Poppy Solves Bot Lane Issues

Hello. I am Poppy. Welcome to my office. As I grow bored this day, I shall assist the champions that frequent the bottom lane. This will amuse me. Next. Poppy. ... What is your grievance? She won't communicate with me Poppy. Not one word. And why is this? She is a mute. She has no voice. This is the problem. Is this true, girl? ... Girl. When I speak to you, you will answer me. ... You dare disobey me? Perhaps I shall become Lollipoppy this day. Do you wish to gaze into the eyes of pure malice?! No Poppy! Don't-! Wait... my voice... I can speak! Fear can move mountains, girl. I see no further issue here. Leave me. Thank you so much, Poppy! My whole life has been a lie... Next. Poppy. Hmm. What is your grievance? It's my marksman, Poppy. He's a cute doggy, but he eats so much. Feast! He's eating my bananas almost as quickly as I throw them! And he just goes crazy when he's around his favorite treat. Yordles... YUM. Turn your gaze away from me, stray. Or you will hunger no more. FEAST! GAHH! No! Down Koggles! Down boy! Don't bite! Don't bit- Wait. Please no. Don't do this... I BEG YOU! DON'T! You... you bit off the head. You've consumed the body whole. I see the darkness here! You're a creature! A monster from the void! You're going to consume us all! I see it all, now! You flatter me, my dear. Now, you're going to need a new marksman. Sivir, come. I heard my name. What happened here?! Soraka is sobbing uncontrollably and you're covered in blood! Poppy, are you injured? Ha. Haha. GAHAHAHA. There is only one weapon on this realm that may harm me... And I use it as my toothpick. But on topic, this goat needs a new partner. Are you allergic to bananas? No... I see no further issue here. Leave me. Come Soraka, you can tell me about why you're crying. I have witnessed the darkness... the darkness... Next. Poppy. What is your grievance? It's my support. He won't... LEAVE me alone. Ever. Not even when I bathe. In fact, he's here right now. But hidden. None may hide from me. What use is concealing your physical body... When I can see into your soul? Come out, Taric. Forgive my rudeness, Poppy. There! You see! He's always there! Poppy, I'm sure you know I just want to show my marksman... The ins and outs of being my partner. Hmm. You amuse me Taric. On the day of reckoning when I become Lollipoppy and rain death and destruction upon all... I will kill you last. You are very kind, Poppy. We will take our leave now. No! Poppy! Do not let him take me! Do you know mercy?! No. I see no further issue here. Leave me. Help me! Someone! Oh Ezreal. You should know by now you can't struggle away from... My gems. Time for one more before I grow bored of this. Next. Poppy. Mordekaiser. ... ... I need a sup- Get out.