Never In My Life Have I Been So Discouraged

LONG RANT BOYS. I'll put a TL;DR

I was so excited ranking up during season 6, ya know? I was a little happy camper. Terrible, terrible player. I knew all of my faults and weaknesses. I had my friends tell me, "Lol, you'll never hit gold dude, you're just not good enough." Man, It took like 150 games, but I finally hit gold. I was excited. I was silver for the past 2 seasons and finally, I hit gold.

After awhile, I kept playing ranks. I had some good games and just as many bad games. I had people tell me, "Dude, you're a f**king loser you're barely hanging on in Gold. You'll get demoted back to silver if you keep playing scrub." At some point I was hovering between G5 and G4, ya know. I was worried and I thought, "Hey, maybe these guys are right. I'm not good enough to climb." Then, I just kept doing ranks for fun. All of a sudden, I found myself in Gold 2. Wow, I thought to myself, this is a pretty good accomplishment.... Omg, maybe I can hit Plat. Holy shit, from Silver to Plat in 1 season... that's the miracle jump, that's when people start going "Lol, silver to plat in 1 season? Yeah, boosted." And I could show off my solo badge (but then they took it out, feelsbadman)

Well, I hit a slump, dropped back down to G3. Started getting a bit disheartened to continue playing ranks. Then, coming down to the end of summer, I went for that final push. I went back to G2 and from there went on a 10 game winning spree. Hit G1 and hit my plat promos. Oh, it's time -- or so I thought. First plat promos, failed. Alright, that's fine. We fail some times. Got back to plat promos a second time, failed again.

At this point, I'm furious. 6 straight losses after hitting promos. Demoted to G2, back to G1, back to G2 then G3. I was ready to give up. I thought I'd push for it again. G2, G1, G2. Just about gave up. I heard end of season was coming, so, I thought I'd go before time was up. G1, 5 game winning spree, plat promos alright. Failed again, 3rd time. Won twice more, Plat promos again, failed again. 4th time.

This went on 7 times, 7 times till I gave up on the last day. It was the most frustrating feeling I have ever had. I was mad at the crappy ass teammates I got matched with every god damn promo. But never, I mean literally, never have I felt so disappointed in myself over a game. As much as I wanted to blame my team for stopping me from advancing to promos, I always wondered why I could never carry the 3 games, the ONLY 3 games I needed to hit Plat promos.

I just went for Plat again in the preseason, lol. 8 times in counting now. 15minutes into the game, I was the jungler for my last game to decide whether I fail or get 1 more shot to try and go for Plat, I got discouraged from playing. I screwed up early and the other jungler was out jungling me. I mean, I was dying at my buffs, my mid laner was already losing, my bot lane was getting stomped and my top laner was just getting ruined. Ya know, the game that was suppose to be decided by me, was lost by me.

I sat there and for the first time, I believe, in my entire life I felt a sense of hopelessness. I have officially been discouraged from playing ranks.

TL;DR

I lost 7 promos for my Plat series before season ended. Tried again for preseason, lost and now I'm feeling too discouraged to play ranks anymore. GG rip, I'm too bad for this game.