When someone on your team instalocks Teemo in ranked

One of two things will happen;

1. Stays top the _entire _ game while the enemy toplaner is making tp plays and grouping and you lose because it's 4v5 while teemo gets caught out again and again trying to solo push. or
2. He gets first blood. Gets a kill every time the enemy comes back to lane. Kills everyone who comes to his lane to gank until the entire team is tilted to oblivion.

Usually it's the former.

and then he goes 0/432 in the first 5 min

If only i had some blue essence ; D

And somehow teemo wins his lane, and split pushes the team to victory.

In the middle lane

When someone has lvl 7 mastery on ....

Then a wild Ultimate appears and he realizes that he is https://a.disquscdn.com/get?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quickmeme.com%2Fimg%2F90%2F903e2947cff5f58d614656f3109ef4c3a387b0700916e2489ae2c0644cb2b608.jpg&key=cAdbit1VurislYEZ12mRJw

There are two and only two possible outcomes:

He gets first blood, is legendary by 10, has taken out all of the turrets by 30, ends the game 37/1/9, and carries

OR

Gives first blood, gets mad and feeds the top lane , all other lanes do well, but Since Teemo fed a Darius, you lose, Teemo ends the game 0/20/1