The Most Tragic Hero in League of Legends History
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**Prologue: **
An epic tale of sacrifice and blood had reached its tipping point. Our hero, the abyssal arthropod 
, had been a jungling beast both literal and figurative, creating advantages for his team, securing kills, and taking every objective he could. However, the enemy team's loathsome lycanthrope 
began asserting the null-counterplay nature of his post level-6 sneak attacks. The outlook was becoming more and more desperate, leading the voidal vermin to a crisis of conscience that threatened to drown the rift in blood....
"Why, that there drake was fine dinin' indeed. There's hope yet for your palate's development, li'l fly!"
"Kill, consume, adapt! Need more flesh!"
"Why Did The Dragon Stop? Why Do They All Stop When I Remove Their Pieces?"
"... Delightful. As much as I enjoy our post-dinner small talk, I believe I shall abscond to our base for my mastication."
<Despite having slain the great winged lizard, the evolved voidling was filled with unrest. That were-beast of woe was proving to be the superior jungler in lane pressure, global presence, and, most biting of all, KDA. A hunger beyond his base gluttony was rising within 's savage heart, an urge to prove himself superior to the be-furred Zaunite so strong that it soon overwhelmed whatever miniscule self-restraint he possessed. must die, and soon, no matter the consequences!>
<That opportunity soon appeared; as our heroes departed the river towards the northern base, noticed an enemy sighted by cleverly placed wards - the enemy jungler !>
"Fish, She-Clock, the wolf is here! Follow and we will kill him!"
"Child, puttin' your terms of address aside, this is clearly a nefarious ambush. To assume he's there alone is foolishness."
"Nonsense! Our wards are cleverly placed and they are cowardly! Come and we will kill him!"
"Son, ain't no thing I haven't seen, but I haven't seen another's hubris match my appetite before. You're consumed by rage, envy, and an unhealthy amount of bull-headedness. You need an intervention somethin' fierce!"
"Enough talk! He is isolated and the kill is mine!"
"But Kha'zix, Don't. What About Those Who Care About You? Your Teammates? Input Verification, Teammates."
"Hm? Oh yeah, sure..."
<'This team is garbage,' he thought to himself>
"WTF RIOT WHY IS LUCIAN GARBAGE NOW"
"My kill will help them! I hunger and I hate that wolf!"
"Your Death Will Help No One. Think Of Those You Leave Behind, Those Who... Love You..."
: 0_0
: 0_0
: "FIX THIS CHAMP RITO"
"We both agreed that night would be our last! I'm no good for you! I'm a lone-bug who will only hurt you in the end! Our time together was sweet but doomed to be brief! Whether I live or die remember me with love!"
"Don't Do This! Don't Abandon Me! Our Child!"
D:
D:
"NO GLOVE NO LOVE NOOB"
<Steeling himself to what he felt must be done, and hardening his heart against the words of his loved one, dives for the lone in a flurry of invisible wings, healing missiles, and saliva.>
"You will be delicious, dog! Become a part of the void!"
<However, within a second of combat the enemy brought to bear our hero's greatest weakness- additional enemy champions.>
(The enemy one) "Take a 'Last Breath', bug!"
"Curses! My wards were not as cleverly placed as I thought! And your pun was awful!"
"It's you who will be eaten, creature! I'm sure you smell better on the INSIDE."
"I"M HELPING!"
"Grief Routine Activated!"
<In a flash of claws and spark of a statik shiv, our hero falls in a chitinous heap. Overwhelmed by grief, charges into her own doomed battle.>
"Eat Ball, You Murdering Meatbags!"
<Despite her fearsome battle cry, she falls even more quickly in battle, turning the tide of the war irreparably in favor of the enemy. Thus ends the tale of our tragic hero and his unnatural, disturbing love, which would not soon be forgotten be anyone involved, whether they wished to or not.>
"ESSENCE REAVER IS F***ING GARBAGE"
*Based on a true story
