My life in League. (Are you trolling me Riot?)

: Oh whoops! I accidentally killed you in half a millisecond! My bad, I'm lagging pretty hard. : Ha ha! I am 0/14/0 and I just got a pentakill! That was hard... : LOL I just made 7 players uninstall, 3 people kill themselves IRL, and summoned satan in one day! : Yay! I killed someone before their brain could even process that I was in the game! : Ok. : Day 789, I still haven't been removed from the game. : Why haven't I been nerfed? Why am I so broken? So many questions, so little answers : "Come on and slam and welcome to the jam..." Where is Space Jam Darius again? : And people still don't realize I am secretly broken... : Enemy laner: WTF JUST HAPPENED I DIED INSTANTLY OMFG THIS SCRIPTING VEIGAR!!! : lol mb : Yeah, that's cool. Just solo'd baron, 1v5'd, and did it all under fountain because this balanced lifesteal I have. : I got nerfed to hell in season 3 and I'm still broken! : Give me the succ : Kill yourself : My bad, I accidentally pressed "R"and got a pentakill : Let's see how salty I can make my team! : -afk at base- : Lmao I'm not dead : I'm a balanced champion! : I can't die and do 9999999 true damage : I literally can't die : I'm literally broken : My own team reported me for being so OP!!! : I exist?

Throw some good ones in the comments!