Remind Me to Not Make Premades Anytime Soon

First off: I'm posting this in Gameplay because it apparently doesn't fit in M&G, according to Riot. My sense of humor is too dry, it seems.

Just went into a three-man premade blind pick; here's what happened:

1. Before game, I waited a half-hour for my friend to finish his game so we could play together in a premade. Then, he had a 20 minute afk penalty, so I need to just wait it out.

2. Person one doesn't give a leash to person two, the jungler. I, the mid laner, must leash Talon on my own.
   

3. Person one is somehow put into a 2v1 bot lane, because the two other people not in my premade wanted to go top together.
   

4. Person two disconnects at, like, 4 minutes.
   

5. Person one is a noob and feeds bot lane.
   

6. Person two needs to leave; goes AFK.
   

7. Katarina builds like a support.
   

8. I'm the only person not feeding.
   

9. Ahri can't really carry a game well.
   

10. Enemy Ziggs says that the odds weren't in their favor.
    

11. Enemy team wins.
    

12. I can't report my premade in good taste because they're my friends IRL; I don't want to offend them.
    

13. (cries)
    

Maybe I should find a different MOBA and not tell any of my friends I play it. Paragon looks interesting.