How to ARAM like LCS

Hi! I'm a challenger Taric main in ARAM and I'm posting this to improve everyone's ARAM gameplay so that they're not trash like my opponents. Here are 6 ways to play ARAM like a true LCS player.

1. If a "teammate" rolls Nidalee and refuses to trade it to you for your Udyr, automatically assume that (s)he is a total douchebag who doesn't think for the team. You're obviously better than him with Nidalee and you deserve to have her. Dodge immediately - you don't deserve a total ass like him.
2. Go full offense. Disregard the defensive items list at all times - this is just RIot baiting you to do less damage.
3. ARAM games are always important. Always take it seriously like your bronze promos.
4. If you lose, always, ALWAYS remember to blame: A teammate for being so trash Their champion for being so broken Their composition for being so broken *Yourself LOL you did nothing wrong! Rito RNG Lag Remember: NEVER blame yourself. This causes severe mental issues and depression. You can never improve if you doubt yourself, so put the blame on everything else to remove your responsibility.
5. gg ez. Always. As mentioned above, to improve you need self confidence. If you beat an opposing team, it was SEVERELY easy and you should rub it in their faces as deep as you can. Proceed to publicly masturbate to show your confidence.
6. If you get a troll one game, just do the same next game to show the world how it feels. How dare they try to ruin your ARAM challenger promos.

That all I can currently share as the best rules of ARAM. Share your inferior tips and trick2gs in the comments below.

GGEZ