Patch 6.15 Translated
Sorry to all the folks wanting 6.14 translations. Been so busy I haven't even read them myself. But I'll try to fast-track the 6.15 for you.
> DISCLAIMER: > These patch notes have been modified for humorous and satirical intent (not always simultaneously). This should not be taken too seriously. Nor does it replace actually reading to official patch notes.
Welcome to patch 6.15. Where we start paying [more] attention to our LC$BIGPLAY$, and officially start paying less attention to everyone else.
We're going to be focusing on early game lane swaps. We're not happy with champions leaving their designated corners (Especially the supports), so objective values are being adjusted to fix this disturbing trend. There was also some work done to change the flavor or the month champions. The current roster is starting to bore us.
#CHAMPIONS
BRAUM For a big, bare-chested, Freljordian with with more muscle than a humpback whale, Braum hits pretty hard. This obviously puts him at odds with thematic goals (being a support), so a deal was made to have him pull his punches a bit more. We can neither confirm nor deny that there was any exchanging of goats milk involved.
CORKI Someone was complaining that Corki wasn't mobile enough, so we reduced his passive cooldown. More double dashes should make everyone happy! Disclaimer: Use of the term "Double Dash" is in no way related to the Mario cart tournament he had last night.
HECARIM Dope horse kills people too quickly early game, so we're nerfing his clear speed. Maybe next time we ask for a ride, he'll agree.
ILLAOI
Brush is truly OP. Not only does it hide a 6-stacks Cho'Gath and more Garens than we can count, but it hides entire gods as well. Naturally, we had to draw the line somewhere. Brush was nerfed to no longer hide the hentai awesomeness that is Nagakeboros.
J4 Remember Hecarim? Jarvin is getting the opposite treatment. Let the meta shift!
SKARMA Continuing on my journey to finally remove Karma from existence, We have removed her ability to shield minions. Eventually I'll get rid of the shield entirely, but Morello keeps talking about "bleeding them" or something. We also nerfed the shield strength and empowered move speed. We know leveling up Q is the only decent option she has, so we wanted to make you feel worse about empowering other abilities.
KASSADIN Hey, remember when Kassadin was a hyper-carry lane-bully assassin? We don't either. So we're buffing his abysmal early game a bit. Also, Nether Blade now actually hurts turrets. (>_>)
MALZAHAR We're all about those LC$BIGPLAY$, which puts Malzahar in a bit of a bad spot. On one hand, he builds pure damage while tanking initiations. On the other hand, he's not very exciting to watch. Naturally, something had to give. So we nerfed his passive. We realize the community considers his passive perfectly balanced, but you'll just have to trust us on this one. He's better off.
NIDALEE Resetting her AA time on R was taking away from what we actually want her to do (Be an uncatchable pain-in-the-ass). So we removed the reset and buffed her early game spears. There also seems to be an issue with her jumping on targets when it's not a guaranteed kill, so we nerfed her execute unless the victim ate a spear. More spear chucking, less interaction. Just what the doctor ordered.
RENEKTON [bar] The measuring stick for top lane isn't quite measuring up these days. A buff to his post-6 early game should help power creep him a bit.
SHEN Health regen again. We've been through this before.
SHYVANA Ever seen a dragon fly in to eat your face early game? Not often enough apparently. We're letting afk-vana initiate more often early on. No change late game, since that's when she's supposed to be farming jungle to build her fury.
SONA <insert 6.14 here>
TOPH BEFONG She roams too much when ahead. Fixed.
BATGIRL An ADC that specializes in killing everyone and their pet vampire chihuahua (poor Cuddles) shouldn't have so much trouble destroying evil structures. So we added some explosives to tumble. Ask Ziggs. Also, we reduced the chances of her getting a crit on tumble. You can thank us later.
VIKTOR Chaos storm got an AI upgrade. Unfortunately, there were a few quirks and it starts resisting orders any time it stops being his hat.
VLADIMIR It seems he got an early taste of Kled's blood and.... Well.... Lets just say it didn't agree with him. He been a bit more sluggish since it happened, but we're too busy to do anything about it.
ZAC Something something minimap problems.
ZYRA After weakening her plants, Zyra's spells started up under-performing. (You read that correctly.) So we buffed the one nobody levels up anyways.
#ITEMS
ARDENT CENSOR and MIKAEL'S CRUCIBLE Turns out, when you don't make a passive unique people just start buying the item that has it. Again, and again, and again, and again. There's an entire shop out there, you can buy more than 6 of just one item! (Unless it's wards on the support. I'm perfectly ok with that.)
#SUMMONER'S RIFT (Because everything else was for a different game, apparently.)
OUTER TURRETS " We're going to be focusing on early game lane swaps. We're not happy with champions leaving their designated corners (Especially the supports), so objective values are being adjusted to fix this disturbing trend. " Also, turrets now give first blood so games can snowball harder faster.
#TWISTED TREELINE
LORD VAN DAMN'S PILLAGER Now an improved Sunfire cape! . . . With an off switch.
#MINIMAP ICON CLEANUP A lot of abilities no longer show up on the minimap. (Looking at you, Thresh.)
#CHAMPION SELECT
Testing a new feature that will prove support secondaries have less wait time than support primaries. (That's still a thing, right?) Oh, and it already has a known bug that isn't fixed. This shouldn't be anything new to the community.
#RANKED TEAM QUEUES The intern that monitors these things has been spending more time at work than usual. We deny any allegations of black-mail.
#BUGFIXES Other people did work too.
#HIS ROYAL CRABBINESS
He attempted to make a break for it in the ward select screen. Thankfully he was caught just in time and the lock has been replaced.
#UPCOMING SKINS
Viktor has been busy:
- Ashe now wears a mask.
- Katarina now makes things explode (other than Ziggs and Rumble).
- Ekko has more clones that do nothing in game. We still can't explain why. (>_>)
Hope you enjoy(ed). Also, I put up some challenges for the community in the last topic, but did so pretty late. So, I'm going to bring them here. MAKE IT HAPPEN, PEOPLE!
> Backed by popular request I am proposing a some challenges to the community to increase my motivation for translating the next set of patch notes.
>
> - 1) Get Scarizard to post in this topic.
> - 2) Get a Red post to request I do this again.
> - 2.5) Bonus if Scarizard requests it. <Insert evil laugh here.>
> - 3) Get this topic to the top of the front page (none of that meme crap allowed).
> - 3.5) Bonus if it gets pinned.
>
> Naturally, I have to be able to verify these. Screenshots are recommended for the last one.
> If you think these conditions are too hard, look at my name. <Queue the thunder and lightning.>
EDIT:
- #1 topic on the front page. First objective complete!
alone T___T
BOOP
