The Saddest Moment in League of Legends History

Prologue: ( ganks bot lane and a mighty skirmish ensues. The noble and obese falls in battle, but both and survive to carry on his memory, having crushed their bottom lane foes. However, has been left with less than 50 HP...)

Our Tale Begins:

Well fought, child of chaos, and honor to the fallen!

X_x

<Shrieks incoherently, runs in circles>

Come, let us return to base to spend our honorably acquired treasures.

<As makes her sensible suggestion and begins speaking to her weapons once again, a sudden chill grips the Rift>

<Though 1-8, the foul Lich foe manages to press the 'R' button>

<Requiem's halo of death appears over >

'Friend, doom is afoot! Take what measures you must!'

<Her hyperactive gibbering comes faster and faster; as the global channel continues, her voice begins to crack, tears begin to fall>

'Noble psychopath!! I will not stand for this dart by cruel fate! Our brief sisterhood, forged in battle and blood, will not be so easily sundered!'

<Nearing the end, the gunman ceases her babbling and all motion entirely. Visions of her past deeds, equal parts violent, frequent, and pyroclastic, flow past her jaded eyes. Though each combustive masterpiece brought fleeting joy at the time, they hold no comfort for her now>

'Friend! Sister!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

<The Requiem is completed, bringing a final end to the distressing life of Piltover's bane>

D'X

X_X

x_X

<now 2-8, the Lich suggests to his opponents in as casual a manner as he can manage that surrendering to him is a quite acceptable option>

*Based on a true story

Update:

: "If you seek another distressing tale of heroism and sacrifice, I have written another, to be found here:"

http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/memes/g5o2zrRo-a-tale-of-tragedy-the-gank-foreseen-is-the-most-cruel-of-all

"And yet another:" http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/memes/vRNBGs01-the-most-tragic-hero-in-league-of-legends-history