KogMaw

Anaithnid1 votes

those jerks. keeping up with the storyline and giving the champions a REASON to be there was more than half the reason me and my friends played the game in the first game

MrryZ1 votes

This was quite a while ago...

Anaithnid1 votes

true, i started around S2. took a break, now vlad sucks when i get back. i dont really care they got rid of the spellvamp, but my playstyle was based on his E. now i have to change it entirely XD. used it to keep an eye on bushes and act as a sort of prior warning system. no need to "facecheck" bushes if u can just go opposite the wall to them and look that way by using his E.... guess his auto radar service is why it's now gone

TheFancySkeleton1 votes

{quoted}

what's a summoner?

Yorick He summons ghouls so I guess he's a summoner.

KevinDelMarr3 votes

What you fail to realize is that animal is a law abiding citizen choosing to exercise his/her right to open carry arms for its own protection.

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