After 12 long years of nothing, I'm back once again to complain, epic style

So I'm playin my main man, my magnum opus of a champion, midlane full ad Janna. I'm sittin under the nexus tower, eatin a bag of potato chips, when, out of nowhere, Locket of the Iron Solari Mordekeyser Soze, spawns from the dark crack of Tahm Kench's ass, and one shots me! Now, i know what you're thinking: "But Ben, what are you doing playing a video game anyway? Aren't you supposed to be reviewing meme's with PewDiePie?" I understand that, but you gotta realize, liberals need cucking on, as well as off of the rift. I guess what I'm trying to say here is, Riot, please don't match me with challenger flex players when I'm on my alt account that's Gold 2. What are you doing. To compensate for this, I would like another bag of potato chips please.